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I bet you've missed the Idiot - so here is the next instalment - advice please!!

(90 Posts)
kittylester Sun 23-Aug-15 16:05:08

DD has now moved in with her lovely new partner. He is absolutely fantastic with the children and they adore him.

The Idiot is running out of ways of controlling DD but, obviously, there are still the children. It is now 9 weeks since he saw them. He asked to have them a couple of weeks ago (when it was DH's birthday party). Because the children were looking forward to seeing us, their aunts, uncles and cousins, DD had to warn them that they were going to see Daddy instead and, naturally, they were really excited. DD then asked the Idiot if his girlfriend was going to be there whereupon he told her to f-off and said he wouldn't have them.

Today, he said that he is off work next week and would like to have the children. DD said that in view of the long period since he last saw them it might be good to have them during the day at the start of the week and then have them to stay overnight a little later in the week. Again he told her to f-off! Luckily, she hasn't mentioned it to the children this time.

The Idiot still pays the child support (not through the CMS) regularly.

Is there any where she can go for advice on the best way forward? I think she is doing all the right things but she feels she would like more than the support of her Mum and Dad behind her.

She would like the children to see him and his parents, who have not seen them for (we think) 3 months. She will not take them to see his parents as her FiL put his hands round her throat and threatened to hit her last time she went there.

Or, does anyone know any hit men? angry

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 08-Feb-16 11:57:36

I really hope granjura doesn't leave. Won't be the same without her.

This was all such a simple misunderstanding. Made worse by others chipping in. hmm

Indinana Mon 08-Feb-16 11:28:39

Yes I agree kitty.

kittylester Mon 08-Feb-16 11:13:47

That would be a shame!

Indinana Mon 08-Feb-16 10:30:53

Well it looks as if granjura is leaving - at least, according to a comment she's made on another thread.

thatbags Mon 08-Feb-16 10:05:32

PS that Shakespeare quote translates as calm down in my head.?

thatbags Mon 08-Feb-16 10:04:13

Chuck out the extra 'h'.

thatbags Mon 08-Feb-16 10:03:46

So gj made a mistake.

"Forgive, forget, conclude and be agreed". Shakespeare, Rhichard II

Indinana Mon 08-Feb-16 10:00:21

I was also about to ask why this thread had been resurrected by someone other than Kitty herself.
That was my first thought too. If kitty mentioned problems with 'the idiot' on another thread I would have thought it would be more appropriate to respond on that thread, rather than bring it up on here, with no explanation. gj surely should have realised that not everyone would have seen kitty's comment(s) on the other thread - I certainly hadn't and was just as confused as others.
This is kitty's thread - if anyone is going to resurrect it, then it should really be her.

thatbags Mon 08-Feb-16 09:59:33

I think too much was read into gj's irritation at the confused post, and perhaps she was too irritated (I expect she felt got at or embarassed). The expressions storm, teacup, and calm down come to mind.

(Yes, I know even thinking "calm down" is a sin nowadays) ?

Jalima Mon 08-Feb-16 09:45:58

hmm annsixty that is a very kind thought but, and not wishing to add fuel to the fire, I don't think there was a misunderstanding except for the very first one where a poster was confused by the resurrection of an old thread for an unexplained reason.

grannylyn65 Mon 08-Feb-16 09:37:54

And how exactly picking quarrells with posters help kitty, ? she deserves support and, I think she explains herself well.

annsixty Mon 08-Feb-16 07:45:13

This was a total misunderstanding by several people. There is no reason for anyone to apologise or leave GN.
Personal attacks are childish and unwarranted.
Stress is responsible for many things and feelings of hurt or anger are just two of them.

thatbags Mon 08-Feb-16 06:54:31

gj said: I so wish I could edit and cancel my comments- but I can't.

That looks like a sort of apology to me.

No need for you to leave, alea flowers.

Nelliemoser Sun 07-Feb-16 23:57:32

I was also about to ask why this thread had been resurrected by someone other than Kitty herself.

I have been off line all day.

Jalima Sun 07-Feb-16 23:18:13

Is this an unpleasant face or is it just confused?

Instructions below:
To add confused type confused in square brackets
etc

Jalima Sun 07-Feb-16 23:15:25

There was really no need for this, sadly

Quite right, so why start it in the first place granjura? confused

Galen Sun 07-Feb-16 23:11:30

Agreed!

Iam64 Sun 07-Feb-16 22:37:17

Kittylester, I'm sorry to hear things have become stressful again. I haven't seen the other thread where you mention this.

I was shocked by the way granjura responded to Alea, particularly as Alea was singled out whilst others who asked the same question weren't subjected to personal attack. Alea, please don't go. Like others, on this occasion I believe an apology is needed.

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 07-Feb-16 22:29:29

Right-o. grin

Charleygirl Sun 07-Feb-16 22:28:06

I will go where I like

Bellanonna Sun 07-Feb-16 22:27:58

Yes JBF. A mention of what had been written on another thread would have saved this unpleasantness. I hope Alea feels able to change her mind.

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 07-Feb-16 22:25:23

There is nobody's corner to be in. Storm in a teacup and fuss about nothing!

Charleygirl Sun 07-Feb-16 22:23:53

I am in Alea's corner- I also felt that I had missed something because I did not understand what was going on.

Please come back Alea it is not worth it.

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 07-Feb-16 22:19:07

Come back Alea. [sigh!] hmm

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 07-Feb-16 22:15:55

Oh! I see. It was mentioned on another thread. Gj perhaps you could have put something like "as mentioned on the -blah- thread". No reason for a fuss though. hmm