Passive aggressive behaviour from OH

Been married for 43 years - 3 daughters / 7 grandchildren - all living nearby and all pretty much getting on OK. Husband and I have always argued throughout the relationship, there's been ups and downs. 6 years ago we sold our house in the country and moved into town. At the time we weren't getting on at all well and we nearly bought two small places instead. We went for counselling at this time and this, combined with the move (lovely house, extension to plan and build etc) seemed to keep us going for a few years. Then last year the relationship felt bad again - arguments, lack of communication, lack of caring. We had few more counselling sessions - same person, who was lovely - we both liked her. She pointed out to husband that he was saying positive things about the relationship, but not following through in actions. To help the relationship we were trying to go away for short breaks from time to time. Once we went away for just one night and in the afternoon husband went for a lng walk on his own for 3 hours. I was furious when he came back - he said he'd been thinking about me all the time. Anyway I've just had a hip replacement (2 weeks post op now) and the last couple of weeks have been horrible. He's "looked after" me but in a way that makes me feel very awkward. I heard him on the phone to a friend saying that he was "doing a lot" and " not getting any thanks for it" - not true. The counsellor pointed out that he was very needy and lacking in self esteem ( although he's done well in his work). I feel I'm blathering sorry. I guess another major thing is that he's had erectile disfunction issues the last couple of years. I've been as supportive as I can over this.