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Feeling a bit low 😢

(48 Posts)
phoenix Wed 29-Apr-20 17:27:59

Hello all, hope you are safe and well.

I usually manage to keep reasonably upbeat, but today is crap.

Today would have been DS2's 31st birthday, but sadly he hanged himself at the age of 19 in 2008.

A friend of his who shares the same birthday, and lives locally, always goes to the place where the ashes are buried and leaves flowers and drinks a beer in his memory smile

I was supposed to join him, and suppose I could, but I know that I would have wanted to hug him, and be hugged (yes, I know, same thing) but with social distancing, we couldnt.sad

I'm very fortunate that his friend stays in touch, and I love to hear about their family (they had a gorgeous baby girl a week ago, their third child) but it makes me wonder what DS2 would be doing if he was still here? Would he be married, have children?

He had a great female friend, T, and they always said if they got to this age and weren't married, then they may as well marry each other!I

Such a waste of the life of a warm, loving, talented and very funny person.

Oopsadaisy3 Wed 29-Apr-20 17:33:38

That’s so sad Phoenix and I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. All I can do is send you my best wishes and virtual (((()))) hugs.

Lucca Wed 29-Apr-20 17:40:09

That is terribly sad, I don’t know how you bear it, but how good you have the connection with your sons friend,

Ilovecheese Wed 29-Apr-20 17:41:29

I am so sorry Phoenix you always sound so positive and your posts are often funny and cheerful. You seem to be the sort of person who cheers other people up. I send my sympathy, though I know that is no help.

MissAdventure Wed 29-Apr-20 17:43:16

Even though I've lost my only child, I still struggle to know what to say, except that I understand the pain of those thoughts, phoenix.

I'm sorry today is bad one. flowers

cornergran Wed 29-Apr-20 17:43:58

I can’t imagine how hard the day has been phoenix, I’ve no words to make it any easier, wish I had. This wretched virus has caused so much extra pain for so many people. If I may I’ll send a hug with my love and some flowers. Be gentle with yourself.

TwiceAsNice Wed 29-Apr-20 17:45:41

My heart goes out to you Phoenix! My son died in childhood but he would have been 40 in February. I was extra sad this year because it felt like a milestone birthday that we would have had a party for. I too wondered many time’s what kind of life he would have had when I watched his sisters grow up. We have to learn to live with our loss but it’s very hard no matter how many years pass. Sending you a virtual hug.

phoenix Wed 29-Apr-20 17:47:03

Lucca there are no options, as others who have lost children will affirm, you don't "bear" it, you just keep going.

Yes, DS's friend is an absolute star! Even though it's what some would deem many years now, he is still there. Especially appreciated as he has a very new baby, but will still be going to the grave.

MissAdventure Wed 29-Apr-20 17:49:07

Your son must have been a brilliant friend, phoenix.

PamelaJ1 Wed 29-Apr-20 17:50:11

I’ve often enjoyed your posts and felt that you were a very upbeat positive person.
I hope that’s the way I would deal with such a heartbreaking event. You are to be respected.💔

Callistemon Wed 29-Apr-20 17:58:07

Your son must have been a wonderful young man to have had friends who still care so much.

GrannyLaine Wed 29-Apr-20 17:59:15

I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your son phoenix

52bright Wed 29-Apr-20 18:03:26

I am so sorry to hear about your son's death at such a young age Phoenix. Your heart must be so full of might have's … especially today. It is sad that the isolation of these strange days means that you cannot be with your son's dear friend. It can't help much I know, but fellow gransnetters feel for you and are thinking of you today. flowers

Madgran77 Wed 29-Apr-20 18:04:03

Phoenix flowers

Bridgeit Wed 29-Apr-20 18:06:46

I have been trying to put together some words of comfort in reply to you Phoenix, they all fell short, so can only send you virtual hugs & thoughts.

FarNorth Wed 29-Apr-20 18:11:10

Virtual hugs are all I can offer, Phoenix flowers

phoenix Wed 29-Apr-20 18:15:16

Thank you so much for all the posts, I hope you will forgive me for not acknowledging each one, but sending special good wishes to those who may also have lost a child, no matter at what age. thanks

Nortsat Wed 29-Apr-20 19:04:49

Phoenix I too am trying to think of something consoling to say to you, but my words are falling short, too.
Did not want to read and leave, so am simply sending sincere condolences and good thoughts. 💐

morethan2 Wed 29-Apr-20 19:07:31

I wish there were words, there aren’t. I’m so very sorry for your loss

May7 Wed 29-Apr-20 19:12:10

🌻not a good day for you Phoenix. Your in my thoughts

Anniebach Wed 29-Apr-20 19:19:25

I so understand Phoenix just over two years since my darling daughter took her life, I long for her.

Your son must have been a lovely person for a friend to lay
flowers for 12 years

merlotgran Wed 29-Apr-20 19:29:23

Thinking of you, phoenix.

crazyH Wed 29-Apr-20 19:39:06

Phoenix and Anniebach flowers flowers

Doodle Wed 29-Apr-20 19:39:09

phoenix I am so sorry for your loss. All I can say is that at least he had a good friend. For reasons I don’t want to go into, I would be comforted by the thought that your son had you and a good friend. That counts for a lot, doesn’t lessen your grief but it does count x

Doodle Wed 29-Apr-20 19:40:08

phoenix and annie flowers and for all those who have lost a child.