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getting a social life

(70 Posts)
HowVeryDareYou Thu 02-Dec-21 16:31:23

I was quite ill earlier in the year, having had a stroke. I'm fine now but not fit enough to go to work just yet (I'm 62). Although I'm married and have a family and friends, they all go to work. My days are so lonely at times. I've been to a day centre (!) today, and although everyone was friendly and welcoming and I had a lovely lunch, joined in with some quizzes, I was the youngest there. Any suggestions on where to go to meet people of a similar age? I started Aqua Aerobics one day a week, and see a friend another day.

Grammaretto Thu 02-Dec-21 16:49:43

I joined U3A a year or 2 ago when I thought I was old enough. You are supposed to be over 55 or retired.
I am in my early 70s
www.u3a.org.uk/
There are many interest groups within the organisation so it doesn't matter whether you just want to go for interesting walks or learn Greek there will be something you can join.

My MiL goes to a day centre but she really is old.
Looks like you have made a start with the Aqua fit and seeing a friend.
It depends where you live but there will be art and craft classes too and if there aren't and that's what you want then start one.

Volunteer if you are fit enough. Citizens Advice? something where you don't have to be too physically fit.

Aveline Thu 02-Dec-21 16:52:46

Sounds like you actually enjoyed the day centre. Does it matter how old potential friends are? Some of my friends and 15-20 years older than me if I think about it - so I don't! If the company is good the age doesn't matter.

Sago Thu 02-Dec-21 17:07:43

I have not worked for nearly 2 years due to the pandemic.

I do however cherish my days, I can more or less do exactly as I please for the first time in my life.

I go to the gym, see friends occasionally but predominantly I’m at home pottering.

It’s bliss

luluaugust Thu 02-Dec-21 17:51:32

I agree about the day centre, a group I go to is all ages, so perhaps stick with that. If you are in a town there should be other Adult Education classes, WEA and of course U3A. some WI's run in the afternoon. Only problem are they all running at present.

GreyKnitter Thu 02-Dec-21 17:53:32

I’ve made some great friends via a local choir. Is there some kind of similar interest group that you could find and join?

HowVeryDareYou Thu 02-Dec-21 18:58:43

I did enjoy the day centre today, and the people were very friendly. I suppose that I feel I haven't got a purpose in life - I've always worked (for many years, in the care sector, I was also Manager of a couple of day centres for 2 years) and will have to go back to work in some capacity (no idea what) as I've got 4 years until I get a state pension, never paid into a private or work pension as I didn't earn enough/only worked 30 hours a week.

I'm signing up for voluntary work, ringing elderly/housebound people, so hopefully, that will begin next week. I just feel quite lost and quite tearful most of the time (keep being told that's common after a stroke).

HowVeryDareYou Thu 02-Dec-21 19:04:50

Grammaretto Thanks for the link. I've emailed 2 local branches.

Peasblossom Thu 02-Dec-21 19:17:29

Volunteer to hear reading in a School? Not too strenuous and a lot of fun.

You get roped in for other stuff as well.

You might even find work as a Classroom Assistant. 🙂

HowVeryDareYou Thu 02-Dec-21 19:44:06

Peasblossom I used to do that when my sons were in primary school. I did actually apply (a local school had placed an advert in a local magazine), I've already got a relevant Enhanced Disclosure. They eventually replied, wanted me to go on the day I do Aqua Aerobics, so I declined but might well do it in the new year

lemsip Thu 02-Dec-21 23:39:25

would you be allowed into schools and listen to children read under the current circunstances I wonder?

BigBertha1 Fri 03-Dec-21 07:37:40

I am finding the WI very friendly and with lots if sub groups like darts, lunch, book club, walking, crafting.

HowVeryDareYou Fri 03-Dec-21 10:42:43

lemsip In primary schools, yes, apparently.

HowVeryDareYou Fri 03-Dec-21 10:43:14

BigBertha1 I'll look to see if there's a group locally

HowVeryDareYou Fri 03-Dec-21 10:45:48

W.I. groups nearby all meet in the evenings - it's the days I need to fill. I think once I can look for a job, perhaps in the spring, things will be better

Aveline Fri 03-Dec-21 13:10:22

Several WIs I do talks for have changed to daytime meetings as members not so keen in going out at night.

silverlining48 Fri 03-Dec-21 15:57:23

Councils often run walking fir health groups which would fit the need fir daytime activity, meeting people while improving health at the same time.

sazz1 Sat 04-Dec-21 10:43:23

I joined the U3A and also paid for a college course to learn a foreign language. The college cancelled the course and refunded me, due to lack of interest. The 2 U3A groups I tried to join didn't happen either. One was cancelled due to a room not being available, and the other was for experienced language speakers and was full. Still trying hope you have better luck than me OP.

Modompodom Sat 04-Dec-21 10:47:21

I found local social/coffee groups through Facebook, and also met a neighbour through the Nextdoor forum. There is also Meetup, but I am not sure how much their groups have got back up and running since Covid. My friend volunteers at a local community theatre and enjoys that. Do you enjoy any crafts? I belong to a couple of knitting/crochet groups, and they are very enjoyable and we spend a lot of time chatting and putting the world to rights. The members are mixed ages, usually 50s upwards.

Humbertbear Sat 04-Dec-21 10:56:21

When I retired a joined an art class and an art group and found friends through them. Do plug away at U3A - they have lots of groups. Our local library has a knit and knitter session. also have you thought of joining a book group or even starting one?

Jackiest Sat 04-Dec-21 11:00:34

Meetup.com are lots of completely independent social groups. Around here they have all started up and I had a really pleasant walk and meal with one of them the other day. Don't know what is available in your area but it is definitely worth looking at.

Madwoman11 Sat 04-Dec-21 11:03:46

Search on Facebook for "Friendship groups near me", also join your local meetup group. Usually a variety of things to do such as coffee mornings, lunches etc

Jess20 Sat 04-Dec-21 11:07:16

I was also going to say meetup groups. Things like 'walking for health' are usually good fun. Try googling things like pottery or philosophy classes, charity shop or refugee support or foodbank volunteering, or whatever floats your boat, things that are often happening in the daytime

Spec1alk Sat 04-Dec-21 11:10:08

Often the WI groups who have evening meetings have sub groups that meet during the day.

nipsmum Sat 04-Dec-21 11:10:56

When I was your age I joined WRVS and helped out delivering lunches for the housebound or helped to serve and wash dishes for the day centre lunch clubs. I used to take people to hospital appointments too also dentists DRS and out for shopping or just to the local park cafe for a cup of tea. I met lots of lovely people who needed some company too.