Worried about my toddler grandson

He is still very young so I would try hard not to worry.
On the other hand you may get some help and reassurance if you contact the National Autistic Society or ask for some of their literature. Try:
www.autism.org.uk/#
They are usually very helpful.

As I said, he is very young. One of my DGSs was a very late talker and he used to line toys up very meticulously! I did research at the Institute of Psychiatry on Autism and had a very disabled Autistic cousin with other complications. My daughter and I, though not alarmed, were watching her little chap, who was quite an individual. However, said DGS is moving forward well now and appears to be making normal progress, albeit having a rather distinctive personality quite different from his brothers and cousins. It is very difficult to know whether behaviour indicates an enduring condition such as Autism when they are still as young as 20 months, but times have changed, and some Psychiatrists say one can make a diagnosis quite early, which helps with the child's future as behaviour modification games can start, such as making eye-contact. But I do understand your worries and how one cannot help looking at a child and wondering if something needs help when they are not speaking yet. Maybe learning a bit more about it might help, but do be careful not to see what you are looking for! It is so easy to do that, and all children play autistic-like games at times, especially when they are still under 2 years old. I agree that you have noticed several signs one would expect him to respond to which he does not, such as his name. There is no harm in asking for a reference for a specialist assessment. I hope that in time you will see him opening up, especially when he makes contact with more children as he gets older. If he is autistic then the future is not to be feared. So much more is understood now, and the children have a good education. I have to say, I really love autistic people! Imho they are very special.

I just wanted to say how moved I am by the really helpful common sense words of icanhandthemback and Lemongrove. Both of you have seen that terrible period when the little baby/toddler starts talking and then regresses and loses his words. It must be so painful to go over it again, yet you find time to respond to the needs of Grannyris and help her with her worries.
I find your words extremely helpful myself, even though I am not actually having this worry. We are still keeping an eye on the DGS I mentioned before, but it seems his father developed similarly and as he turned into a rather clever bloke things probably are ok. However, interestingly, the not so little (big for his age) young lad, like your DGSs, also has a penchant for climbing, begun practically before he could walk, and is so famous for it that when he was baptised at 2 years, the Rector said "Now X are you going to climb into the font or shall I pick you up?"
I was doing the research on Autism at the Inst. of Psychiatry a bit too long ago to have present-day knowledge of the health system. We had referrals from all over the country then. I had to do all the diagnostic investigations, using the various research-based questionnaires so as to make sure all the people in the study were in the right group. The mother usually did the family history and it was so painful to hear how these children had been such "good babies" then had started talking at about 13-15 months (I used times like birthdays of siblings and Christmas to link to memories and work out the age of the child,) and then, around 2, had stopped talking, apparently forgetting words he/she used to know.

I do know that there are Psychiatrists who are diagnosing Autism in very young infants now though. I need to try and get hold of one of my colleagues and ask them. The sooner the therapies, in the form of games, are introduced, the better.

I am a great believer in listening to the mother/parent/granny. You are right there on the spot. My daughter thought her firstborn could not see properly. She was told "New mums always worry". He was two months old when she told me this worry and that they were telling her she was being too fussy. I didn't even try and assess him there and then, I just told her to insist on a referral to a Paediatric Eye Specialist and if the Doctor said she was fussing, to say her mum, the Granny was insisting and blame me. The little baby had a huge pressure on his optic nerves, having had a terrible brain infection after birth, which I still feel was greatly mismanaged, having left my daughter in labour 2 days and said the baby's heart-rate was dangerous so many times we lost count, and then when she was fully dilated, calling a Code Blue and asking her to sign for a C-Section while she was going under the gas. They rushed the Section, so she could not deliver her next baby vaginally, and the baby was ingesting the fluids and was nearly dead. Their reluctance to do the hysterectomy earlier? Their figures for C-Sections were too high!
The baby's eyesight, once an appointment was achieved with a proper Consultant? He only had very slight peripheral vision. (I had worked that out before the appointment). He needed urgent treatment. He is now aged 11. He is almost blind.
So, if any of you are worried about a child, don't worry about your dignity or what they think of you. Scream, if you have to, for help. The child comes first.
Also remember, don't let yourself get too upset - keep the show going, it will be ok. ?

sorry - obviously second to last message, I meant "asking for a referral"
I'll blame the auto-spelling creacte. (Ha ha! beat it!!)

Grannyris Just before I go, I think you know this already but in case anyone else hasn't seen it; Try
www.helpguide.org/articles/autism-learning-disabilities/does-my-child-have-autism.htm

I was really impressed by the site you mention, Tillybelle but it seems that there are some inaccuracies in it according to the National Autism Organisation. For instance, I rang them in a panic after reading about the 18 months rewiring of the brain but I was told this was not the case. It seemed quite logical to me but I am not an expert. I was quite relieved because I started to have concerns earlier but didn't verbalise them so was horrified when I read that.
I have had experience of being told that I am just a fussy Mum so I had 3 children who suffered for months with milk and Soya intolerance until I saw the Paediatrician. Similarly, all 3 have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and I had to fight tooth and nail to get them diagnosed so other health professionals were able to take this into account when managing treatments for all the things that are problematic with a collagen disorder. It was only when Dr Google arrived that I was able to get a referral to a leading World Specialist in the condition who gave us the official diagnosis. Up until then, I was a fussy Mum. Gut instinct should not be totally ignored until a Specialist's opinion has been sought. I would also advise anybody with worries to keep a proper record of their concerns and observations. It is so much easier to explain your worries if they are well documented.

Seek and ye shall find.
I've no idea why people are so keen to attribute late learning or not achieving 'milestones' within differering time frames set by different 'professionals' in different countries, uo ADHD, ADD, 'the spectrum' etc. It seems that almost everyone has one or more relatives with either mental health issues or an acronym of one kind or another. Almost like a badge. I have never known anything like it in all my years on this earth, nor do I know anyone who has relatives with these problems.
It's worrying to think that children are being scrutinised in this way and being labelled without a true diagnosis.

* to, not uo.

It's a weird one really....are there more children with additional needs or are we just more on the ball?

The one that irritates me is the fake dyslexia, much loved by wealthy parents. Being unable to distinguish between there/their does not make you dyslexic.

Thank you tilly that’s one of the best things about GN, the advice and help.Sorry to hear about your DD and DGS what an awful time they had.
Yes, we are more on the ball now regards autism, but in the past children were often institutionalised which us why we didn’t really see them.
Yes, also,to almost every family having a member with some kind of mental health issue .....once you start talking to somebody you begin to see how common it actually is.
Having said ‘mental health’ it’s physical really, as the autistic brain is simply wired slightly differently.

GabriellaG, when you are in lots of pain or have a child who is vastly different from others, of course you are going to seek and you jolly well hope you'll find so you can explain it, manage it or even cure it.
Lots of children with ASD, ADHD were already labelled but as "badly behaved." In time we will no doubt be able to accurately define who has what as medical science moves on. Within our family there are several people who were always considered odd, had speech delay as children, etc and they were never diagnosed but they had very hard lives because they were misunderstood.
Some of the conditions like EDS (Hypermobility Type), which is the sort my kids have, is something that modern lifestyles have exacerbated so there has been a vast increase in the symptoms and incidence. However, it is a genetic condition and, once again, you can trace it back through the family. We're a genetic nightmare!
I think we have just become more knowledgeable as we have access to written material about medical problems. However, this does have its advantages, instead of just accepting that their collagen is defective, my boys have been able to use the right exercise to keep their joints in place, lessen their pain, etc. The generation before last just took to their beds and things just got worse. Labelling can also mean better management.

icanetcetc, I am sure she knows just as you say. But people don't always include everything in their first post. Why do you need to bring nasty words like "insulting" and "blaming" into an otherwise positive thread? It's quite obvious to most people that I was being sympathetic.

ReadyMeals, maybe because I was having a very bad day trying to deal with a mother with dementia who is making life very difficult, I spoke quite strongly. However, GrannyIris did say she saw the family regularly so I suspect she is aware of any family dynamics that might skew a child's development.

In the past children were just called naughty. My mother in law once told me DH had been an evil baby! Now I've lived with GS1's ASD for 12 years I understand much more about DH's behaviour! I also suspect that my mother in law was on the spectrum herself, she had learnt to appear normal but it always seemed like a facade.

You know what ....when I look back at my childhood i must have had a few syndromes, dyspraxia definitely, abusive home, poverty.
Somehow I dug deep.

But is that how you became oldbatty? ?

Indeed the battiness was formed in the early years.