what's the worst personal comment you have received from a person ?

I was out with my Dad when I was about 14 and a colleague of his remarked 'oh this must be your son' ! I know I had short hair but I didn't look like a boy, I was mortified.

when i was young i met an old lady who said to me "you look like a big strong lass, you'll never be out of work"

Many years ago I had one of those loose, tossled perms that you just had to wash, run your fingers through with a bit of mousse and let it dry normally. A colleague from work asked if I had had a perm to which I replied (feeling quite pleased she had noticed) "yes". She continued on to say she had a perm like that once and complained it hadn't taken so perhaps I should ask for my money back without a hint of humour just bagfuls of sarcasim.... Best of buddies? I don't think so!

After lessons (I presume at school) on how to politely address old people our twin grandsons took to calling all four grandparents 'the elderlies'. Apparently they are still doing it to the other grandparents. Lucky we live so far away or I would have strangled them by now.

But being called "that old woman" by one of them did nothing for my ego and my daughter thought and called it "just a joke".

Being proudly non sporty now, at 11 by the games mistress when I scored a goal in hockey I was told by the games mistress "It shows you are not entirely hopeless" I still see it as a compliment.

grandmaagain..I feel your pain; a real 'ouch' moment just reading it

After I'd left my last school prizegiving with a load of prizes, one of my old primary school teachers came up to me and said: 'Well, I'd never have expected that of you!' What a backhander that was!

constance - amazing how people judge with no knowledge of us isn't it? I remember being at a children's' party with my very pretty 4-year old daughter. She was standing at the top of the slide when one of the grandma's said isn't she just the prettiest little girl - I proudly say yes, and she's my daughter......."oh is she really, well I would never have guessed it!" came the response! Being very young and lacking in confidence I skulked away, I was mortified!! That wouldn't happen now and, yes, my daughter is still beautiful in every possible way......

Poppa,

crimson's comment "when I go to the cinema, theatre etc the [oh so young] person selling the tickets asks if we are on any 'benefits', meaning are we pensioners. I know they're being helpful but I wince every time it happens" reminds me of a story my Mum told me recently. Here in Oz your driver's licence is renewed for 10 years at a time, but you can opt for anything from one year upwards. Mum and one of her mates were at motor rego renewing the mate's licence and the young guy asked if she really wanted 10 years worth, and perhaps she might just want 2 or 3 years. The mate got haughty and said no, she wanted the full 10 years thank you very much! They went off for a coffee and to meet another friend and told the tale of this pretentious young whippersnapper from motor rego and how dare he suggest she'd just want a shorter period. The penny finally dropped when the friend asked my 89 year old Mum's 94 year old mate "So do you think you might still be driving when you're 104 then Kath?"

When my eldest daughter was at school I was working as features editor for our local evening newspaper.
To my daughters, this somehow translated into me standing on street corners shouting out the day's headlines!
However, when the daughter of one stay-at-home mum made some disparaging remark about my career I (and, frankly, with the junior understanding of my work who could blame her?) my Charlotte's reaction was "Well, at least she's got a job!" All of which put my fine career into proper perspective.

Hi jogginggirl, I used to get asked if all my children had the same father, even though they looked like I'd cloned them and they had the same distinctive colour hair that wasn't the same as mine. I was only asked that because I was open about never having married him.

thank you greenmossgiel she also told me that they were considering adopting a child before my younger brother was born.*because my granparents were spoiling me so much I was becoming horrible" I was about 3 at the time!

When my eldest was in her pram, people used to say things like "What a beautiful baby, does she take after her father?"
She's still gorgeous now!

Once, many years ago - I was sitting in the doctor's surgery with young son and daughter - both of very different hair and skin colour........I was asked by a fellow patient - do they have the same father..............? Bad enough, but then into the doctor's room and he asked me if I had adopted them.......... I'm sure I could claim some post traumatic something-or-other if it was said to me now.........!!

Oh, grandmaagain, I was just thinking what a lovely thing for your mother to say to you when you were 7. At least it got you through all those years without feeling awkward about wearing your specs. Then she let you down with a crash...I would have felt just the same as you, I think. How can you follow that? However, I'm sure she was mistaken! You'll have worn your glasses with aplomb - and looked lovely!

when I was 7 I had my first pair of spectacles, I nervously asked my mother " do I look alright" to which she replied " you look beautiful" i proudly have worn glasses from that day! just very recently she told me in front of my family that it had been "the biggest lie of my life" I know I am too old now to be upset but I am!!

When we were about to board a plane in Japan many years ago in the North where there weren't many Europeans [my excuse] the flight attendant asked if I was pregnant - well, more of a mime really. I don't know who was the most embarrassed her or me. I was certainly not fat at the time but I admit I was certainly weightier than the tiny Japanese ladies.

My granddaughter told her Mum "When I grow up I want to be a nobody like you". My daughter is a stay at home Mum!

Absentgrana - pity that you did not know about or use Bio-Oil. It is a bit expensive but absolutely the tops at preventing post-surgery scars or at least at making them less visible.

My 5'9" Size 8 daughter gave birth to twins and to say that she was huge does not even go near describing her and her bum spread and dropped. I never thought that her bum would ever be the same but it is perfect now and she does not have even one stretch mark after using Bio-Oil which just sinks into the skin.

I am sure that Johnson's Baby Oil would be just as good and save a lot of money.

PS Communal changing rooms? What the hell are they? There are always single changing rooms in shops as well (aimed at disabled people I think) and I always insist on one of these. Displaying my body is not a problem. It is looking at all those other not so toned or sheer fat ones!

Many thanks too, Gally. I have been meaning to figure out how those pesky smilies worked.

Don't worry about your post-natal figure comment. It is not at all rare. My husband was about to ask a neighbour when it was due but luckily noticed a baby in the back of the car! Then the other day I mentioned a new member at the gym and was sure that she was there to do the ever more popular pre-natal exercises. When I mentioned her to the receptionist (who is pregnant), I discovered just how wrong one can be. Never make assumptions.

I've always been shy too, shysal. Though I am publicly quite outspoken and outgoing, on a person-to-person level, I find it hard to get close to people probably because of a lifelong (and usually unexpressed) fear of rejection, for reasons I won't go into at the moment.

Thanks for the supportive comments.
em I shall think about your suggestion.
baggy My mother always put me down, as yours did, which probably accounts for my low self esteem

shysal here on GN you don't in any way come over as a shy 'nothing' but as a very pleasant personality whose comments I've enjoyed. Why don't you leave the SHY concept behind you and re-invent yourself on GN with a new and more confident identity? How about changing your user name as a staement both to us and to yourself?

When we lived in Wensleydale a rather snobby lady asked where we lived. When I told her she said oh those little houses how funny! I took great pleasure in cutting her dead after that - didnt do me much good all the rest of the village sucked up to her - glad I dont live there any more. Sychophants