Online dating or Not?

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Ggggrrrrrr!!

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Don't pay the fees every month. I used to pay one month out of three. That gave enough time to start to contact people and exchange emails. Once you've made contact you don't need the site.

Oh I forgot to say....I set up an email address just for the dating site and I didn't use my real name. Once I got friendly with someone then I would tell them. No one bothered. It makes sense as it helps with your safety and your main email address isn't compromised if you want to ban someone.

Shop around the sites too. Look for one that fits your needs. You can look at the sites for free. You only have to pay if you wan to contact someone. I'm a BBW so I joined Big Cupid. There are some for over fifties but most give you an age range to choose from anyway.

Go for it. Have fun and if romance arises that's a bonus.

I think you should go for it. You have clearly given it some thought and have nothing to lose if you are careful. Only meet in a public place, make sure someone knows where you are and get them to call you about an hour into the meeting on some pretext. You can always pretend it is an urgent call which gives you an excuse to leave right away.

If the relationship is going to work it will lose nothing from taking it slowly.

I know a couple who met via the Internet when they were in their late 30s. Decided they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together and got married after less than a year. They now have 2 lovely children and seem to have a good marriage.

Go for it but take care.

Was a complete waste of money.all they all seemed to like was walking and football. Resigned. Poorer but wiser!

When staying with my son I witnessed his shy friend, in his 30s, using internet dating and trying to find a girlfriend. We are talking v shy. Worked in a hospital in a role where he met LOTS of women.
He met and married someone who was also wanting to settle down and have kids.
One of the funny moments was when he spotted my son's NLP therapist on a site. She painted a completely intimidatingly positive picture of herself (well she would, wouldn't she) and wanted someone else who was just like her: good looking, highly successful, completely sorted out psychologically etc. etc. Doubt whether such a man existed on the planet, anywhere.

I had a set of criteria for my 'ideal' man and decided I wouldn't settle for anything less. I know it sounds cynical but I'd done the real world love thing and it took me years to escape from an abusive control freak so I was very careful about falling into that trap again.

My list included not a drinker, not a gambler and must love me for who I am not for what he thinks he could change me into. After fitting my criteria there was one last test.......could I imagine his underpants going round in the washing machine with my knickers. He was the only man I could imagine that happening with.

I met quite a number of men through the internet, one way of another, and I agree, safety is important. But if you feel confident that you can weed out the charmers and sickos, and feel comfortable meeting someone knowing it may not work out, it's not so bad. I've met my fair share of weirdos but I survived it . And I never agreed to meet anyone I felt uneasy about after chatting with them. A lot depends on your ability to "read" people. I would stress that meeting in a public place is important, however long you've been chatting in advance, and let someone know where you're going, just in case. Not that I did, but then I'm something of a rebel.
I had a couple of long term relationships, neither of which led to anything permanent, but that's ok, I wasn't really looking for that anyway. Then I met a lovely man in Second Life, a real soul mate, and we've been communicating there and in Skype for five and a half years. Given my health issues, frankly it's as much as I can cope with now. I don't regret any of my previous adventures, I'm just not up to it any more.

Harrrigran - is that all?

I would be very sceptical and certainly not raise my hopes!! A friend who is a very attractive not-quite 60 has tried and many blokes are incredibly picky not to say fickle- they sound great online, or on the phone then stand you up, or else they have a very good reason for being single at this stage in their life. Do you want to look after an older man? Are you attracted by older men? Do you have what it takes to attract a younger man? She says they always want someone younger than themselves, slim GSOH etc both of which she is but there are too many women out there looking for a man so the men can take their pick - or not if they so choose. Another friend met her present husband in a singles walking club - not specifically match making, but not "couples". They are very happy. Good luck! Personally I'd settle for independence, a couple of DVDs and a bottle of and time with my good (female) friends.

I think it could be a minefield. A lady of a certain age, if she is widowed, could be relatively well off and some men could see that as a chance to acquire some of it. You do read about these con men with lavish lifestyles funded by women.
I am not sure I would ever want another man, permanently, in the house. I would probably hire a handyman and a driver to do the mundane things that bore me.

g'day Galen IMO it's very easy to lie on dating sites, after all it's only down to the 'joiner' to give/show true info...and some folks aren't very honest and put on deceptive photos and/or lie about their age/height/education, etc, daft really because they'll only end up looking very silly at the end of the day when they go to meet someone who totally blanks them, because they look nothing like their photo or description. Maybe in this age of 'Skype' a lot of the this can be eliminated but then again, I'm not too sure if using Skype and showing your full identity to a total stranger is a safe idea?

I've just joined an over 60s! They're all under 60?

A woman I know who met someone through internet dating has had to obtain a restraining order to prevent him from harrassing her when she tried to end the relationship. He still hasn't given up and her family is very worried for her safety.

Be very careful.

As everyone has said really, be careful know the dangers but it could work, why not.

My ds met his wife on a dating site,although I don't know why either of them needed to, and didn't soop meet Mr soop through one?

Wondering about it myself

I believe there's a few sites 'out there' that are specifically for folk over 50, though I've heard that it can be very disheartening joining as a lot of the 50+ men are looking for nubile/young/slim/intelligent/Helen Mirren look-alikies (which of course we all are, even if they are carrying a double beer gut/no hair/teeth, looking every bit like 80+ when putting their ages at 40ish, or worse, a b/w photo of an obviously much younger version of themselves.
It's hard making new friends when our work life has finished and friends seem to come in packs of two. I think you should just 'go for it', and I wish you all the luck in the world with your new adventure dogs4

I met my lovely husband through online dating.

There are nutters out there just as there are in the real world you just have to be on your guard. The advantage is that you can block anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable. When/If you decide to meet someone make sure it is in a very public place and remember that even if you've been talking to the person for a while he's still technically a stranger.

Having given you the warnings I have to say that internet dating is incredible fun. You get to talk to all sorts of people and not only did I meet my husband but I also made some wonderful friends.

We can do this doggy!

A friend of my daughter's has just been persuaded to join an online dating site. She has a very high powered job, lives with her mum, and doesn't go out socialising, so opportunities for her to meet ANY new people are severely restricted. She's savvy enough to know how to manage meetings safely and even if she has to get through a few frogs before she meets a good 'un it will be worth it.
I say give it a go - but be sensible.

Around here there is a supper club for singles. It is not necessarily intended to help you find a partner but meet other people (of both genders) for friendship. Having said that, I know a couple of people who have met potential partners either there or as a result of friendships made there.

Another thing you could consider is joining one of the groups around your local theatre or museum. Our local theatre has a group that goes to dress rehearsals, meets the cast etc.

Maybe you would be best to look at things that interest you and see where that leads. Keep us posted.

It is certainly a great deal more common now and I guess we all know people who have met their partners this way. But, as others have pointed out, anything online (including gransnet!) can potentially be dangerous. You would need to find an agency that you felt confident with and investigate their safeguards against the unscrupulous or just plain sick.

My friend used a dating agency many years ago (not online - too long ago!) and she did eventually meet her OH. But believe you me there were plenty of frogs to kiss along the way - and one of them was exceedingly odd - I will not shock you by telling you what he bragged about doing in his lunch hour!

If it were me I think I would prefer a small local agency.

Lots of luck with this project.