I bet you've missed the Idiot - so here is the next instalment - advice please!!

Yes kitty he's only too happy for us to have them. We usually have them over night once a week

I even proof read that post!! b na Nina

Mil has, apparently, been the butt of this sort of behaviour for years! Even the Idiot told DD to report his father to the police. But, it was all very early on in DD's 'recovery' and only those who have any experience (first hand or not) will understand how defeated she was. She is emerging (with the help of the lovely new partner] but she can still be 'unbalanced' by the Idiot. The Idiot has been told never to leave the children with his parents and I don't believe he would!

B na, that sounds just like the infantile sort of thing the Idiot would do! Do you still have contact with the children?

I agree with Lona
In any case, the DC should not have unsupervised contact with her PIL if that is the sort of thing FIL does. What a great role model - as is his son.
What about MIL - Does she think that is normal and acceptable?

I agree Lona

As a family they don't sound like the sort of people that you'd want to look after your children/grandchildren. Trying to choke your dd sounds like a reason for supervised contact only to me.

I will just say that his latest tack is that if DD want's to Skype the boys she has to buy them a device because he's stopped them communicating with her via the iPad he bought them. He didn't like it when she had to suddenly stop the conversation she was having with him (with good reason) so now he's taken his ball indoors and nobody is going to play !! %#@

DD doesn't particularly want him to see the children but he won't just go away as it's his last bit of power. Also, she doesn't want it be her 'fault' when the children get to be teenagers if they have no relationship with him!

Lona, she sends us screen shots of everything just in case she loses her phone. All communications are by Whatsapp - he blocks her except when he wants to talk to her.

Nina please feel free - we are all in it together!

Is there a court order in place kitty,if so maybe this needs to be revisited and the needs of the children assessed in terms of contact.
I don't know the circumstances,butwe have had have a d****d instead of an idiot that gave us grief,and a guardian ad litem was used to state E's case and set the terms for contact.
This may then give your daughter the support she needs in handling the situation.

Yes why bother trying to keep in touch at all? How can she think of letting someone who tried to strangle her near her kids. Sounds like the idiot takes after his father.

kitty does your dd keep a record of the dates and incidents? Just in case he stops paying.

Thanks for the update! It may be a silly question but why exactly does she want the children to keep in touch? They have a wonderful new male role model and the Idiot doesn't sound as if he's likely to be the best influence for them. Have the other GPs asked to see them?

If she needs further backup advise would Social Services be able to help? I know they arrange supervised visits for absent unsuitable parents,perhaps they could advise if there's an organisation which provides similar facilities.

I can't help I'm afraid kitty Except maybe CA could either help or suggest someone who can. Why do people think it's ok to use their children as pawns
I won't high jack your thread but right now I can certainly empathise.