Just need to vent

No kitty nothing legal

What an awful state of affairs nina I'm so sorry that you, your DD and GC are being treated so badly.

Our ES told us when our only GC was 4 months old that they'd never stop us from seeing him because they knew how much we loved him. 4 months later they did and that was 3 years ago. It beggars belief doesn't it that these parents are prepared to use their own children as pawns in their sick little games.

I hope you get to see them soon.

I agree with your sentiment Nonnie but on this thread we are venting about specific men! My husband, 2 sons, two brothers and 2 other lovely sons-in-law wouldn't behave like the low life's we are talking about. I suppose it depends on one's own experience!

Was your DD's arrangement a Court decision nina?

glamanan sorry but you make it sound like it is only men who do this. That is just so unfair, there are some really nasty women out there too. The are very controlling and manipulative and far more likely to be believed by the authorities simply because they are female.

nina I think you are right to worry, they may well believe all that they are told. It is emotional abuse to turn a child against the other parent or their family.

DD is paying him maintenance, he earns 3 times what she does.

kitty You're right, they don't like losing the 'power'. Thankfully my DD is so much stronger now, and laughs at him, which of course, he hates!
My dgd1 can't wait to get away from him but unfortunately my DD can't really afford to have the girls full time, so they have to put up with him.

If his father is around more maybe things will improve Nina - I do hope so.

Ours isn't thick (well he is ) but he just has to be in control and as DD has escaped his clutches he is hanging on to the little bit of power he has. Currently, he is having them fortnightly and paying regularly so she is happy for him to see deal with the silly arrangements but she can't contact him should she need to as he has blocked her on everything possible.

If he starts messing about again I am sure she will be stronger and he perhaps realises this. Nevertheless, he was, is and no doubt always will be a complete b*****d.

When the money is transferred to her account from his, the reference is 'Unfaithful slag' which is rich since he was having an affair for the last 6 months of their relationship.

kitty I wish I knew how. He has all the cards at the moment.
His father is the only one who can make him see sense. He was in UK last weekend and DD got to speak to the boys because his father made sure of it. His parents are moving back to UK permanently very soon so with a bit of luck things will improve.
He's too thick to realise he's using the boys to get at her. God knows what will happen to his other chid due in November.

What is wrong with men ?? they must think they still hold the trump card in some way mustn't they the sooner they grow up and think of the little ones the better,we had this with x SIL and ignored his little games and he soon got fed up when he got no reaction it took a while though to sink in to his daft brain.

* Nina* he certainly is despicable, and a few other things too!

That's so sad Nina. Would it be hard to tea k him down?

You just wonder why they can't just grow up really and put their children first but as Pogs says, it's all self!

Lona that's despicable

I worry that at 6 and 3 they will think DH and I don't want to see them.

That"s bloody ridiculous kitty

It is always the children who finish up as pawns in the game - I do feel for you poor GPs thrown into a mess that is not of your making.

Vent away - heaven knows you have justification.

Me too!
My dgd1 has been in tears at my house today, as her dad, forbidden to contact my dd, rings dgd and rants at her! She's 16 and he always shouts at her as though it's her fault! Grrr!!!

Count me in amongst the Grans flying squad!

Nina. & Kitty

Mine has been OK recently but he is still a little ><@3#&>>*&££>+ when he wants to be . [fed up too]

They just don't seem to think of the kids do they, all self, self, self.

Fellow feeling! The idiot won't see DD ' on medical advice' and only unblocks her to say what time he will be in the co-op car park for her partner to meet him. He drops them here driving up and down the road to check who is around. Last time he put their stuff in the porch, the children in the porch and then rang the bell and b******d off! He's bloody 51!

I don't have his address kitty he either delivers and collects or we meet somewhere neutral.
I can rely on you to put a on my face. Thanks

Flipping heck nina. What a prat! Can you go round or would he throw his toys out of the pram? I'm thinking he probably would! Vent away. We could send the grans round! for you!

So sad nina GP's worst fears. In the early days I was threatened this from my DiL but she needed me too much and now we get on quite well.