sad day

That is so sad Seasider.

Thanks Jingle. Just feel so helpless but I know she has to make her own decisions. .

We are always here if you want to unload

Thanks Galen both my best friends are traveling abroad at the moment so not been able chat to them as I would normally.DP is as disappointed as I am though he is trying hard to be supportive.

Dear Seasider.

I used to read various threads w hen I started GN but I never thought their topic would apply to me me and mine and was an observer..

Then the bolt out of the blue happened and before I knew it I was as big a part of the thoughts, fears, concerns and worries as other GN's who had children going through separation or divorce.

My heart goes out to you, look at other threads that many of us have engaged with for not only advice but understanding of the sadness you are going through. The latest thread to perhaps look at is on 'Other Subjects'. 'How do I Help My Daughter When Her Marriage Breaks Up'.

Keep your strength up for your family.

Thanks Pogs .I will read the other threads. As you say we never expect this to happen!

Thinking of you.

Just read your story on the other thread POGS. Isn't it difficult. I think you always want to make things perfect for your children however old they are but things don't always work out .

Maybe all is not lost, seasider. One of our daughters separated from her husband (much loved SIL) They were apart for a year but are now re-united and much happier.

I know how sad you are feeling.

Seasider

It's the grandchildren isn't it.

We love them so much it is practically unbearable to even have to think of the future let alone have to live with it. They are so innocent in it all and yet they have to be part of all the problems. No matter how much we try to distance them from the problem they inevitably will get sucked into the mix.

All I can say is my grand daughter has appeared to be pretty bomb proof, she is 8. I know she picks up on 'everything' that is said and done but as long as everybody put's the children first and fingers crossed try hard to make it as unacrimonious as possible, hard to I know, you can only hope they cope better than you perhaps think they will.

I have had many problems with the SIL but it has been better to keep contact for all our sakes and I am sure your comment when you said you will miss your SIL also will mean you possibly can work things out 'reasonably' harmoniously, if that's the right term to use under the circumstances.

Little sleep for you for a while hey.

seasides I really empathise with your sadness. Seven years ago, my daughter separated from her husband, my DGS was not quite a year old. It felt like a bereavement at the time. My DD went through a lot of heart ache but , like you we supported her wholeheartedly. DGS is now 8years old now, & she has come out of the separation & divorce , recently remarried & and is very happy. So please take heart, with time , you & your DD & her boys will be happy again. All best wishes.

So sad seasider but as Merlot said maybe all is not lost. Last year we were in a similar situation. DD said she had 'had enough' of SIL and they were splitting up. We were devastated for all of them and so worried for our granddaughter. Our DD was asking us for advice re solicitors etc. I asked her if she was totally sure and she said 'yes, there is no going back'. I asked if we would ever see our SIL again (we get on well and have known him for about 20 years). She said ' I don't now'. Then they sat down and talked all their problems through and the split didn't happen.

seasider So sad to read your post and how sad you are feeling but can I just add that 3 years ago I walked down this path with my DD and now 3 years later things are very much more on an even keel again regarding OH,he also had very little input with the children when he lived in the family home but now he see's the children 2/3 times a week and they are very well ajusted and have a much closer relationship with him,he calls here sometimes to pick up or drop off if DD working and things are quite normal again for the little ones.I also learnt from GN never to give opinions and keep my thoughts to myself.

Sorry to read your news Seasider, I hope things progress as smoothly as can be possible for all of you

So sorry, seasider, I do hope that it can be resolved, or handled gently by them. As ever, you are with people who will walk beside you, here on GN. x

Seasider commiserations from me also. I have been there and done that as they say and like Glamma have learned to keep my opinions very firmly as my own.

My heart goes out to you Seasider. It is even more upsetting when you are fond of your child's partner and especially when children are involved,but if it's not working, it's better this way than a lifetime of regrets.

Happened to one of our DD's too, but a few years down the line she is happier than she ever was. The difference is, we knew she was doing the right thing, and there were no children.I'm sure you will support your daughter in her hard decision to leave, and give as many cuddles/ help as you can to all of them.

It's as difficult as seeing your DD staying in a relationship that you can see isn't working for her, seasider She'll probably be able to explain more as the weeks go by. Like others have said, a few years down the line and hopefully she'll be settled and happy about making this tough decision.

Well we moved all her things today and the little house is quite cosy. SIL refusing to go home until she has finally moved out tomorrow . I know he is hurt and angry but I hope he will soon see the children. Your comments have made me feel so much better . Thank you all x

seasider how sad for you but I feel you are doing the right thing in just being there. Maybe a few hard time to come though.

I fear my own daughter will be doing the opposite which makes me too as I'm sure it will all end in tears.

seasider I feel for you, it is an awful situation to be in. I was older than my ex and she walked out on me although I was very active. All you can do is offer what support you can to your daughter but you don't need to sever your relationship with your son in law.