getting married again - having to take my first wedding ring off

What a happy outcome, willsandco. Time will fly by until April 12th. All the very best to you and your new OH.

Many congratulations and all good wishes for a happy future together with your new man.

I can see that taking this ring off has huge emotional significance for you and hopefully you can discuss this with the new man and go together to have it altered at a jewellers to fit your right hand ring finger. I think involving him is important and would give you both a good start to your new relationship.

You both have things and people to let go of at the same time as embarking on a new phase of your lives and that letting go needs to be a shared expeerience in order to get things off on the right foot.

Lots and lots of good luck and happiness to you both.

Problem solved! I have taken my old wedding ring off and it is in the jewellers. It is not straightforward as the ring consist of gold leaves intertwined but the jeweller is going to make it bigger so it fits on my right hand. So, I have one ring finger waiting for a new ring by April 12th 2014. How wonderful it all is! Once again, thank you for all your advice, much appreciated! x

I think I might just have solved the problem. My younger daughter is staying for the week. She had a look at the ring and, hey presto, she noticed that the leaf design is made of separate leaves so there are tiny holes (I can remember pastry used to get stuck inside it when I used to bake for the children when they were young!!) So we are going to look for a really lovely golden chain and thread it through the holes. It will then hang well on the chain, be far more secure and look good as well around my neck. Hurrah! Just shows what we ladies can do when we get together!

Ooh, Margaret X, that sounds interesting. I am going to call into the jewellers tomorrow. I have really enjoyed this discussion. It has been so good of you all to contribute. Will keep you posted.

I own a gold ring with a Art Nouveau leaf design set on it with a pearl in the centre. I bought it at a Collectors & Antiques Fair twenty years ago. It looks like a wedding ring and I often wondered about the decoration which was surely added later.
Now I think I was a wedding ring altered into a dress ring and probably worn during a second marriage.

willsandco I would not give my old wedding ring away because I know my daughter will inherit anyway. My daughter often makes demands on me in that way and I think I should or I aught to do what she asks. I still think that you should wait until you are absolutely sure that you want to do anything. In relation to buying our wedding ring all those years ago, I did exactly the same as you and saw it in a second hand jewellers and paid the deposit for him to collect it later. I can't remember who paid but I remember when my now hubby decided we were getting married he came around town with me, a very different experience

willsandco I love reading your posts.

Yes you are right, I will go and consult with a jeweller. Trouble is that it isnt a normal ring, it is interlocking gold leaves which is more problematic than a simple one. I think you are right, that is the best option. I am worried about a chain and I cant just put it in a jewellery box. My younger daughter, pragmatic and not particularly sentimental, is staying with me this week and she has said she wants my wedding ring because she lived all her life within the love that her Dad and I had for each other - and the ring is testament to that. How lovely is that? When you think about it, I espied this ring in an old antique jewellers in Leeds in 1971 and put a deposit on it. My husband to be said he would pay when the balance was settled. Did he heck? He never paid for that ring at all! All part of the memory, isnt it?

A good jeweller should be able to enlarge it for you, and you can then wear it on your right hand forever..... a better bet I think, than on a chain, which can be awkward with the wrong necklines, or showing through. On your right hand is quite common, I think, for re-marriages after loss, and is rather a lovely way to carry old memories through into this new part of your life.

Hopefully your fiance is buying you a nice engagement ring to 'fill the indentation'

As Winnie the Pooh would say:

"What does Crustimoney Proseedcake mean?" said Pooh. "For I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words Bother me."

"It means the Thing to Do." (Owl)

Where "correct" = customary.

Nothing else. As I said before, there are no "shoulds", no rights, no wrongs.

I always thought the ^ Correct ^ place to wear a wedding ring is the left hand finger next to the small finger .

hence the the term "The ring finger".

Dear willsandco I remarried in 2007 after being with my first husband up to his death after having had 30 years together. I spent 3 years alone and never thought I would meet anyone else but of course found an equally lovely man to whom I am now married. I found it very difficult to remove my wedding ring and did so 1 year after his death and now wear it on the other hand, I had to have it made a little bigger as that hand of course is different from the other. Why do we feel that we have to leave the past that has been so important.
It feels right on the other hand.
Eventually you might feel that you don't have to wear it at all.
Sometimes it is just too hard to let go of the past but when it feels right you will stop wearing it.
Ask yourself what your previous husband would have wanted you to do that was what I did.
Congratulations on your new love

I don't wear my wedding ring either, as I prefer silver jewellery,which in fact I wore before I was married.,I have a lovely ring which I had for silver anniversary which I wear on my left hand. I agree that you should wear both the rings on your wedding finger if they are both important. Wearing the first one on a chain could be difficult with other jewellery. Lots of women wear two or three rings on the same finger. he could always wear his first one too which might make you feel better.

nonnasusie what a wonderful way to carry your memories around with you.

A little while after my 1st husband died I had my my late mothers and my own wedding rings made into one and wore it on my right hand and still do after 5 years of marriage with DH 2.

willsandco congratulations, wishing you all the best for a wonderful future. Take it off, wear the other with pride and put the old one on a chain round your neck. My ring doesn't fit both hands either, my right knuckle is bigger .

bags and glamma I don't wear a wedding ring either ... never really have. It's in my bedside drawer. I sometimes wear rings on different fingers, depends what mood I'm in, my favourite is a hand beaten sterling silver ring I paid about £20 for years ago.

willsandco how lovely that you're getting married, warmest wishes to both of you for your new life.

As an aside - when I moved to the UK from South Africa in my early fifties (13 years ago), husband and I arrived with 2 suitcases each having given all our stuff away, very liberating. There was an informal settlement (a.k.a. squatter camp) across the road from us, and I will never forget the delight of the people who lived in shacks and had very little carrying off our stuff (we put it out on the verge for the taking). Now 13 years later, we have accumulated stuff again. It's just stuff. I have things of sentimental value, but they fit into one small suitcase. Some of my favourite things I gave to family, and now when I go back for a visit, I also "visit" my treasures.

What about wearing both together on your left hand? The two loves of your life.
Good luck and much happiness to you both, I'm

A good Jewellers might be able to set it as a brooch for you with a pin behind it or as a pendant.good luck in your new life

Bags you are one of the very few people who I have come across who like myself do not wear a wedding ring,mine and my engagement ring are in my jewellery box and not been worn in a long time,I am of the opinion also that I do not need a ring to say I am married or love mr.glamma any the less.
All my very best wishes to you willsandco all your memories can move with you and be kept in that special place in your heart.

I meant, wear your new wedding ring on your right hand and leave the old one where it is. You want to wear your old ring and wearing it is not unfair to anyone, so just do it. It's the getting married that is the contract, not what jewellery you choose to wear.

I don't wear a wedding ring. That doesn't mean I love my husband any less; it just means I don't like wearing rings. You like wearing your old ring because of happy memories, so wear it.

All the best .

Your new ring will fit on the other hand. There is no obligation to wear a wedding ring on any particular finger. In some places the right hand is the norm.

When mine (ring not hand!) had to be cut off before surgery, I had it mended and then wore it on the right hand because that was less bony at the knuckle. It has never gone back onto the left hand, but on my left middle finger I wear my late husband's gold signet ring.

Your past life and marriage do not vanish because you have been lucky enough to find a second partner. No need to hide away the evidence of them.

the ring wont fit my right hand - I tried it yesterday. I will have to speak to t'other half about it! I just really, really love this ring - it is quite individual, gold consisting of several gold leaves so I could never wear an engagement ring with it....and the sentiment, of course. I am moving in with him cos his house is bigger and I seem to be sacrificing so much of my other life, giving things away, selling stuff..... It just shows you how much things mean to you, I suppose. But it is a new relationship and I must be fair to him.