Lady Gabriella Windsor’s husband Thomas Kingston died from ‘catastrophic’ head wound.

I remember Anniebach, how time has flown - and the pain never goes away does it?

My darling Catherine took her life 6years 4 months ago, much loved mother, wife, daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, friend, this followed a several years struggle with a mental illness I worked for Mind.

Me too, Kate1949, I lost my dear brother, my only sibling. Now lost both parents, so no birth family left. What very much helped me & Mum was SOBs, (Survivors Of Bereavement By Suicide). We went on a retreat with them, where I met many others who had lost a sibling by suicide. And my late Mum met many who had lost a child. They do lots of helpful booklets, most are free.

That's very good advice Applegran. However there is often no warning. They just do it. Can you imagine the shock?

My last offering on this topic and I both want to say I apologise for taking up a lot of space, and that I have felt it was worth it, as it might make a difference to someone. So I am grateful if you are reading this with understanding.

If you are with someone who is very distressed and you are concerned that they have suicidal thoughts:

Ask open questions. These are questions that invite someone to say more than 'yes' or 'no', such as 'How have you been feeling?' or 'What happened next?'
Give them time. You might feel anxious to hear their answers, but it helps if you let them take the time they need.
Take them seriously. People who talk about suicide do sometimes act on their feelings — it's a common myth that they don't. It's best to assume that they are telling the truth about feeling suicidal.
Try not to judge. You might feel shocked, upset or frightened, but it's important not to blame the person for how they are feeling. They may have taken a big step by telling you.
Don't skirt around the topic. There is still a taboo around talking about suicide which can make it even harder for people experiencing these feelings to open up and feel understood. Direct questions about suicide like 'Are you having suicidal thoughts?' or 'Have you felt like you want to end your life?' can help someone talk about how they are feeling.

My brother took his own life in his 20s. There is always the 'why?'. What more could we have done? As I've got older, I feel that something traumatic happened to him that he never told anyone about and he couldn't live with it.

What to do in an emergency
If someone has attempted suicide, call 999 and stay with them until the ambulance arrives.

If you're worried that someone is at immediate risk of taking their own life, you should do the following if you feel able:

you should remove anything the person could use to harm themselves
stay with them
get emergency help.

I think it would be good if we all knew what to do if someone we know and maybe love might be at risk of suicide. I have copied what follows from Mind, the mental health charity.

What if someone I know feels suicidal?
It can be very distressing if you are worried about someone who feels suicidal. They may have talked about wanting to end their life, or you may be concerned that they are thinking about it.

You might feel unsure of what to do, but there are lots of things that might help. You could:

encourage them to talk about their feelings
encourage them to seek treatment and support
offer emotional support
offer practical support
help them think of ideas for self-help
help them to make a support plan
The main aspect of supporting someone through this is compassion, listening and most importantly not over-reacting or becoming upset. Remaining calm and talking the situation through is extremely important.

It may also be helpful to remove things that someone could use to harm themselves, particularly if they have mentioned specific things they might use.

I will add more in a following message.

My father shot himself when he was 48. I was 14, my brother 2. He was always cheerful. We had, the day before, loads of fun with several activities and when we went to bed he told us he loved us. He apparently stood at the end of each child’s bed for a while when we were asleep and thanked my mother for the family she gave him. He went to work in the morning (he was a police sergeant. He played a game of chess with his colleagues when it was quiet and went to his office. A moment later they heard a shot. They ran to his office and found him. Now, at 57 am still not over it and when I got married and had my 3 kids, I remember thinking ‘you could’ve been there’. He loved kids and would’ve loved my husband too. We never got the answers we wanted which was quite simply ‘why’. I so feel for the family and wish I could give his parents and wife a big hug and tell them to get support and counselling. We didn’t get that and we all needed it. My mother was that gutted she ended up in a psychiatric hospital for 3 months.

So very sad. Having to deal with a suicide in any family is heartbreaking.
We always think we can stop it but unfortunately no-one knows what’s going on in someone’s mind.

So terribly sad, I feel so sorry for his wife, parents and friends. If only he’d felt able to reach out for some help.

Hels001

So very sad. I wonder from reading lemsips post if he was suffering from PTSD? It certainly wouldn't surprise me after what he'd been through. Such a sad loss for all concerned.

Such a sad time for all in their family.

I, too, would wonder, reading lemsips post if there may well be a PTSD connection, not that we'll ever know. Such a horrid condition.

My husband has an honourary RAF position. Brigadiers often tell of the difficulties dealing with PTSD. Flying on top may be exciting, but seeing carnage on the ground is difficult for those involved.

Someone can seem chatty and normal, talking about what they are going to do tomorrow, then go home and take their own life.
It happened to a colleague many years ago, he was telling me about a problem he'd solved and would tell me about it the next day. ☹

We lost a very close friend to suicide nearly forty years ago.

Why why why never goes away. It’s a life sentence to those left behind.

Some things can’t be fixed

It can’t be fixed unless the person tells somebody else how desperate they are feeling. I’ve known two men who committed suicide, one in his thirties and one in his forties. In both cases nobody, including their wives, had any idea how they were feeling, both of them were functioning apparently normally both at home and at work, and confided in nobody at all. The shock afterwards was quite devastating for everybody who knew them.

Allsorts

So very sad, on the surface everything going for him. It’s a waste of a life. If only he had talked to someone, there’s nothing that can’t be fixed.

I agree.
there’s nothing that can’t be fixed

We don’t know what was troubling him so we can’t speculate about how it could have been fixed. I beg to disagree with you Annie despite your tragic experience.

Some things can’t be fixed

So very sad, on the surface everything going for him. It’s a waste of a life. If only he had talked to someone, there’s nothing that can’t be fixed.

So very sad. I wonder from reading lemsips post if he was suffering from PTSD? It certainly wouldn't surprise me after what he'd been through. Such a sad loss for all concerned.

It is not so much what goes on behind closed doors, but what is going on in someone's mind, remains unknown to all those around, even their nearest and dearest, unless they talk about it.

My heart goes out to the family left behind with the emotions and thoughts they will have to deal with now. May he RIP.

So sad for his family, may he RIP

Such sad news. His poor young wife, married for such a short time.