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I Really Need Your Opinion.

(30 Posts)
Anniebach Mon 16-Mar-20 12:09:56

My next door neighbour has problems, I have been told drink
and drugs. I have only spoken to her once and have lived here
three years.
Last summer she knocked on my door, she had seen an ambulance at my house the day before, my spine had locked and I needed help to get off the sofa, needed the loo !

She said so many lies, talked about my darling daughter who died, it was really distressing.

Seems she has upset many in the Cul de Sac, they want her
moved from here. She has been moved twice !

Someone from the council called asking if I had problems with her, they gave everyone a log to fill in if she caused any
upset. I didn’t want to be involved, I don’t know what problems she has which causes her to have the addictions.She
has carers twice a day.

I have spoken here about not being able to leave my house. With the self isolation about to start I thought I would have
a garden bench on the front lawn. She sits out the front too.

She is verbally aggressive to the person living next door up to
her.

NanaandGrampy Mon 16-Mar-20 13:30:52

Sounds like she’s not the best neighbour to have Annie but I think I’ve missed what you want an opinion on?

Do you want to add a bit more?

Elegran Mon 16-Mar-20 13:45:10

Could you have a bit of fencing at right angles to the house, so that you and your bench are concealed from her? It could make it less draughty too.

Wear earphones as though you are listening to music or the radio, and have a book in your hand. If she speaks to you, you can look as though you don't hear her.

gillybob Mon 16-Mar-20 13:49:30

Good advice about wearing headphones Elegran . When my DH was in hospital this last time I took his headphones in so he could pretend to be listening to something as there were a lot of very loud/disruptive patients in his ward.

Good idea that you have a garden bench or maybe a comfy chair Anniebach. I think a bit of fresh air and sunshine might do you good and help lift your spirits too. You cannot let one abusive person to ruin your own life.

merlotgran Mon 16-Mar-20 13:50:48

Didn't you have a thread about this neighbour last year, Annie or am I muddling you up with another poster?

Anniebach Mon 16-Mar-20 13:54:04

In all honesty, i am cowardly, if she starts again as she did last
year I would be so distressed, I could report her but fear what
will happen to her, suppose I want help to ease my conscience , the neighbours are keeping logs of her behaviour

Can put up a fence

Anniebach Mon 16-Mar-20 13:55:45

Yes merlot it’s been easy to avoid her because I don’t go
out but thought I would this summer because of the self isolation, I am a wimp

Hetty58 Mon 16-Mar-20 13:56:01

I think I remember a post about her. I find it rather odd that you want to sit in the front garden - especially as she will be close by. It's too public, not private.

Why not set up your bench in the best spot in the back garden, nicely screened off from her?

NotSpaghetti Mon 16-Mar-20 13:56:25

Is there any way to sit out at the back instead?

Anniebach Mon 16-Mar-20 13:56:58

Can’t put up a fence

Anniebach Mon 16-Mar-20 13:58:41

Back garden fenced off, i won’t see a soul all summer , my granddaughter will have to stop visiting me

gillybob Mon 16-Mar-20 14:48:38

What about a windbreak Annie? Could you sit behind one as though it was to keep the draft off you?

grannyactivist Mon 16-Mar-20 14:51:07

gillybob I think that's an excellent idea. smile

Nonnie Mon 16-Mar-20 15:42:36

I don't know what to suggest, sounds like she is ill but that is not something you can help with. No one sets out to be an addict. Just showing sympathy, must be very difficult.

AGAA4 Mon 16-Mar-20 15:54:18

You have to look after yourself Annie. Don't be drawn into a discussion with her. Reading and headphones are a good idea and place yourself with your back to her garden if you can.

My great gran used to sit in her doorway to get fresh air and not as available to troublesome neighbours.

Anniebach Mon 16-Mar-20 16:00:50

Thank you all so much. I don’t want any contact with her but
can’t join the residents to have her moved , I have been told she did take an overdose a few years ago.

I will have a windbreak erected and sit just outside the front door, if she comes near I can go back into my bungalow ,
sorted. X

endlessstrife Mon 16-Mar-20 16:05:30

Annie, can I just ask, you say you’ve only spoken to her once. Was that when she called after seeing the ambulance? How does she know things about your daughter? I wouldn’t worry about what happens to her if you report her. You need to look after yourself. It sounds like your neighbours are on it anyway. Are you friendly/close with any of these? Sorry for the questions, and very sad to hear about your daughter 💐

Anniebach Mon 16-Mar-20 16:32:28

endlessstrife, this is a small market town, everyone knows
what goes on. She didn’t know my daughter but made up
such lies, even about the night my daughter died.

I know my next door but one neighbour to speak to on the
telephone. He has much trouble with her.

endlessstrife Mon 16-Mar-20 17:01:35

I see. Thank you for explaining. Your last post seems to suggest you’re probably sorted. I wish all the best for you over this difficult time🥰

NfkDumpling Mon 16-Mar-20 17:32:08

How about something like this Annie?https://www.shedstore.co.uk/4x2-shire-balsam-arbour

Grannyjay Mon 16-Mar-20 17:39:37

The council gave you a log to fill in but you don’t want to get involved. You already are by complaining. Your neighbours are affected by her behaviour and need your support to have something done. You either live with it as you cannot do anything to change her behaviour as she either needs professional help or been offered it but turned it down. You could always try and move somewhere else and leave your neighbours to cope because you don’t want to get involved. She will not change until she reaches rock bottom maybe but you either turn a blind eye and get on with it. I just hope that my neighbours would be more supportive in getting a aggressive person of my street. Sadly I’ve experienced nasty behaviour from an alcoholic and they are not to be trusted if they are aggressive. Those who want help I would be fully empathetic and help if I could.

Anniebach Mon 16-Mar-20 17:50:22

NfkDumpling I like it , can sit in it and not be bothered with
prickly heat

NfkDumpling Mon 16-Mar-20 21:50:23

smile It'll keep the draught out too, nice and cosy. I hope it's successful for you. xx

Anniebach Mon 16-Mar-20 22:13:27

It will be and I can see people coming in and out of the
Cul de Sac, hopefully get to know the people who live here.
Thank you ,I am grateful x

BlueBelle Mon 16-Mar-20 22:21:25

What a pretty little shelter Annie I think that would enhance you house and keep you well covered
Well spotted Norfolk