Feels strange

I am really pleased for your hubby Nina.

My father died 2 years ago, aged 94, he always wanted to know who his father was. He was abandoned by his mother but brought up in a loving household by his grandmother , aunts and uncles. He never felt any recrimination from the village and had a happy childhood, something to be said for that era. There was always something missing though.

He did trace his mother during the war and went to London to meet her, he was taken to her home where he met her husband and he was a lovely chap. He eventually had 3 step brothers, 2 of which couldn"'t accept him but one dear soul did who was a kind man and is still alive himself, we do keep in touch but he has no knowledge of dads father.

When I had my own child I wrote to ask my Grandmother if she would tell me who my grandfather was but she died very soon after receiving my letter, maybe shock. It became important to me to know who he was only at that time to understand the health history of my family having had a child. I then asked a cousin of my fathers if she knew and she said "Well you have to remember the Canadian Army wered based in Devizes". . It did make me smile. I guess if you ask you have to be prepared to accept the consequences hey.

As you quite rightly say it is emotional and I truly hope your husband finds a true solace from the records he has at last obtained

Nina to me this sounds exciting. My PGM had my dad in 1915 when she was an unmarried 18yr old. She was sent away to have him and he was fostered and then cared for brilliantly in a family where the mother had lost a young child of her own. He was very lucky with that. All this was arranged by my PGMs step mother's family. However I doubt if we will ever know about his father.

I reckon your OHs discovery will be really interesting.

Yes, it is exciting kitty I will keep you posted
I'm just wondering if anything will turn up to explain MiL reluctance to DH enquiry, skeletons in the cupboard ??

Nina, that's nice for your DH, he should know his Fathers early history.I always support Barnardos they do such fantastic work.Leslie Thomas the author was a Barnardos Boy and wrote a very moving autobiography called ' In My Wildest Dreams'.

Exactly as Mishap said and it also relates to your children nina, especially as they didn't know that particular grandfather. It's, sort of, rounding things off. Please keep us posted about what comes to light. I'm quite excited for you all.

You are just sharing in your OH's emotion I guess.

Finding about our genetic background is bound to be an emotional time. We are hardwired to feel attached to family members (evidence is that it takes a lot of pain to cause any long lasting rift).

A bit of mutual handholding will be totally in order as you fill in the gaps and have the, entirely understandable, moments of what might have been etc.

Just be there for each other, expect it to take a bit of time and enjoy the results of filling in the gaps.

GillT57 We are in the final stages of this process. DH originally wrote to them last year. Having paid the registration fee, we now need to pay for the search results to be sent to us. Which is fine.
Mishap It would be understandable if it were my blood relative. But I hardly knew FiL.

It is very interesting this desire to know about our blood relatives and where we come from. I always think this when I watch Long Lost Family where people who have had very happy lives but still have that basic instinct to know who they are and who their blood relatives are.

One lady on last week's programme became very emotional about the fact that a brother (whom she could not even remember, as they were so young when they were split up) was looking for her.

It does seem to be a very emotional issue - I should stock up on Kleenex if I were you!

I was chatting to a friend a week or so ago, he has been researching his family history and found a grandfather who was a Barnados boy. The good thing is that their record keeping is fantastic and the information and material they pass on is wonderful (and quite emotional). Be prepared to wait though as the upsurge in interest in family history has meant they have a backlog and I believe they make a charge which is only fair as they are a charity. Good luck I hope it all goes well. Many of the young people taken in by Barnados had good lives, possible better than that they left.