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Age difference

(119 Posts)
Annaram1 Wed 06-Feb-19 11:13:44

I go to church irregularly. perhaps once or twice a month. Recently I noticed that a much younger man in a seat just across the aisle from me kept looking at me during the service and he also smiled in a friendly way. I pretended not to notice. The next time I went he did the same thing. I often go to the after service coffee which is held in the church hall. This time he came in and sat at my table and introduced himself. He is Italian and has recently moved to the area. He is tall and quite attractive, lovely dark greying hair, and good teeth. And a very sexy accent.
We had a good chat about all sorts of things. He hasn't asked me out but now I am a bit nervous that he will. I would not know what to say. He is at least 15 years younger than I am. What would others do in my situation?

ClareAB Wed 06-Feb-19 11:18:36

Go for it! smile

M0nica Wed 06-Feb-19 11:21:14

But if after a few dates, he asks whether you could lend him some money/facilitate some deal through your bank account, cut and run.

MaggieTulliver Wed 06-Feb-19 11:22:10

How old are you OP? Bear in mind he might be older than he looks! At the moment just relax and see what happens. Maybe he's just keen to make new friends. If he does ask you out I'd go and just have a nice time. If it's obvious he's interested in you, then I would lightheartedly bring up the age thing. Would you be bothered by an age gap?

Annaram1 Wed 06-Feb-19 12:08:08

Hi all, I am 77 and have been told I look a lot younger, still have my natural reddish blonde hair and all my own teeth, fairly good skin, but could do with losing a few pounds. He may be keen to make new friends but in that case why did he settle on me? At coffee I usually sit with the same 4 ladies of my own age and this time they did not come and sit with me but sat nearby and occasionally looked at me and the sexy Italian guy. I bet they had a good old gossip! Yes, if he does ask me out I will go and I hope it is only to the cinema or a nice restaurant. Not dancing, or anything sporty.

Don't worry, I will be on my guard!!! Don't know what my kids would think!.

Annaram1 Wed 06-Feb-19 12:09:57

I am not bothered by a small age gap but 15 years??

MissAdventure Wed 06-Feb-19 12:20:33

Well, if he asks you out for a coffee or lunch, it will be no different than if a younger female friend invited you.
You owe it to yourself to go! smile
I hope he does ask you.

Smiley4 Wed 06-Feb-19 12:43:20

So he’s what, about 60 ish?
If he asks go. Don’t give him any money as Monica said.
I know a few people where the lady is older by between 8 and 18 years. And they are happy.
I just found it a bit sad that you felt the need to describe your hair, your teeth, your shape, your skin. Maybe, just maybe, he thought you looked like a lovely, friendly, nice, person. Regardless of age or looks.
Maybe he’s just looking for a friend and you seemed approachable, warm and friendly.
Good luck whichever way it pans out 😊 x

MacCavity2 Wed 06-Feb-19 12:54:33

Annaraml how wonderful for you to be admired and possibly desired. Enjoy every moment and don’t worry about the gossips. Of course your feet are firmly on the ground. Have fun.

EllanVannin Wed 06-Feb-19 13:09:56

Strange meeting place ? Maybe it's because I'm a wary person. A restaurant I could have understood. Go carefully !

M0nica Wed 06-Feb-19 13:33:07

I think Smiley is right, He may well just be looking a for a friend and you were sitting alone and looked friendly.

Why do we always assume every male/female relationship has to be based on physical appearance and sexual desire?

Pippa000 Wed 06-Feb-19 14:59:58

I have a friend who is 60 and her husband of 15 years is just celebrating his 45th birthday, age is just a number!

bikergran Wed 06-Feb-19 15:12:37

My lovely dh was 20 yrs older than me . together over 40 yrs

Annaram1 Wed 06-Feb-19 16:53:50

EllanV I don't think church is a strange place to meet. My church even has a singles club. I have not used it as I think all the men at church know I am a widow and if they want to meet me they can always ask me after church.
Where do people meet their other halves anyway? I met my late husband at work. Previously I was briefly engaged to a young man working on a ship when I was a passenger. That didn't last long as he was arrested for stealing. He was lovely!
I never had many boyfriends, unfortunately, as I dashed into marriage much too early.
I don't know of any male/female friendships which are not based on physical appearance and sexual desire. Do you?

Atqui Wed 06-Feb-19 17:05:42

Next Sunday why not introduce him to your friends, and see if he is only interested in talking to you.

Newatthis Wed 06-Feb-19 17:08:17

Go for it but be careful about the money side of things. There are a lot of people out there who are not nice (not saying he's one of them though!)

Atqui Wed 06-Feb-19 17:09:04

If you do go out with him , how would you feel about an intimate relationship? Personally I wouldnt have the confidence , but you may be different.

Coconut Thu 07-Feb-19 09:50:19

Follow your own inner feelings, what have you got to lose ? I always feel that mentality is a lot more important than age. You may chat and find him totally not your type so you then have your answer, but if it all goes well .... life’s too short to not explore future happiness .. good luck.

Marianne1953 Thu 07-Feb-19 09:50:40

I expect he’s just being friendly. A man can just be a friend without having to date them.

Ramblingrose22 Thu 07-Feb-19 09:52:50

Annaram1 - he might be married back in Italy. Had you thought of that?

Sounds like a potential golddigger so watch out!

Pinkrinse Thu 07-Feb-19 09:54:48

Enjoy his company and don’t assume he is after anything but be cautious. Keep us posted we can then enjoy your young Italian vicariously ! Xx

GabriellaG54 Thu 07-Feb-19 09:57:21

Annaram1
I wouldn't worry about age. He hasn't asked how old you are has he, so he probably thinks you are similar ages especially as you beat you look younger.
Wow! Go for it but make sure to be in a place where there are lots of other people and do not go home alone in his car...not till you have some background on him.
The cinema isn't, IMO, a good place for a first date. You can't talk and get to know each other. He might think it's ok to put his hand on your knee in the dark or something a bit familiar for a first meeting.
Whatever happens, enjoy and keep safe (and do some background checks with his name and electoral register and 192 people finder, both free)
I met my OH on a dating site in 2013 and we're still happily a couple despite a 52/74 gap. I'm the oldie. grinflowers

BGrannie1 Thu 07-Feb-19 09:58:01

Do whatever you feel comfortable with. Age is simply a number and what does it matter if he is older or younger than you, not a bit in my book. Life is for living and enjoying, not wasting.

Have fun.

Minerva Thu 07-Feb-19 09:58:17

Just be careful. It isn’t only on the internet that people are targeted and then get taken for a ride and lose their savings. He will also know where you live.
Sorry if that sounds paranoid.

grannyactivist Thu 07-Feb-19 09:59:01

My husband and I met through attending the same church. He's ten years younger than me, fit, handsome and was considered to be quite a catch - and we've been very happily married for more than thirty years. I didn't anticipate that we would fall in love as we were simply good friends for a long time before that happened.