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Mobile phones can be a menace

(60 Posts)
Yorkshiregel Wed 12-Oct-16 09:53:46

I must be one of the minority when I say I do not use a mobile phone. I do have one but it stays mostly in its box. I hate this habbit of taking your 'phone to the dinner table. First of all it is bad manners, but I can think of nothing more rude than saying 'sorry I have to take this' when you are with others eating a meal. You DO NOT have to take the 'phone call, in fact you should not have your 'phone switched on when you are with others. To me this is like saying 'Sorry, you are so boring I will talk to whoever is calling me because they are more interesting' OK it may be an emergency, but that is different. If something is likely to happen then leave the 'phone switched on, but for everything else you should ignore the call.

When I am on a bus or train I do not want to hear people's conversations on their mobiles either. Keep them in your pocket.

Also these 'phones are putting little children at risk. How often do you see mothers wandering down the street with 'phone stuck to her ear, while little one is walking behind, out of sight, out of mind, she cannot see what he/she is up to and they could actually decide to cross the road to see something and mother would be no wiser. Not to mention how often children simply go missing these days. It takes just seconds for them to be snatched and driven away.

ninathenana Wed 12-Oct-16 10:45:58

Whilst I wholeheartedly agree with you regarding phones at the table and when in company and parents in the street paying more attention to their phones than their children. I couldn't be without mine. I use it for everything I want to do on line, also to text family and friends. In fact I vary rarely use it to receive or make calls smile

Greyduster Wed 12-Oct-16 11:22:39

And some of them burst into flames! Could set fire to the tablecloth..... hmm. I like having a mobile phone but am not in thrall to it and would never use it in company. I was most annoyed with my son when we were on holiday. We had a table booked for a special meal. DD et al had gone ahead and DS insisted that he would drive us. Then he got a call from one of his stepsons just as we were about to get into the car and said "I have to take this". He was on the phone so long in the end D-I-L said "I'll drive or we'll never get there" and bundled him into the car where the call continued. What was it about? Stepson had his friends round for an evening and didn't know how to connect up the gas barbecue!! And that couldn't wait. I don't know how DH kept his temper!

felice Wed 12-Oct-16 12:29:36

It is in Church that they really annoy me, well, lots of other places too actually but no matter how many times people are told to turn off phones in Church there is always one or more rings during the service.
I was sitting behind a family one Sunday and all of them were texting during the service, why bother coming at all ?????

Christinefrance Wed 12-Oct-16 12:35:55

felice that is awful, of all places not to use a phone Church must rank highly. I agree with ninathenana, I use my phone in the same way. Certainly meal times should be screen free and I abhor the taking of a call when in conversation with someone else. It's a generational thing I think so I sound like a grumpy old woman when I complain to my family about it. I think good manners should prevail.

Spangles1963 Wed 12-Oct-16 17:45:59

OP I totally agree with you about phones at the table. And when I am socialising with friends. If I am with a friend for coffee,or a drink,I leave my phone in my bag,on silent. I wouldn't dream of having it on the table,much less answering it,text or call,unless it was urgent,e.g. I was awaiting news from someone in hospital,or something similar. And as for these parents who pay more attention to their phones than their children,don't get me started. I feel like grabbing the phone off them and hurling it into the nearest bin.

phoenix Wed 12-Oct-16 18:01:03

I have posted before about a friend that I invited to supper after not having seen her for ages, and how she put her phone on the table and read and replied to various text messages throughout the evening.

Another (mutual) friend was here too, we both ended up feeling surplus to requirements!

I had invited them as it was my birthday, Mr P was away working and I thought it would be good to get together and have a catch up. C arrived with card, flowers and wine, phone girl T arrived with her phone!

Please don't get me wrong, I didn't expect anything, although a card would have been appreciated, but I felt that we didn't really even have her company!

Funnily enough, although C has been round quite a few times since, I somehow keep forgetting to check if T would like to join us........

Nelliemoser Wed 12-Oct-16 18:56:29

I have just got my phone back after two weeks. I had left it at DDs when we visited. I can't say I missed it.

Fortunately I wasn't going far from home in that time.

annsixty Thu 13-Oct-16 07:24:25

Only yesterday I ordered a new smart phone to replace my museum piece. I can't wait for it to arrive. I am very considerate with it's use in company, but as I am rarely in company that is not a problem. I use it mostly to keep in touck with family and friends whilst not using the landline which H,who suffers from paranoia associated with his dementia guards like the crown jewels. He has to listen to every conversation, presumably because he thinks I talk about him, which actually I will be if it is to my daughter.

NfkDumpling Thu 13-Oct-16 07:38:45

DH is very proud of the fact he only has an ancient Nokia which rarely leaves the house. He does occassionally take it with him if he thinks he may need to phone me. This means: turn it on - ring me - turn it off again. Most infuriating if I need to ring him back! He likes me to carry mine though - just in case, I do most of the time, but with the ringer turned right down as I find it most embarrassing when it beeps. I rarely use it though as Norfolk has atrocious mobile coverage and actual phone calls are usually impossible outside towns.

I do love WhatsApp though. I'm in a group with the kids and it's a great way to have chats and banter.

BlueBelle Thu 13-Oct-16 08:36:39

I love my phone and wouldn't be without it it's always in my pocket at hand it's my social connection with the world without it I d feel very isolated I wouldn't use it at the table only in emergencies and certainly wouldn't have a conversation when with company if it rang I would ask to ring them back but I wouldn't want to be without it I use it more for texting than talking

Jane10 Thu 13-Oct-16 09:15:03

Me too BlueBelle. I don't give the number out to other than close family and friends. I mainly use it for texting or on the internet. Its how I access GN for instance.

granjura Thu 13-Oct-16 09:25:20

With you all the way Yorkshiregel.

On holiday recently we watched all families at the table in great restaurants, all on their phones- and young couples too. One couple from Rome was on honeymoon and were on the phone all the time.

I do have one ... somewhere.

granjura Thu 13-Oct-16 09:27:19

At a funeral recently- the final part of the Good Bye sermon - and someone's phone goes off with a rock tune from Iron Maiden.

tanith Thu 13-Oct-16 09:39:33

Love my smart phone very rarely use it for actual calls but for lots of other things. Catching up with my children and grandkids on FB while I'm away from home, banking, GN of course and keeping in touch with OH when he is fishing somewhere on his own , wouldn't be without it when motorway driving either it gives me piece of mind . Everyone has a different perspective but I think the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. My little granddaughter has quite a long walk home from her new high school and I can't tell you how much it's relieved her anxiety to have a phone in her pocket to contact us if she needs to.

crazygranmda Thu 13-Oct-16 09:41:47

When out for a meal suggest all phones are placed on the table and the first one to touch theirs, picks up the bill. Quite a deterrent! Seriously though, I share many of the concerns raised, especially with regard to phones seeming to take precedence over young children. However, I'm also sure there was some equivalent to the phone that our parents generation despaired and yet we survived :-)

threexnanny Thu 13-Oct-16 09:51:56

I've had a car written off by a girl too busy on her phone to see that I had stopped. On the other hand if someone has been delayed and needs to stop you worrying about their lateness it is invaluable.
Like most things they are good when used sensibly, but not everyone is.

Lynnrose Thu 13-Oct-16 09:53:30

I love my smartphone and wouldn't be without it, however.... On social occasions, I believe that use of mobiles should not allowed. I can't understand why people get so obsessed with not having access to their phone when they are visiting someone or on a night out.
So, use of phones at my house are restricted lol. For example, a tradition with my family at Christmas is breakfast before opening presents. As the Christmas before had been annoying that morning, with various people having to look at their phones every couple of minutes, I used a Christmas tray and passed it round to collect everyone's phones (mine included,) so that we could have at least an hour of a 'social Christmas' smile
I shall be doing this every year from now on and also will apply this to any Grandchildren, when they are old enough to have a phone, as to me it is so simple...popping round to visit? ~ then you don't need your phone whilst chatting to your family members.
Lastly ~ Movie night/watching TV with others ~ NO PHONES, yeah I'm strict lol
Hope that doesn't make me sound over-bearing? I just think that any generation of phone user, should be able to live without their phone when they are in company.


Persistentdonor Thu 13-Oct-16 09:56:16

I went on a works do with about a dozen colleagues, mainly in their 20's and 30's who were friended to each other on facebook. I was amused and pained to watch them all use their mobiles to check in with their current location, and then get notifications from all the others who were sitting at the table with us!

MammaN Thu 13-Oct-16 09:59:08

The theory of me having a mobile phone was in case of emergency. However, should said emergency arise, I'm not sure I would be able to locate my phone and the chances of it being charged up are nil. No-one (important) ever rings me (they know it's a waste of time).

It is useful when I am meeting friends to actually have the phone with me, fully charged, in case they need to text me. I have been known to search and find the phone and charge it up ready for these occasions. Or not.

Shinyredcar Thu 13-Oct-16 10:03:52

I agree with most of the comments made so far. But — there is always a 'but' — sometimes those phones are lifelines. I spent 15 years with both parents and most of it DH too, always in danger of emergency admission to hospital, with cardiac, diabetic and stroke crises imminent. This meant I never drank alcohol at all, because I was always likely to be summoned to drive to help, deal with hospital admissions etc., at any time of the day or night. Knowing my father could always contact me gave him and me confidence that help could be summoned. I was 60 miles away. That difference between me knowing immediately or having to wait to get home and get a message at the end of a long day was huge. With dementia in the picture those messages were often incomprehensible by the time they reached me!

Everyone knew my situation. They were supportive of my need to keep an eye on my phone.

Most phones have a vibrate function. Put it in your pocket and turn off the ring. Then no one else needs to be disturbed.

All the other complaints seem to spring from good manners. Who was responsible for teaching those? And they also reflect a lack of security and sense of self-worth. Again, where did the younger generations learn those?

This is a new technology. The codes for social use are being written by us all every day. Can we not feed in with experience and understanding so the debate includes us all? We are as entitled to a view as anyone else. Simply getting cross and refusing to play is not helpful to anyone.

Teddy123 Thu 13-Oct-16 10:07:00

I always have mine on 'vibrate' and 'silent'.

Nothing ruder or more anti social than those who are forever checking & using their phones when with others.

But wouldn't be without it .... on the motorway for example.

I'm convinced there's some addictive device implanted into all mobiles .... BIG BROTHER and all that. I am joking of course but ....

TriciaF Thu 13-Oct-16 10:18:20

We have one between us but hardly ever use it, apart from when one of us goes some distance, usually shopping, just for emergencies.
Our bank, and Orange, ask for the mobile number to text messages, rather than ring on our landline. I don't know why.

roger71 Thu 13-Oct-16 10:20:49

i use a mobility scooter the times i have to swerve or stop as someone is texing as they walk even mothers with pushchairs

knspol Thu 13-Oct-16 10:29:12

My DH needed to see a consultant with some urgency and so we decided to go privately. Said doctor had her mobile on her desk and responded to calls via short texts/emails 4 times during consultation. No apologies or 'excuse me, I must take this', she just stopped either speaking to us or listening and answered her phone. The final insult was the £250 fee!