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Noisy kids

(38 Posts)
happydais Thu 10-Aug-17 20:25:27

I went on a short break to the Cape with my daughter and 13 year old grandson, staying with one of her friends who has two children 13 and 9 in a small house with 3 bedrooms and a big garden. It rained a lot of the time so the kids played indoors, bouncing a football up and down the hallway, bouncing off the walls, shrieking at the top of their voices. The parents don't's better than being on the computer! Then they're outside with hose pipe, spraying all the windows and throwing the ball around. Well, I don't know about you, but I just wanted to run away to get some peace and quiet. They just didn't get it. Sitting in the back of the car with them continuing to screech I lost my hearing in one ear. Never again I thought.

Just had a conversation with my daughter as we're going to the theatre tonight with same family. The two Mums in the front of the car and me in the back with the screeching kids. I refused to go, which led to a discussion with my daughter that it's difficult to take me anywhere. I spend 24/7 alone in my home, apart from a couple of hours or so when I go out. I'm so used to peace and quiet and just can't take the noise. She and her friend talk constantly from am to pm and I wonder what I'm doing there. They just don't get it.

In all fairness my daughter does take me out, which I appreciate. She doesn't like to know I'm all alone, but my head aches just remembering the noise. What is wrong with respect these days. I'm a person too

tanith Thu 10-Aug-17 21:02:02

The fact that there was going to be 3 children of those ages would of been enough for me to decline that particular trip, kids make noise when they play/enjoy themselves and like you my toleration levels to noise are not what they were.

I'm sorry your trip was spoiled but I'm sure your daughter thought you would enjoy spending time away. Maybe stick to trips with just your own family members in future.

midgey Thu 10-Aug-17 21:05:01

There is absolutely nothing worse than healthy boisterous children playing! Enjoy your peace at home!

Eglantine19 Thu 10-Aug-17 21:34:43

It's what you get used to. I was a teacher for 35 years so I find that I just tune children out! Music though that's another thing. Anything with a insistent beat really gets on my nerves!

rosesarered Thu 10-Aug-17 22:16:43

A lot of children seem to run around screaming at the tops of their voices these days, but you would think the 13 year olds had passed that stage happydais wouldn't you?
It sounds horrendous.
can you and your DD go shopping together once the DGC are back at school?

Anya Thu 10-Aug-17 22:17:27

Ignore the boisterous behaviour and the noise will tune itself out, or, as Eglantine says you'll just get used to it. Better than sitting at home in lonely but peaceful splendour - you can do that when you get back home; and you'll enjoy it all the more.

BlueBelle Fri 11-Aug-17 07:00:43

Oh dear poor kids we moan if they sit in their bedrooms we moan if they are on their phones, we moan if they play loudly it sounds as if they may have been boys and 13 year old boys have masses of energy and are still totally daft (until they re about 24 if you're lucky) you don't like the Mums talking and chatting in the car so to be honest I think if you are so uncomfortable with the kids and the Mums probably best not to go, than to go and be miserable and uncomfortable
When my three kids were young teens I had a 90 year old living next to me one day I said to her do tell me if the kids annoy you with too much noise I ve never forgotten her wise words she said. 'My dear I love hearing their noise I know I m still alive'

Anya Fri 11-Aug-17 07:11:09

There's a thought to hold onto BB 🤔

gillybob Fri 11-Aug-17 07:15:02

My three are very outdoorsy children. They go stir crazy if they are stuck inside for very long. We've had quite a bit of rain these last few weeks (lovely for 2 days now so shhhhh) but I have been putting their wellies and raincoats on and going out on the beach anyway. You can only get so wet then it doesn't matter. Then they are able to run and scream and shout and not bother a soul. On Tuesday we went to the BMX park on their bikes. It was lashing down and they had the whole place to themselves. A bit slippy but apparently all the more fun. I love to hear them having fun.

SussexGirl60 Fri 11-Aug-17 10:24:20

I think there's a time and place to make a lot of noise...and in the hallway bouncing a ball off the wall and in the back of the car isn't, in my view, included in that. I would also find it very trying...infact you're not alone there. The trouble is, younger people do seem to be around noise all the time-it's just their lifestyle-and so they don't notice it at much. When you're used to being in a quiet environment as many people are naturally, as they get older, it becomes very noticeable. I think it's a shame that they can't value peace and quiet sometimes but I guess we can't change the way if the world. I just say nothing unless it's a total extreme-and decline invitations if I really don't feel like it...and accept plenty of others when I do.

inishowen Fri 11-Aug-17 10:38:03

Before my grandchildren came along I found other people's children intolerable. Now I can withstand any noise they make. It is just what you get used to. We're going on a family holiday to Tenerife. Six adults and four grandchildren. Bring it on.

radicalnan Fri 11-Aug-17 10:45:02

I don't mind noise but the lack of respect does for me. My friend who often wants to take me out with her and her kids, well, the way they speak to her 'you are an idiot mum' or 'drunk,drunk,drunk all the time mum' and they fight non kids had to sit still (more or less) in the car and shut up while I was driving......they were not allowed to go through my hand bag looking for treats, fight over my phone and so on (not sure I had a phone back then) but no one DARED go into my bag.

We did play i spy games and sing songs but this constant screaming, fighting and what my mother called 'smacking and dabbing' was not allowed

I did not respond to bullying either, demands for MacDonalds or else...........would have been 'or else'and plenty of it.

And, I did the smacking and dabbing on the rare occasions it was required.

W11girl Fri 11-Aug-17 11:06:28

BlueBelle...there are limits to what we have to put up with. Kids these days have taken up "screeching" and not the normal "shouting" that we did in our youth....most are ill mannered because they're parents are! I avoid children where possible. I have to attend a wedding this weekend where I know there will be quite a few...I have armed myself with table games for them to play. I will hand them over and then retreat without anybody noticing!

jusnoneed Fri 11-Aug-17 11:22:02

I notice that a lot of the children seem to scream for no good reason these days (hope they never need to for real as nobody would worry about something being wrong) and seem to have to shout at each other rather than talk to each other. We have a few young families around here and the noise can be terrible, you can hear them from some distance. Luckily they all seem to have the attention span of a gnat so soon move on from outside here.
Another thing that appalls me is the bad language that comes from some of them, one girl I hear swears like a trooper. It really makes you wonder how they are being raised, but you see some of the parents (and listen to their loud music etc) and you can see where future problems will be.

Musicelf Fri 11-Aug-17 11:44:55

When we visit our DD and her 3 children, it takes me a while to get used to the sudden increase in noise. On my own I can soon learn to tune it out - like Eglantine I was a teacher for many years, and playground duties......!! Not only that, I was a music teacher, so had to get used to rock bands, recorders and the massed band of glockenspiels, daily.

Since retiring I really value peace and quiet, and my DH finds it unbearable to listen to screeching youngsters. I think women, particularly mothers/grandmothers are far more able to tune out children's and babies' noise than men.

Nelliemaggs Fri 11-Aug-17 11:45:31

Every afternoon after school the shouting and laughter begins, in a garden behind me and up the road a bit. I love it. I will be gardening and could set my watch by it. I remarked to my daughter that there must be a childminder living there or how else would there be so many children; I surmised 7 or 8. Then one weekend I had my three grandsons here enjoying a sunny afternoon while I prepared a picnic and suddenly realised that there were probably no more than 3 kids in that garden behind. The noise that a 3 year old, 4 year old and 8 year old can make just having fun was amazing. No bad behaviour, just having a whale of a time.
We once drove from the Canadian border down to St. Paul's Minnesota with four children in the back. Mine had never experienced bubble gum but I could hardly refuse it for them without appearing rude. Now that did grate, the incessant popping for hour upon hour.

goldengirl Fri 11-Aug-17 12:19:38

Our GC are noisy but there's a lot of them. Luckily they do respond to 'pipe down' from time to time. The neighbours children are noisy too - one especially is always crying so goodness knows what they get up to. I don't mind in small doses. But when school comes out it's time to hibernate!!!
I must admit I don't recall being a noisy child - I was perfect of course grin

CardiffJaguar Fri 11-Aug-17 12:21:55

I think we all know that kids will be noisy. Even in school there is now much more noise than 50 or more years ago. So the answer is to avoid kids as much as possible.

We all need peace and quiet in our lives. As present day parents move towards retirement watch them change. It does mean we have to tell some people that we cannot stand the shrieking - it can even hurt your ears - and not to mind when we exit those very noisy areas.

There is one method to use that I have found helpful; get a pair of earphones, the ones that cut out all noise, and put the connecting wires in your pocket with your phone. If challenged just say you like listening to music and if the leads are discovered unconnected just say there was nothing much on until the next programme.

paddyann Fri 11-Aug-17 12:37:24

dont you get all the peace and quiet you need when you're at home on your own? Being around children is a very good thing for older/elderly people .Diidin't you see the TV programme about the 4 year olds in an old peoples home? What a difference these wee ones made to the elderly residents lives ,try to accept that being young often means exhuberance and joy and join in...we'll all be dead soon enough,have fun with the young lives around you while you can

paddyann Fri 11-Aug-17 12:42:56

jusnoneed It really makes you wonder how they are being raised, but you see some of the parents (and listen to their loud music etc) and you can see where future problems will be.,

well I listen to loud music sometimes VERY loud music and I'm 63 !My GD's and I can be found dancing round the kitchen regularly and my GS who is now in his mid teens nicknamed me daft granny after a session of music and teaching him to Cha cha when he was nearly 3 ..he still calls me that now .Music sometimes needs to fill the room for me and I love it loud as do my GC.Its NOT a reason to think children are being badly raised or ill treated .

gillybob Fri 11-Aug-17 12:45:58

I'm with you paddyann we love listening to music and dancing around the house . We don't live in a library .

BlueBelle Fri 11-Aug-17 12:48:27

I think happydais is incredibly lucky that her daughter is inviting her along on her outings so many grans on here never see their children or grandchildren but here we have a daughter who is bending over backwards to include her Mum even to the point of inviting her on what was obviously a trip out to the theatre with her own friend

Happydais seems annoyed that she had to sit in the back with her grandchildren whilst the two mums chatted in the front of the car thinking it was disrespectful but it wasn't her trip she had been invited along as a happy inclusion and should be overjoyed she is still wanted, she's one lucky lady

If you are very old or ill and need constant peace and quiet why not ask your daughter to only invite you out when the kids are at school

I love hearing the laughter, squeaks, shrieks of happy kids for heavens sake they re only kids for such a short time we moan enough that they always have their heads in a phone and aren't interacting with real friends so be glad they are vibrant and healthy and full of life
You're dead a long time

happydais Fri 11-Aug-17 13:02:08

Thank you for all your support. I should probably have mentioned that I've been on my own for over 20 years and moved to be nearer to my daughter just 5 years ago. I was quite sick when I moved, but being close to her has helped tremendously (I'm just 20 miles away,) and I no longer suffer with depression. She and her friend are both professional women who had their children later I life, so of course, everything is about the children. It was such a shock to my system to be enclosed in a small space in their holiday home for a few days. It was particularly uncomfortable for me to travel in the back of the car with the kids, yelling and screeching. My ear has gone deaf and has not recovered. Yes, we went to the beach, but I'm so fair I can't take the sun all day so I was offered a little tent to sit in on my own. There's nothing there except beach and sea. So now I've got it all out I've answered my own question. Much as I love being with them all, I just can't do it.

happydais Fri 11-Aug-17 13:12:30

Yes BlueBelle, I am so lucky to have my daughter. She is my doctor, my financier, my best friend and I love her to bits. I've told her I would never stand in her way, but she bends over backwards to help me. I thought I could do this trip with them but I just couldn't cope with the proximity of the noise. I love the kids, they're clever, sporty, have so much energy, but I'm just not able to cope when I can't get my rest. I thought it would be better to accept than stay home alone. That's what getting old has done for me.

Norah Fri 11-Aug-17 13:12:44

It is quiet in my home, noisy in dgcs homes, as it should. If I want quiet, I stay to my home and don't invite them over to make clatterous noise.