Hello all, I've popped over from mumsnet and wondered if you could share some advice/wisdom... apologies in advance as this may be long.
I had my daughter almost 2years ago, I always thought that MIL and I had a decent relationship, I'd go as far as to say I loved her (perhaps why what she said/did hurt me so much). After my DD was born she changed almost completely. We asked them to wait for me to have a shower etc when we got home from the hospital and we would call them to come to meet her as I was discharged 6hrs after birth, they ignored this and turned up straight away. I asked her to call before visiting after she barged straight in a couple of times unannounced, once finding me in my under wear a week post birth she went bonkers at this suggestion told everyone that I was forcing her to make an appointment to see her grandchild, despite the fact it was DP who had the conversation with her. She decided that if she had to call first she would rather not come at all (totally disproportionate). She then started texting DP saying we had spoiled her being a granny and making demands to have DD overnight/on her own- she was completely self-centered with no consideration as to our feelings/wishes. I said no, she was welcome to come to ours as long as she called first. Things went rapidly down hill, she said some really nasty things both to me and about me to other people. That she wished DP had never met me, I was the worst thing that ever happened to him, called me a liar about various things where DP knows I was telling the truth, swore/shouted etc etc
After a particularly scathing letter from her about a year ago outlining all my failings including leaving clothes on DPs bedroom floor when he still lived with them 8 yeards ago DP cut off all contact (she really scraped the barrell of every negative thing she could say about me), I haven't seen her for about 1.5yrs.
In the last few months shes decided she's sorry. She wants us all to brush it under the carpet and play happy families. DP has met with her a few times to discuss and I can tell he wants his Mum back in his life. I think I need to do it for him but I've no idea how. I wish when we asked her to call she just say 'ok, no problem' like my own mum did, she said so many horrible hurtful things about me that the thought of being in a room with her never mind handing my daughter over to her makes me feel sick. How do I get over the hurt and the hate and the anxiety??
Thank you for any help you can offer x
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