what's the worst personal comment you have received from a person ?

Many years ago I had a boyfriend who told me that I walked like a well-bred cart horse – and he meant it as a compliment.

carol that was very quick thinking good for her.

Don't you wish you could have a ready put-down for moments like that tosh?

A group of female probation officers stood up in our staff room to go to another meeting room, and one of the male (and sexist) probation officers asked me 'what are you girlies talking about today, then?' Our new student quickly retorted ' we're discussing sexism amongst men who have become complacent about their abilities in the workplace!'

We all filed out and, when safely behind the meeting room door, burst into fits of giggles.

Gosh ..some Mother's comments are so very hurtful. Nothing I ever did was good enough for my mother and a lot of comments hurt but weren't as devastating as some above.

When I was teaching, Home Economics Teachers were obviously classed as 'second class citizens ' to some 'more academic' members of staff.
Our head of English used to buy a 'Scotsman' newspaper on his way to school (early), read it and put it on the Staffroom table.
One morning before 'the bell' I picked up his paper and started to read the front page.
In front of everyone he said ''O look at Mrs M pretending to be intelligent, reading the Scotsman !!''
I couldn't think of a reply at the time as I was so hurt and just wanted to cry....

I think the worst I've ever heard was when I was staying with a friend and her family. Her mother was talking to me about the family and she turned to her youngest daughter,at that time was about fifty, and said" she was a twin and the wrong twin died". Completely devastating.

It is very difficult to go through life not inadvertently saying something that devastates someone as people react so differently to the same comment.

A few years ago, one of my uncles, told me about his first day at work as a a very junior civil servant and he recounted two comments made by his manager on the first day that had utterly crushed and demoralised him. I could only look at him blankly because if those comments had been made to me I would have seen them as the sort of encouraging platitudes a manager might use to inspire confidence in a youngster on their first day at work.

I used to work with a skinny woman who could eat her way through a tray of chocolate ecalirs and announce 'oh, I'm so fat now!' Yes, if you got a magnifying glass you could probably detect a temporary 1 mm on her stomach. Makes you sick!

The remark made to me constantly over the years, always by stick thin women
is "I'm enormous I must lose weight " said whilst tapping their flat tummies!!!
Needless to say I am far from stick thin!

I meant shtumm (just looked it up)

I confess to being tactless along the lines of grannyactivist's mother. A few years ago I was driving somewhere with DD in the car and something made me say 'of course, you were an accident'. DD was borne 9 months and 1 day after we were married and she knows this so I thought it would have been obvious. However, quite recently I found that all this time she has been thinking she was an unwanted pregnancy (as she put it) which was not the case at all. Unexpected but not unwanted as her father said to her. I still feel regret and somewhat ashamed that I blurted such a thing out. My mother said quite a few tactless/hurtful things to me but I think I'll let her off the hook and keep schtum.

Sad when mothers say mean and insensitive things to their children. My lovely grandmother used to describe my aunt as "the ugly duckling" because she was the daughter without curly hair.
My DIL's grandad, when she was going through a chubby phase in her early teens used to say "WHAT weight are you now?" every time he saw her.
People years ago did not really see children as sensitive creatures who's self esteem could be damaged by things you said in front of them or to them. They were just doing what their parents did before them.

My mother had my sister in 1951, brother in 1952, me in 1953 and another brother in 1955. A few years ago I remarked how tough that must have been for her and she immediately responded with, 'Yes, but we didn't have abortions in those days or you wouldn't have been born.' I didn't take it personally as it was a simple statement of fact, but it's a sobering thought isn't it?

Many thanks all of you. Most of the time she doesn't feature much in my thoughts, but just once in a while it bugs me, then I get cross with myself because I know I'm better than that. I'm going to think thoughts for the rest of the day

Absolutely her loss, nanamacatj. It seems the best thing you have done is to prove her wrong.

nanamacatj not only was she wrong and a poor judge of her own child, but it seems she has not amounted to much as a consequence of her behaviour. As green says - her loss!

Definitely her loss, nanamacatj. How on earth could she say that to you.

My mum told me many times when I was growing up that I would never amount to anything but her best put-down was that I should have been drowned at birth!! My lovely SIL only found out about this a few years ago and now refuses to see her. My mum and I only have contact with each other when forced ie funerals etc. Her loss I think

Reading back over this thread reminded me of the time, many years ago when I was slimmer than I am now, and I visited a flat in an office building that had not been used for ages. I wore my usual business clothes which I considered reasonably smart and took a look round. Coming down from the flat, dusting down my hands, the administrator whose skirt was a pelmet with hair several shades of the rainbow, said 'Yes, I'm afraid it's pretty dusty up there but thank goodness you didn't wear decent clothes'!!!!

My Mum told me that, when I put the effort in, I brushed up quite well!! Grrrrrrr!

'You could be quite attractive if you tried' - and that came from my mother, bless her.

I think she was probably trying to get even. I absolutely floored her when I was small when, all dressed up for some outing, she came to kiss us children good bye before going out and I said ' Mummy, you look AWFUL, just like something out of Vogue'

my wife did that to a local radio presenter ,who then told all her listeners that was why she was starting a diet lol

Sad to hear about put-downs from parents.
My niece when accompanying me to the dentist (when she was about 5) asked loudly in the waiting room why my teeth were so yellow....
A friend of mine, meeting her DH2 relatives for the first time was greeted by one of his aunts with the remark "Oh yes, you're the one without a degree aren't you ..."
When I used to do a lot of training with managers etc we used to ask them to fill in feedback sheets. They were rarely directly critical but they did sometimes damn with faint praise e.g.
What did you like best about the day?
"The fact that you both wore skirts" (oh, so you were looking up our skirts all day were you...)
and my favourite
"Dough balls with chocolate sauce" - he was referring to the profiteroles at lunch time.

Possibly at the aunt's funeral?

After my mother's funeral while family got together, my 90 year old aunt who had not seen most of her nieces for forty years or so, asked one of them 'which one are you.' 'Christine' replied my cousin. 'Hell' said Aunty.

I must add that my cousin is an attractive, well dressed 64 year old! It's a story that we will probably laugh about for years, especially at funerals.

How about another one; Grandson in our room the other morning, had a lovely snuggle and a cuppa in bed. GS gets up and says "I should say one thing to you - BINGO WINGS!!!" I had to laugh though lol