Elderly parents

Oops! Lona and GrannieWidd, sorry for my mistake! Of course, my earlier post was meant to be addressed to you, Grannie. (((Hugs!))) Hope you're feeling better today.

(((Hugs))) to you, too, Louisa! Does your DH realize how much of his "independent" mother's care has been dropped on you? How did he respond when you told him it was exhausting? Was he sympathetic or did he brush it off?

Perhaps it's time for a hired nurse/carer or, yes, a home, if that's feasible. You may need to let DH's family know that you need to cut back on your involvement. Maybe say you can't do the chauffering, anymore, or won't be doing the "'admin' stuff." Then let them figure out how to fill in the gaps.

Such very sad news.

I was JUST saying to DH how exhausting it is caring for his mum at a distance. She is 100 next month and lives 30 miles away.
I do all her shopping and washing, look after her 'admin' stuff, take her for hospital appointments and liaise with her Surgery and chemist. Her neighbour does all her housework (paid arrangement) , a regular gardener maintains the garden, she gets meals on wheels and her granddaughter pops in frequently. Yesterday she said to DH that she is proud of being 'independent'. and that most folk of her age would be in a home!
For us to get away on holiday requires making elaborate arrangements.
DH's sister lives abroad so all the responsibility of an ageing parents falls on him - well, me really.

I'm so sorry GrannyWidd Your dear friend's devotion at her own expense is a sad reminder for many of us to take care of ourselves. Not easily done.

So sorry to hear about your friend GrannieWidd. You are right - some very elderly people don't seem to realise that their children are ageing too.

I am so sorry to hear of the death of GrannieWidd's friend. It is especially hard going around Christmas time.
It is something that people need to understand. No-one cane do everything.
Take care GrannieWidd's
SPF

Wendysue It's not my friend, it's GrannieWidd's

My deepest condolences on the loss of your friend, Lona. No wonder you feel "flat." Hard to enjoy Christmas after such a loss, especially when it was just yesterday and so sudden.

If only she had set some boundaries with her parents, screened her calls, and so forth. We may not always be able to "make our parents understand" that we can't be at their beck and call. But we can set limits for ourselves so that doesn't happen.

Your poor friend was probably feeling badly for a while before she collapsed. I wonder if she had been to the doctor and if she followed their advice. I'm gonna guess no, but I suppose I could be wrong.

But I don't mean to sound as if I'm blaming your friend for her death. I'm not. I'm just thinking of how the rest of us could avoid this. She sounds like a very good woman and I can see you feel her loss deeply. Again, I'm so sorry. My heart is with you.

GWidd How very sad to lose your friend so suddenly. No wonder you feel so flat (((hugs)))

So sorry to hear of the death of your dear friend GrannieWidd62. Terribly sad . The sandwich generation are literally pulled from every direction. Looking after our elderly parents ( and in my case my grandma who only died recently aged 99) and our grandchildren and often forgetting to look after ourselves.

Awful

Such terribly sad news and at a time in your friends life when she should have been enjoying life and taking things easier.

GrannieWidd62 I am so sorry to hear that of course you are feeling devastated. (((hugs)))

Oh dear that is so sad I am sorry. DH and I had both sets of parents for a long time to look after and its exhausting especially when they wont accept any form of organised help and only want their children to do what they see as their duty. I'm sorry you are feeling low and what a day for it. If chatting help please feel free to message me or just stay on here. I'm around all day.

I am so very very sorry, loosing a best friend is very hard. I wish I had the words to make your sorrow easier to bear. ((((Hug)))