cut off from my family and Grandchildren

To angie8051 . Angie that is a long way from Hull - did you originate from Hull . You sound lonely to say the least , I fortunately am not in that situation but I am 84 now and lost my wife about three years ago , I do not see much of my Grandchildren so do feel I know how you must feel . I do not know that I am able to offer help or advice but would be happy to converse by E.Mail with you once in a while if that would help .I do not wish this message to be misunderstood , I am not looking for any kind of relationship but felt if I could help you with possibly a corresponding type of contact it may help .
Kind regards
Terry .

angie Perhaps it would help you to look on the Am I being unreasonable forum, the thread - cut out of their lives 3 thread. You may find some advice and comfort there from people going through the same anguish.[

Hull?

I agree with KatyK, have a look at the Cut out of their Lives thread, where I'm sure you'll find support from others in a similar situation.

You will get so much support on that paricular thread, angie. Please stay with us.

Many Thanks ladies - I will check out the thread

Angie. Do you mean you are in the UK and they are 2,000 miles away or visa versa. Either way, it's not far. If it were me I would be on a plane and turn up and say: right, let's get this sorted.

Thanks Petra - I would normally say I agree - but this has actually been going on for 3 years - off and on - off and on - and my last visit has put me back 3 years. Not that easy to say to these people ' lets get this sorted' it's not how they are - I believe they prefer ' the row' to things being sorted - they have to be ' in control'.

There is a long history in my DIL's family of people being cut off from one another for long periods - and then they just ' come back together' - as if it never happened. !!! - they, however, are related and it's their established family code for behaviour. -

Before now, twice, I have been the subject of really, really un provoked hysterical behaviour from my DIL.
My S has a demanding business, and needs he and her Mother on side to keep things going, so he hides his head in the sand.

Also, if I rock the boat my daughter , who is in UK, is in danger of being ' punished' - ostracised for my actions, which therefore creates greater distress all round.

These people are bullies, and my usual way with bullies is to not let them get away with it, however in this case, I simply know from experience that any action on my part results in greater damage. - I know I have to be strong, wait, and hope - but it's sooo very hard.

Hi Angie.
I know how you feel. I was in that position for 2yrs. with my daughter and grandchildren. It broke my heart.
Email me if you want to chat.

Hello Angie, [HUGS], I know exactly how you are feeling. I went through the same thing when my 21 year old son at Uni met a 30 year old teacher who wanted a child. My lovely but gullible son was persuaded to never contact me in any way, and this went on for almost a year, breaking my heart, crying once in bed, and crying on waking up. However, I was determined to win through. I started reading a lot of (laymans) psychology books on how to deal with this and followed their advice, which was simple. Keep your door open to them by dropping little communications without asking for anything, particularly any communications in return, without accusing them of anything, blaming them, or being mad at them. Just send things like birthday cards etc, a sort of very very slow drip-drip. It is important,that if and when they start melting and ready to discuss whatever went wrong, they know that you are still there and caring. If you get back to me I can always let you have the titles of the books I've been reading. My son eventually came back to me and apologised for his behaviour. Don't give up. My heart is with you.

I'm so sorry to hear of your trouble. My sister is currently estranged from her son after a row blew up over nothing. She was not invited to his wedding which was heartbreaking.
The advice from Sulis sounds very good, and I hope you will take something from that. My fingers are crossed for you. Don't give up.

Oh gosh...you poor lady...please stay strong ...my thoughts are with you too. As the last person said, a slow drip of non committal friendly messages/contacts may at least help you feel that you are doing all that you can to keep the lines open...all good wishes to you .

Good advice above. Lots of commiserations - how hard this must be for you.

Hello. I have just joined. I have the same issue. My son has completely cut off from me and my family and is not letting me see my grand-daughter. I was previously having her all weekend as her mum works at weekends. Now I have no communication at all. My son just threatens me if I try and do anything. It's like a living nightmare, so awful to see your child turn into a monster and bully you. Any advise would be most welcome. Thanks

Rabbits sorry to hear this. Have a look on the cut out of their lives thread under the Am I Being Unreasonable forum. You will find useful help and support there.

My heart goes out to all you lady's who have no contact with your children grand children and families I cannot imagine what it would be like.

HUGS to all.

I've booked a number of flights recently with different airlines on-line and you have to pay by card before you can choose your seats. These were 3 months ahead of flight departures.
I don't see a way of choosing seats on-line before you pay for the tickets unless you go thru an agent but then you may have a service charge on top of flight cost.
I remember last year for the four of us I paid £75 return just for seats with Thomas Cook for a holiday to Turkey.
If you book well in advance I can't see you having a problem getting the seats you want unless it's perhaps around Christmas time.

I have booked long haul flights with our local Thomas Cook and their price was the same as the on-line prices. They also booked our seats including connecting flights, outward and return, at no cost. We were flying economy. Perhaps there would have been a charge is we were looking for better seating although still in the economy section.

Am I bring dim?

If so, so am I.

I too am Spartacus Soutra and Versavisa

Perhaps someone can enlighten us?

Sorry, I was trying to say that if cut off from DGC and deciding to go and visit family and sort it out, then booking a flight and wanting to be sure of booked seating, can be easier via the like of Thos Cook who don't necessarily charge extra to book the seats for you. And you can usually get away with paying just a deposit until nearer the flight date, and it works out often cheaper then internet.

I'm sorry..... have I got confused, or said something inappropriate...