SBHGoldemom13 You are definitely not alone. I have a DD who treats me like dirt and has done for the last 16 years, like Sugarpufffairy says.
She is due to get married in September and I (and my son) are not attending. I was told a year ago that I was to play no part in this wedding, nor my son. She was having 3 bridesmaids, all chosen by then and he was having 2 best men, again chosen. So things were in the process of being sorted even 18 months in advance but no mother-of-the-bride or brother of the bride to be involved. As her only parent to have brought her up for the last 14 years, I was hurt, outraged and disgusted at her. My son turns 18 in two days time so he is old enough and at 6ft 4in tall enough to walk her into her venue, but no. They are paying for it, so it is their choice who does what. They can keep the modern way for me, it stinks.
Again over money. I have been a walking purse for the last 14 years. Clothes, nights out as a teen, help with university, paying for nursery items, paying for maternity needs, gifts, flowers on births of the two grandsons, anything and everything she bellowed for. But his father died and has left money so that is what is paying for the wedding, not them themselves. She will marry him now that he has come into some money. She refused before his father died.
She apparently got pregnant by accident. I have since discovered that she ordered fertility tests three months after starting a relationship with this guy. Three months! Five months later she told me she was pregnant and that it was a surprise to them! Now I don't know if he knows that she was planning all this but he had started his degree by then. He had to stop it and get a job. Bad planning if he did know. I went along with the surprise story, not knowing anything else at the time, bought most of the nursery goods, the rest was from his sister. Hence, they bought very little for the baby. Second baby. Another surprise. Again he had started another degree. Again he had to stop it to get a job. Again bad planning on his part. I do not think he knew that she was planning on getting pregnant either time. Then at a later date found out she had ordered ovulation tests online. You don't buy these unless you are trying to get pregnant. She is so manipulative and wants her own way all the time. She has lied since she was a young teen to get it too. Trouble was, I got divorced around the same time so feeling guilty, used to give in to her as I thought both children were missing out on a life they had had beforehand. If I'd have known what I know now, my favourite word would have been "no".
Like you said, I have cut off all communication. I do not see the children now as it is too painful. The eldest came out with a comment when I was last there and she just laughed even though he (in my opinion) needed checking for it and being told he was being rude. The eldest starts school this time and it is already breaking my heart to know this without being able to see him in his uniform etc. But it has to be done. She is well aware of how my childhood was, and that there was abuse there. She knows well that her father was abusive and violent and yet she chooses to be abusive towards me too. The trouble is, we carry this hurt around with us every day even though we try to get on with our own lives.
I am glad I am not going to the wedding. I wouldn't be able to sit and watch him marry her not knowing if she has deceived him. It would not be possible for me to do that.
