Back in the day when I was beginning to wonder why girls wore different clothes to me, courtship followed a well defined path.
Starting at around age fourteen boys progressed through an average of three girl friends,one after the other.
The first hook- up was a dare I sneak an arm round her affair, confined to a little light smooching with no feely- feely sort of arrangement.
The second was a furtive is she really going to allow me to do this? grope in the back row of the cinema episode, with worrying references to that terrifying marriage thing, a bit too much meeting the parents, followed swiftly by a broken hearted parting of the ways.
The third was serious. A Life changing can't get enough of each other, much late night fumblings on the sofa business.
Ending with an engagement ring, much discussion of babies – principally by her, with a don't quite believe this is happening acquiescence from him, a church wedding with prawn cocktails and a drunken uncle mangling obscene jokes ,then a full lifetime of marriage.
Divorce was a matter for those immoral film star people, desertion an unforgivable scandal, living together without a wedding simply unimaginable Men went to work, women stayed at home, cleaned the house, raised babies, made sure his dinner was on the table when he got home.
And that was it.
I have a strong impression things are rather different nowadays.Though I've not much more than hearsay evidence to rely on.
So far as I can judge the modern miss is just as happy – perhaps more happy – to be asked to move in with a feller as she once would have been by a formal marriage proposal
And that a wedding day is something to anticipate for its Big Day atmosphere than as the forerunner to a shared lifetime.
In fact a shared lifetime of mutual love, future building and babies, once in the forefront of most girl's dreams (not necessarily of the mans) is now something scarcely considered. With both parties entering into the arrangement we used to term 'shacking up'in the clear anticipation that it would only have a limited life.
And the girl, far from plunging eagerly into a lifetime of washing hubby;'s pants expecting to keep her job – increasingly a career equal to that of the man – keep her own residence if at all fiancially possible,indeed keep her own fully independant lifestyle altogether.
As for babies- well, someday maybe. But certainly not soon..
So what of the future? Is longtime co-habitation, with or without the marriage formality , on the verge of disappearing altogether? Except for the handful of exceptions to prove the rule of course.
And those babies, when they do finally appear - what of them? Presumably mother will in the main be the carer.As well as the provider.
But not necessarily. Mother love is not automatic, as I know to my personal cost.
So will we see an expansion of orphanages to cater for the unwanted – those dumped by mum herself because coping with a full time career, housework and motherhood is proving too much, or because the next partner to happen along wants to make a fresh start?
Such tragedies are happening already of course. But maybe we will see a vast expansion Maybe the state will have to provide everything that father once did.
While the dismal present day attempts to winkle out paternity pay is dropped in favour of us all paying more taxes.
