Stern granny

Well, I am on Grandma duty next week, and will be setting off north on Tuesday with a bag full of things to do and ideas for games. But lovely as my grandchildren are they are like all normal children, sometimes they push their luck and just as their parents are firm with them when they do so, so am I.

Not exactly, but occassionally DGS1(aged almost 7) rings up to 'discuss' things with his pa!

I have been rung and asked to calm an 18 month old who woke up to find she had left Grandma's without saying goodbye. A quick "night-night" and a blown kiss and peace was restored.

I'm sorry to say that I am a complete pushover with all three of my grandchildren - they are SO lovely, much nicer than my own children!(only joking!!) my 7 year old grandson is full of charm and knows just the right way to persuade me into his way of thinking! younger granddaughter is quite a serious 11 year old who I have enormous fun playing games, walking, cooking and having 'chats' with! Eldest granddaughter is 14 and asks me my opinion of all sorts of things, helps me with things I'm getting 'dim' at,(most things!) and is just a dear. Oh they're lovely, I couldn't be strict if I tried!

On my wall is a very good portrait of me, drawn by my DGD. My mouth is open and out of it comes a bubble with one word in it 'No'.

It is not that I spend all my time being negative with DGC but if they are too opportune, when they have been told that grandma has read three books to them and needs a break, or if the young Viking has been holding his axe at my throat for 20 minutes and I am beginning to find that enough is enough. I tell them enough is enough and if they keep nagging say 'No' clearly and firmly. It is understood.

Well not exactly but my DD knows that DGS1 is a little angel at mine so the other day when he was playing up at home she rang me in despair to tell me about his stroppiness. However he overheard her telling me & said "No don't tell Gran" & burst into tears.
He obviously didn't want me to know he's not always an angel, as if I didn't already know that

Sorry ga, I had not realised the circumstances. Good mother - daughter work then.

Just been skyped by daughter who was relaxed and laughing about the earlier situation and thankful for the support. Apparently in his lordships opinion we're both too bossy and like biker I'm now 'granny bossypants'!
(Actually he's just like his mother was at the same age!)

I didn't realise your daughters circumstances either ga. What a very sore time for you and your daughter and of course, when my own daughter went through a very stressful time I gave her every support I could.

Hope things become less stressful soon. I know we feel it keenly for our own and would do whatever it takes at the time to ease their troubles.

That's understandable, ga. I didn't know your daughter's circumstances, and of course she would call on you for support - what a team!

After my daughter was widowed we co-parented the baby (now four); not something we planned, but it naturally evolved that way. In the last two years I have eased back into a more traditional, though very hands-on role, but when stressful situations arise we tend to slip back into our previous default position. My grandson adores me and I treat him exactly the same as I did my own children. My daughter is always very patient, but at the moment they're in a very stressful situation and I think that today she just felt in need of support.

If you resort to saying "Wait till your father gets home" you have lost the battle before you start. That is a total admission that you have no control.
I think I might end up being a bit firmer than my daughter is though.

That's lovely Nankate.

We were on holiday with the grandchildren and I offered to read the eldest GS one of his books at bedtime he (2 and a half years old) rather rudely said he didn't want me. I walked straight out of the bedroom and left him with his 'adored' grandad who through one of his furry animals explained how hurtful he had been to me. Just before he was about to get into bed he marched out of his bedroom announcing he needed to speak to Nan.

I was taken aback to see him standing there and he said 'sorry Nanny I was very rude to you'. My heart just melted we had a big hug and he then took himself off to bed.

A lesson learned.

You have to be joking they walk all over me. I'm such a softy. Their parents are bewildered saying I was a very strict mother.

ginny I never used the 'wait till your Father gets home'. Not fair on Father who was not present plus just home from work. Also felt DD's had to respect my judgement when dealing with bad behaviour.

Oh dear, what a sad situation. I wonder if you'd talked it through with your daughter, she'd have relaxed a bit, and discussed how tough she's finding it, whether you could have avoided the "stern talking to".

No, I'm stern when needed face to face but they're not wheeling me in to sort the kids out. One of my sons says I was usually fair when they were young, but there was a bit of frog-marching at times. I thought they hadn't noticed!

No, and I wouldn't want to be. If DGS behaved badly when he is was with me , I would correct him and tell him the error of his ways. Then have a cuddle. Seems a bit like the old 'Wait till your Father gets home'.

I have no stern talking left in me, DD's used it all up . Thankfully, GD's listen to their Mummy who has inherited her Mother's approach.

lol yes..well! I am in GS bad books! apparently I'm bossy!! (prob because I made him sit at table to eat his tea)! where all good little boys should eat their tea

No! DD knows it would be no good asking me.

No, and I'm glad!