How do you start a new relationship ?

This is where a group is needed in different areas of older people on their own. Lots of people my age, 70, are involved in their grandchildren so lives or in couples I used to be very involved in my grandchikdren lives but had them early, always busy my husband and I, then my husband died and the.grandchikdren flew the nests and see them occassionally.

Like you, I manage most days, however, I find weekends the worst. I was hoping in the future I may make friends with another widowed lady and we could accompany each other on outings, clubs, etc. All my current friends are couples and I now feel like the "odd one out"

How do you cope with the loneliness, my husband and I did most things together, liked being together outside work, thought we grow old together, but he died 10 years aga and the loneliness gets worse. Get out and about in the day, but it's the weekends and evenings that make it so garden.

Sorry to hear about your husband. I lost my husband 1o years ago and did not want to find anyone else, but it happened anyway, It was just a short relationship, but made me realise just what I had been missing over the last 10 years. Companionship, laughs, hugs, support etc etc etc-the list goes on.

I've been widowed for nearly 3 years and can't even begin to think about a new relationship but if one happened naturally that would be a different matter and sort of "meant to be."

If I ever did meant another man (which is highly unlikely) it would have to be a widower who would hopefully be more understanding, I could be wrong about that and widowers are few and far between.

I know there are many successful relationships found through internet dating (two in my family) but I go with letting nature take its course.

That's how I met my husband he appeared with another chap looking for young people to join the Labour party and we were together for the next nearly 50 years.

My mother was widowed at 52 and had a few admirers but she had no intention of forming any lasting relationship and as Speki said in a previous post she had no intention of becoming a nurse or a financial support to another man.

What I miss more than anything is someone to talk to and discuss things with and stop me getting things out of proportion. My husband and I took it in turns to do that for each other.

Any reason to be so sceptical??

Umm.. I wonder if all these comments are truthful?

speki4eyes There should be a window in the ladies that is available to crawl through in these circumstances.

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Out of hopeful curiosity, I filled in my profile on a couple of dating sites about 15 months ago. This enabled me to evaluate the situation and I idly logged in whenever I felt like it and had a look at those who the sites perceived as 'matches' for me. At first, it was quite interesting and I met up with one guy a few times and we dined out together - I insisted on going dutch and no intimacy occurred. I quickly realised that he was a professional gigolo who had no interest in developing a meaningful relationship. He just 'collected' women of a certain age - adding each one to his shopping bag as he went along. When we were together he quite openly made sheep's eyes at other women and spent the whole time talking about himself whilst not expressing any interest in my life or interests. I ended the connection after about six meetings - I did not want to join his little collection.

Since then, I have occasionally checked out the dating sites and do you know what? ....the same guys come up over and over again - they are profiled on multiple sites - goodness knows what they are looking for. They all look rather decrepit and motheaten!

My current attitude is that if someone meaningful is going to come into my life - it will happen by fate - I am very active and friendly, involved in all sorts of interests and have a large circle of good friends. I'm enjoying my freedom and have no wish to take on a potential 'controller' or someone who is looking for a nurse or a financial helpmate.

Life is good - there is so much to be involved in - study something, join U3A, get a pet, learn a new skill, cultivate your friendships and be positive. If a relationship is going to happen, it will happen that way

I almost started a thread about a similar subject, I have never been lonely in my life till now. I know no-one will take me on in a relationship with my health problems but it would be nice to meet new friends.

In the few days since coming out of hospital I have been so lonely, I cant drive so cant go out to the shops etc. I have had visitors but they don't stay that long, DD had her partner and DGD to look after so I wont see them until next week. I get phone calls from well wishers but I would love someone to talk to or listen to.

In the past there was work work and more work and I felt valued by that.
If anyone asked me out even just a girls night out I would refuse as I thought it a waste of time. I would finish work at maybe 7pm then get home cook a meal and be too tired to go out but work kept me busy.

Therefore the friends I have, whom I appreciate very much, are older, disabled and the sort of people I could fit into my life when I had a free day. Now I have to wait until people can fit a visit in to see me.

In future I will make time for others, but for now I am reading these posts with interest.

Have you thought about giving yourself some space and indulge yourself and do a bit of spoiling? Treat yourself to some nice smellies, a new top or your favourite meal?

I realise you're hurting badly but perhaps a bit of 'Sod you' time (as my eloquent BF says) might help?
She employs this tactic when her NSDH (Not So Dear Husband) is getting on her nerves.

Thank you---I will try your advice.But I got hurt so badly, I now have to see a counsellor for depression, I have noone at home to talk to, and I just get very lonely. You are right, I will try and take my time.

Mariana it's only been 2 months so why not relax, take a deep breath and learn to enjoy a degree of independence. Don't feel you have to find a new relationship in a panic.
Explore all these suggestions and enjoy meeting people rather than just seeking out a man.
Good luck whatever you decide to do, but have faith in yourself.
Que sera sera!

I like your style!

Thanks all for your advice. yes, we do have a once a month lunch, about 30 women, 2 men ! I have tried several chat rooms, but not a dating site, so I may give that a go. I do belong to a club called u3a, which has various groups--including definately photography. So I may have another look at that.I will also give the Interpals site a go.I will update if I have any success.

I was on a site called interpals for a while.It's a world wide site.I wanted friends from the U.K. I soon found out there were all ages,single and married.You can narrow down the country,ages and sex of the people on line and that are members. It tells you who is on line at the moment also. I just went on and saw a variety of single men your age there.The town the people are from is also on their profile with areas for pictures and a discription about themselves and likes. Just be smart and don't talk to people that might be up to no good but if need be they can be reported easily. Enjoy it! I met several people and one lady from California I'm Facebook friends with.

I am not in your situation have been married for 45 years and although my husband and I have some interest together we also have interest which we do separately.

I have an interest in computing gardening and photography and enjoy sailing and am in a walking group.
All these interest have men in the clubs I go too, single and married men. I guess if you have this sort of interest you would have the opportunity of meeting other men just a thought.

I will watch this thread with much interest. I am beginning to "look around me". I was not really thinking I would ever have any interest ever again, himself died in 2011 but was very ill for years before. Suddenly things changed somehow. I had been isolated for years, we were both caring for our respective parent, I never went out socially. The prospect scares me but I do go out for the odd afternoon tea! I dont smoke or drink and this seems to be a problem. You never can tell what life will bring to any of us but I am waiting to see.
Good luck Mariana
Sugarpufffairy

Our villages holds lunches for older single people. Is there anything like that around you? I think you need to find out what clubs are in your area. Or join a dating site for older people, perhaps. An older friend of mine has, and she says that it's not much different from a forum, you get a chance to chat to people online and find out what they are like. She has been out with one man, but says that they will remain friends and just meet up for the odd coffee.