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INSTALLING A HUSBAND

(18 Posts)
grannyactivist Fri 09-May-14 14:19:31

Deeda is it this one?
www.steinhaus-net.de/witze/man_and_woman.html

Ariadne Fri 09-May-14 10:26:38

grin

Penstemmon Thu 08-May-14 22:20:04

grin

Deedaa Thu 08-May-14 22:13:07

My daughter used to have a wonderful one about the chemical composition of woman. I must see if she can find it again.

jeanie99 Thu 08-May-14 18:53:10

I remember this one from years ago it's very funny and clever.

POGS Mon 31-Mar-14 20:21:03

B----r.

My 1.0 has defaulted to Grumpy Silence 2.5/7.0/ &6.1, happy days. grin

rockgran Mon 31-Mar-14 17:41:51

I remember when this originally started as an "uninstall girlfriend upgrade" written from the man's point of view but I love this female version.

Here is an excerpt from the man's version.

"Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities"

Love it.

lucyinthesky Mon 31-Mar-14 16:33:09

Excellent thread! esp for those of us who are technophobes grin

Judthepud2 Mon 31-Mar-14 16:29:14

LMAO!! Brilliant! Thanks for that! Made my day. grin

Aka Mon 31-Mar-14 12:13:20

Beware installing first baby 1.0 as this can cause all operating systems, especially Sleep 7.1, to crash.

Nonu Mon 31-Mar-14 12:02:01

Quite hilarious !!

:-)

Charleygirl Mon 31-Mar-14 11:21:44

Excellent.

I have found in the past that Mother in Law turned out to be a particularly nasty virus and was difficult to remove from the system.

ninathenana Mon 31-Mar-14 11:13:24

Love it !!

Elegran Mon 31-Mar-14 11:10:54

Or she could always uninstall it and move on to Boyfriend 6.0. It is available online and off, on many versions, some of them more popular than others. A little time spent browsing what is offered should clarify which version she prefers. One advantage is the immediate uninstallation of Mother-In-Law 1.0.

Boyfriend 6.0 may, however, prove more troublesome and expensive in the long run.

Soutra Mon 31-Mar-14 11:08:52

Wish I had known this years ago grin

DebnCreme Mon 31-Mar-14 11:04:46

Brilliant. I love it! flowers and thanks.

janeainsworth Mon 31-Mar-14 10:42:24

Haha!
I thought this was another spam and was about to press the report button.
Thank you Singles grin

SinglesAdvice Mon 31-Mar-14 09:42:21

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as : NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1 Al so Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!