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Wedding gifts , what to spend

(62 Posts)
Floradora9 Wed 17-Jan-18 10:53:10

I see a thread on MSE ( Money Savings Expert ) from someone who had kept a spreadsheet of the gifts they received on their wedding and the poster asks if they should spend the same amount of money when these people then married . The views seem to be that circumstances change so they should give what is appropriate now . I wonder if anyone else still has their list of wedding guests and what they received from them . I still have mine 52 years after the event . What a lot of Pyrex , sheets and cutlery there was . No wedding lists in shops at that time and I would say the average gift cost about five pounds though some were much more. I still use some of them .

pollyperkins Thu 18-Jan-18 13:32:17

Unlike most couples today we had nothing and were grateful for all practical household gifts. The sheets and towels have long gone as has tge china and most of the Pyrex)but I still have a load of stainless steel dishes (all the rage in the 1960s) and cutery and some of the now very dsted and mostly unused glasses (smoky, dimpled, tall & thin with low handle for jug -most impractical!) Luke another poster we had a single handwritten list which was sent on request to guests who crossed off what they were going to buy.
I remember all the presents,complete with gift cards, being on display on my mothers dining table gor everyone to view!
How different it is today! Presents ordered online from a store list and delivered to their home so you never actually see what youve bought. Or worse, requests for money towards the honeymoon as they live together and have everything they need already.

GrannyBear Thu 18-Jan-18 13:32:57

Did anyone else receive a Russel Hobbs stainless steel coffee percolator?! Also I remember lots of stainless steel dishes and Waterford glasses. Married 1968 in Ireland

pollyperkins Thu 18-Jan-18 13:51:31

To answer the original question, I forgot to add I tend to spend £30
-50 depending on how well i know the couple. More obviously for my own children.

Purpledaffodil Thu 18-Jan-18 14:20:40

Grannybear I had one of those percolators from a posh aunt! Probably my favourite present as the rest were on the Pyrex and cheeseboard theme, previously remembered. No Waterford glass sadly.
We had a handwritten list which was ignored by DH’s side. He was so embarrassed when he returned from a pre wedding visit with a Morris Minor full of gilt magazine racks, plastic pouffes and novelty cheese boards. ?

Gaggi3 Thu 18-Jan-18 14:35:49

Still have stainless steel meat dish and carvers, linen tablecloths, blankets and a set of bathroom scales that DH won't part with because they weigh light.
I wrote all the thank you letters, DH's sole contribution being a sheet of writing paper with 'Dear Aunty Hilda, Thank you for the lovely......' on it and then he ran out of steam.

Sheilasue Thu 18-Jan-18 14:42:06

Yes it was all Pyrex and pottery in my day too.
We have a great niece on h side of the family who was married in July we were asked in the evening but it was to far to go, I sent her an Argos voucher for £40. They were living together any way so don’t think they wanted much.
Harder to buy when they have been living together for a few years, so a voucher is fine I think.

inishowen Thu 18-Jan-18 14:58:54

We married in 1973 and received 6 canteens of cutlery, an ironing board, 2 identical alarm clocks, egg cups, £47 in cash, sheets and blankets, various sets of stainless steel teapots, coffee pot, sugar bowl, butter dish and tray. Stainless steel was very fashionable at the time.

VIOLETTE Thu 18-Jan-18 15:09:41

Six earthenware soup sets (!)...a Russel Hobbs stainless steel coffee percolator from my brother (subsequently sold by ex husband for money to gamble with !).Lots of stainless steel bowls etc ....set of blue sheets, asked by rich auntie to choose a dinner service, which we did, only to receive on from Woolies (was ok, it lasted a long time !). Second marriage didn't want any pressies ..but friend made the cake and others bought champagne for the reception (in our house !). Oddest thing I GAVE as a gift ...was asked the afternoon before a work colleague's wedding if we would like to go (posh hotel in Epping forest,) as all the reception was paid for ane one couple had a last minute crisis and couldn't go .....no list, too late, etc ...so I bought a nice bucket, a mop, several electric plugs and fuses (in those days !) a set of dish cloths, sponges wash ing up liquid, etc......) everyone thought it was hilarious, displayed amongst the cut glass, china and crystal !! Personally back when first married (1971) never heard of anyone asking for a washing machine, fridge, etc !

paperbackbutterfly Thu 18-Jan-18 15:19:14

We had some lovely gifts, most of which have been replaced years ago except for the pressure cooker my sister in law bought and I'm still using it 40 years later.

Daddima Thu 18-Jan-18 15:44:05

We had no list, but I remember my mother’s friend ( who was attending the wedding) asking if I’d prefer an iron and ironing board, set of pans, or canteen of cutlery. The pans lasted a long time!
We got about 4 stainless steel tea sets ( teapot, water jug, sugar & cream, and tray), and numerous Chance Glass dishes.

hulahoop Thu 18-Jan-18 16:17:13

We got 4 sets of cutlery one which we still have to use after 40+ years and a few sets of nylon sheets . I tend to spend about £30to £50 more for immediate family

Daisydoo2 Thu 18-Jan-18 16:29:07

1979... a pressure cooker from my Aunt together with a statement of this being the only wedding present she would give so I had better make the marriage work, oh the irony... I often felt I lived in that pressure cooker during our very tense 27 year marriage!

chicken Thu 18-Jan-18 16:34:55

Can't remember what we got as presents( it was 60 years ago) except a Royal Albert tea service, all roses and gilding which we hated and subsequently sold. For a not very close acquaintance who had nothing, I can remember making up a collection of items in a plastic washing up bowl, including dusters, dishmop, rubber gloves, clothes pegs, tin of polish and washing line !Apparently, according to her mother, she was delighted! I blush to remember it now.

Diggingdoris Thu 18-Jan-18 16:38:56

I can't remember who bought them for us in 1971 but I'm still using the Pyrex casserole dishes almost daily! I love them and would be lost without them!

GrandmaMoira Thu 18-Jan-18 16:55:06

I still have some of my wedding gifts - a carving tray, some Edinburgh crystal glasses and a canteen of viners cutlery. They are all used. I had a wedding list which circulated round family and friends and received towels, bedding and kitchenware (as far as I remember). My parents gave us lots of stuff as they were moving house at the same time - furniture, carpets, kitchenware, towels and anything else we were short of, as well as paying for the wedding.
The big difference nowadays is that couples already live together and have all the basics. None of my circle had left home before so we were starting from scratch.

Rosina Thu 18-Jan-18 18:27:03

I had a Russell Hobbs stainless steel coffee percolator Grannybear! It was a stylish rectangular shape, brushed steel, with a wooden knob on the lid. I don't know when they stopped making them. We had a Wedgwood coffee set with small cups, which sits packed in a box in our garage today; never used in almost fifty years. Good quality cutlery from a relative, still going strong and a stainless steel tea strainer and holder from a hard up friend which I use every day. (I still have the friend too)

tiggypiro Thu 18-Jan-18 18:36:35

I remember very similar presents you have all mentioned when I was married in 1970 and of course some are still in use today.
Did you also (as my mother insisted) display all the presents at the reception ?

Granarchist Thu 18-Jan-18 18:46:37

1974 - yes to the Russell Hobbs percolator - it sounded like it was burping when it was nearly done! 18 Royal Worcester casseroles and 72 ramekins. (Thank heaven John Lewis was happy to exchange for cash). Two presents still going - a Hoover Junior bought by my sister and another friend and a carving board and knive, fork, steel etc. We always think of the donors when we use them. 40+ yrs on.

mancgirl Thu 18-Jan-18 19:08:24

Married in 1971. Yes, stainless steel tea tray, butter dish, meat tray with lethal spikes and pyrex dishes. Pyrex was Chelsea design because I had collected a dinner set for my "bottom drawer" in this design. Three plates remain, you can just make out the design in a certain light. Candlewick bedspreads, one rose coloured the other yellow. M&S towels which lasted years. No luxury items as such, no fridge or washing machine. However, my parents gave us £50 for the plot deposit on a new build house which enabled us to buy our first home - cost? £3,750 for a big 3 bedroom semi! The foot on the ladder for our subsequent house purchases. Thanks mum and dad!

Maggiemaybe Thu 18-Jan-18 19:18:40

Happy memories! We displayed ours at our new home, tiggypiro - I remember guests coming to view them after the reception and before the evening do in our local pub. smile It was a serious business - our best man had to drive to pick up a cousin who'd bought us a suitcase, an hour before the wedding, so that it would be on display with everything else. We got bunkbeds from my parents and a fridge from the in-laws, lots of Silver Jubilee tea-towels, mugs, ashtrays, ornaments (it was 1977), some Denbyware (still in use), a Hornsea Pottery coffee set that I wish I'd kept, toast racks, a cheeseboard. We had a written list but very few asked for it. One item I remember putting on it was a trendy wicker laundry basket. A relative ticked that off and turned up on the wedding morning with a huge garish purple and pink floral plastic one, because she didn't think it decent for our smalls to be visible through the wickerwork. grin We still have it in the cellar, full of the DGS's footballs and frisbees.

threexnanny Thu 18-Jan-18 20:05:53

We haven't been invited to a wedding in ages so cannot answer the original question, but 40 + years on we are still using the stainless steel breadbin (similar available now), other stainless steel, pyrex, vases etc. we were given.
We had a wedding list but it was strictly only sent out on request not automatically inserted with the invite. I remember been given a set of pure cotton sheets which weighed a ton!

mancgirl Thu 18-Jan-18 20:40:01

Maggiemaybe How could I have forgotten the Hornsea "saffron" pottery dinner set? That was my best dinner set! Oh, gift wise, £50 or £100 for close family and friends.

harrigran Thu 18-Jan-18 22:58:20

I had a wedding list when I married in 1967, really just to let people know what kind of crockery I was collecting, and we received individual items. I got a lot of cookware and an ironing board but the largest gift was a vacuum cleaner from PIL.
Now I usually spend about £200 on a gift or vouchers but will not contribute cash to a honeymoon.

Rosiebee Thu 18-Jan-18 23:21:01

Before 2nd marriage 26 years ago, we said we didn't want presents as we were very happy and already trying to amalgamate 2 households into one. We taught at ajoining schools and were firmly told that presents would be coming our way regardless. So we decided to start a new dinner service thinking that it would give people a wide price range going from S and P pots to casserole dishes. I looked at lots of different ones until I found one that I really liked. When I turned it over I saw that it was called Windermere which is where my DH came from so that seemed to decide it. Most of the crockery has been used on an everyday basis since then, although we never did manage to use the soup tureen.

annsixty Thu 18-Jan-18 23:32:21

I know I have posted this before on a similar thread.
When my D's cousin in law was getting married more than 29 years ago, the most inexpensive item on their wedding list was a gravy boat, costing £97, my D's FiL was so disgusted he bought it and sent it from him and his 2 son's and their wives. He is very well off but he just didn't like the expectation.