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Selfish Adult Children AND Grandchildren

(12 Posts)
Fflaurie Mon 02-Nov-20 07:30:33

Long One coming up - apologies in advance.
We have one daughter and one granddaughter. We have bailed them out of problems both physically and financially all their lives - yes : spoilt. DD is married (2nd marriage)to a 'Walter Mitty' who makes up stories about his life that no one (except she) believes, he is rude and dismissive of laws, and possesses no respect to anyone. His son is a druggie who lives in his bedroom, does nothing but SiL pays for his drugs. They don't have anything to do with us, their choice. DD works very hard, but has never got time for us, we get on her nerves. DGD dropped out college and cares for no one except herself. She works and earns good money. Neither girl buy us anything for birthdays or send cards. They never phone or come and see us (before lockdown) unless they want something, and usually we comply. DH is retired, but last night DGD phoned asking DH to drive her 50 miles into London as she didn't want to go by train. He said no, she hung up on him because for the first time she didn't get what she wanted. He is devastated. He had to go into London himself a few weeks ago and it cost £150 for a taxi there and back because he shouldn't travel on public transport. No offers of help from them. He is hurt and I am angry because they know the situation and he shouldn't venture far. I still work full time as I got caught by the government and cannot get my pension for another 2 years. Your opinions please.

Esspee Mon 02-Nov-20 07:38:38

Well done to your husband. Time for you to start saying no too.

Pinkarolina Mon 02-Nov-20 07:40:43

I think you should post this under Relationships rather than Product Surveys.

OceanMama Mon 02-Nov-20 07:43:56

Your daughter proved that your husband was right to say no. Good for him.

Hetty58 Mon 02-Nov-20 07:45:10

It's nigh time to stop letting them upset you.

You've done your job as parents and now it's your time (to enjoy) so just let them get on with it.

It will do them good to be independent anyway. You should save any spare money for your own retirement. Follow their example and be selfish for a change!

Gingster Mon 02-Nov-20 07:47:39

Yes time to say NO! You have nothing to lose as you don’t see them and have no meaningful or loving relationship with them . Cut the strings.

FannyCornforth Mon 02-Nov-20 07:55:14

I've asked for your thread to be moved.
I'm sure that you will get lots of good advice.

Hetty58 Mon 02-Nov-20 08:05:40

Cut the strings but stay in touch. Things may change in the future.

sodapop Mon 02-Nov-20 08:29:56

I agree with Hetty58 time to stop enabling this selfish behaviour. You have done more than enough for your family, time to look after yourselves now and absolutely no need to feel guilty about that. Keep the lines of communication open.

Fflaurie Mon 02-Nov-20 08:44:36

How do I move this post to relationships, I am a total idiot and have put it under Products. Thanks for your support and advice so far. xx

Elegran Mon 02-Nov-20 08:59:15

Fflaurie Report your own opening post to Gransnet (using the "report" button at the top of it) and in the text box that appears, tell them what you have done. They will move it for you.

FannyCornforth Mon 02-Nov-20 09:08:36

Op - I've already asked them to move it don't worry!
It will probably take some time though, as I imagine that GNHQ may be a tad busy this morning...