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Former Carers for family members

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Sugarpufffairy Thu 30-Jul-15 22:34:58

Thank you Loopylou. I was wondering if it was just me this had happened to or alternatively if I was being overly sensitive.
I have wondered if those relatives who absented themselves felt any guilt, if they had enough heart in them to do so. Perhaps they are worried about what will happen to them in their final years, months, weeks or hours.
Thank you for your comments. I am trying to look after myself and not feel down.
Sugarpufffairy

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loopylou Thu 30-Jul-15 16:46:59

From my experience this isn't at all unusual sugarpufffairy, sadly many unpaid carers become socially isolated because of the caring role and I have known a number whose efforts during and after the caring role were criticised too. There will always be those who think they know better or could do things better - definitely my sister comes to mind- yet offer practical support? Not flipping likely!
Sometimes I think guilt plays a part, but often they will be habitual critics of everything and everyone.
You have done as tremendously difficult job as a carer, flowers and ((hugs)), now it's time to look after you x

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Sugarpufffairy Thu 30-Jul-15 13:40:20

Is there anyone else who was a family for a relative for a fairly long time who is now alone due to their caring reponsibilities no longer being required. This could be because of death or the caree being in residential care now.
I found that when I was a carer there was no other family member who would give me even an hour off to do shopping without running through the supermarket aisles. Heaven help us if I had wanted a holiday!
All my older people who I cared for are now dead and although I am not now stressed trying to get here before I left there life is really dull. People seem to have forgotten about me. I am reserved and do not contact people for fear of rejection. I have had strange criticisms before such as why that crematorium for the funeral? The reason being that it was the only one I knew. I had sat alone with that relative during the final hours and the person who was at my house looking after my children was not a relative.
I never asked for help from anyone as I knew it would not be forthcoming but I do not see the reason why my efforts were criticised.
Does anyone else have similar experiences?
Thank You
Sugarpufffairy

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