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Her birthday. A poem on estrangement.

(39 Posts)
Marelli Tue 14-May-19 11:01:43

''50 years on"

Held in my body for 9 short months
My lovely girl, my joy, my perfect girl.
My loving girl, my funny girl, my child.
She's 50 now, this child of mine
Not lost to me, nor I to her,
But quiet now, she's left my life
For reasons I can only guess.
Time strides along, I'm left apart.
My darling girl.
My heart.

Urmstongran Wed 15-May-19 09:07:01

What a beautiful poem Marelli it brought a tear to my eye. You expressed your longing so poignantly.

And gillybob I know that feeling so well, looking at my phone with a degree of anxiety ....

TwiceAsNice Wed 15-May-19 07:56:10

So sad and so heartfelt. I’m so sorry please take care of yourself. I have always written poetry especially when sad I hope it helps you

Marelli Wed 15-May-19 07:29:56

gillybob, we have that 6th sense, don't we? I do know that feeling so well.
ffinnochio, I was sitting in the garden in the early morning sunshine as I wrote my poem. The words just flowed. It means a lot that the words have touched others.
grannyactivist, I hope to goodness that what might happen doesn't happen. In the meantime, please take 'one day at a time'? It really is the only way, isn't it?
Sending love to you all for such kindness. ??

grannyactivist Tue 14-May-19 23:22:34

In three years time your poem could be mine marelli. sad (((hugs)))

ffinnochio Tue 14-May-19 23:08:01

Marelli. Such a tender poem and the line I am left apart captures so much. x

moggie57 Tue 14-May-19 23:07:55

big hug xxxxx

gillybob Tue 14-May-19 23:01:20

Such a lovely poem Marelli but so sad.

What can we do as mother’s? Sometimes I lie in bed and just wait ... as though I can sense something just isn’t right. I lie looking at the phone, willing it to ring but dreading that it might. Sometimes I am right and my worse fears become reality. Sometimes not .

We brought them into this world and we will always love them no matter what.

Marelli Tue 14-May-19 22:30:27

All of your comments have meant so much to me. So much understanding has shone through them all.
Thankyou so much. ?xx

Grannyben Tue 14-May-19 20:51:09

Gave !

Grannyben Tue 14-May-19 20:50:51

Although your daughter is not in contact with you, perhaps you are still in her thoughts today, the person who have her life. I do hope so

Sar53 Tue 14-May-19 20:41:40

Marelli beautiful words, so heartfelt. I feel for you I really do. flowersxx

Sara65 Tue 14-May-19 20:35:28

Bonji, we ‘tread on eggshells ‘ with one of our daughters as well, we are often left wondering what we’ve done, but not for long, as she’ll tell us eventually, in no uncertain terms!
But at least we are still altogether, despite our ups and downs, hope you can work something out Morelli

SparklyGrandma Tue 14-May-19 20:31:53

Bless you Marelli I too am estranged and live in acceptance that it now won’t change.

But we still love them and can wish them ?

bonji Tue 14-May-19 20:28:21

I don’t often post on Gransnet but read some of the posts every day and as mum to two adult daughters your post Marelli, just made me cry. My special thoughts just go out to you. Myself and DH sometimes feel we are ‘treading on eggshells’ with our daughters. We cope with this as so many parents seem to say the same but am so sorry for your situation. Your poem shows so much of how you are feeling that is it worth a try to send it to your daughter so she might appreciate your sadness. Kind thoughts to you.

Sara65 Tue 14-May-19 18:41:23

Feeling sad for you, isn’t it a good thing that we can’t see what the future has in store for us

annsixty Tue 14-May-19 18:30:51

Such deep sadness comes through.
So sorry the situation has arisen and hasn't been resolved. flowers

Bathsheba Tue 14-May-19 17:54:24

Marelli sad flowers

Marelli Tue 14-May-19 17:53:08

Anniebach.... ??xx

Anniebach Tue 14-May-19 17:47:10

Marelli you have hope x

BBbevan Tue 14-May-19 17:34:43

Oh, bless you Marelli xxxxx

Marelli Tue 14-May-19 17:29:59

The estrangement has been about 15 years with a break about halfway through when she became a grandma and I became a great-grandma. OK terms for about 3 years then it all kicked in again.
I have to accept the things I cannot change.....and just wait.
Thankyou all for your lovely posts. Xx

Ginny42 Tue 14-May-19 17:20:28

(((Marelli))) You clearly love your daughter very much but right now there are differences you alone cannot resolve. Your pain is very real. Be mindful of it, but be compassionate with yourself. Thank goodness you see your granddaughters so focus on loving them. Focus on what you have control of in your life. Acceptance is the way to go and who knows, she may come round sooner rather than later. xx

janeainsworth Tue 14-May-19 17:15:47

Thinking of you Marelli. Our children are always in our hearts, aren’t they, and those milestone birthdays are hard anyway. xx

Gonegirl Tue 14-May-19 17:08:15

That is the saddest thing I've read in a long time. Please reach out again. flowers

kittylester Tue 14-May-19 16:58:17

It's a big day, marelli, you are allowed to let go a bit.