No peace for the wicked!

I understand how you feel, but be careful what you wish for.

There are times when you have to say enough is enough otherwise you would never have a minute to yourself. I put the phone on silent when there is something I recall want to see on the tele. You watch a series for weeks and then come the final episode you don't get to see what happened. I also do not answer the phone once I have sat down for lunch or dinner. There is nothing worse than half cold food.

As I work full-time my evenings are precious one friend in particular rings in the evening she has a lot of time on her hands and hasn't worked since her marriage over 30 years ago and rings to chat and have a moan between 7 and 9 it used to make me very short with her on the telephone so now I tend to ignore it altogether and ring her back at the weekend I used to feel guilty but now I think she should show more consideration.

Nannoo - why not be thankful that someone has rung you. My daughter could not make it for Chrissy so the wife and I have been on our own all the hols. Being old and housebound in a small villiage (no buses over the hols) we get very little contact with the outside world. Be thankful for the calls - however annoying. All the Best.

I have it down to a fine art. I record the programmes I do not want to miss so that if anybody rings, I know I can watch the programme later. All calls are screened and at present I am avoiding a friend of my aunt who rings to moan about the pink or blue tablets or to tell me she had a better, more caring GP 20 years ago. As she goes on for over an hour, it wears me out.

She knows I do not go out in the evenings so I am usually a sitting duck but I would say"I must have popped in to see a neighbour when you rang" or I must have been busy in the kitchen and did not hear the phone.

I know she is lonely but her son should do more to help her. She visited my aunt 6 out of 7 days a week, my aunt is in a care home in Ireland now so this woman is so lonely.

No you're not selfish! You have a choice whether to answer or not, you can exercise that choice however you like. It sounds to me as though it's your friends who are being selfish. You have the choice of being honest and saying, 'Sorry, I was just watching so-and-so, can you be an angel and ring back after it's finished?' If they take offence then you have a very clear indication that they're using you. Even better, I'd encourage them to email or text message instead, it's much less intrusive.
As a matter of interest how often do you phone them in the evening for a moan?

If they are good friends they possibly know your tastes, so just remind them. DH had a lovely Aunt whom we knew never to ring during Coronation Street, as she loved it.

Of course you are entitled to a wee moan! My hubby has the same problem as you. His friends assume he is always there to listen to them. He has one who phones most evenings. It annoys me because I can't hear the tv because hubby is talking loudly into the phone!

As everyone else is saying, don't feel you have to always answer the phone. If you don't answer they will assume you aren't at home. Maybe they'll get used to the idea that you aren't always available. Good luck, you sound like a lovely person.

Oh dear - that's me told! Maybe I am selfish, but I don't think so! I really do appreciate my friends. I know I am lucky to have them, and am happy to help when I can - just not every flippin' evening.
I think I shall use my answer phone on the rare occasions when I wish to see a TV program. Of course I could have worked that out for myself , but don't we all like a wee moan now and again?
-And finally, some people can be a bit judgemental-

Why answer if you don't want to talk to anybody?
Alternatively maybe your friends would like to talk to you? I imagine there are people on GN whose phone has not rung for 4 days and who would love human contact.
Sorry, but I can't sympathise, if you just want to say "Bah, humbug!" fair enough, but if you really prefer your TV to friends and family, put the phone on silent/leave it off the hook/pull up the drawbridge, you don't need a confrontation, just be unavailable.
and maybe less selfish

Everyone who knows me well enough to have my home telephone no are all aware that I will never answer the phone after 7pm unless a dire emergency and everyone respects that I have tel no pref for ppi callers and most are blocked thank goodness anyone else can either call back during the day or they know where I live and can visit if they want,I spent years answering phone calls in my job and do not enjoy making small talk who ever it is.My favourite "cut the caller" is "Oh there is someone at front door must dash" end of call.

I was you many years ago. Then my Daughter gave me a talking to and showed me how to 'just ignore it' She also encouraged me to ignore the doorbell as well ( if I really didn't want to see anyone)
What I do now to the 'moaners' is: I give them a little time to whinge and then I'm an expert on the 'are you there, I can't hear you, your breaking up' routine' believe me, you will feel so much better.
And don't forget, whenever you can, drop into the conversation (with these people) what a pain in the arse these type of people are.

Unplug (or switch off if it's a mobile) the phone when you want to watch something, nannanoo. That's not confrontational but it achieves peace and quiet when you want it. People will leave a message or phone again if it's anything urgent.

I have sympathy with this, it can be infuriating. I have an answerphone which is set to cut in after only 2 rings. So when I feel like peace and quiet I put it on. And I don't ring them all back afterwards, unless it is something important.
Mostof them have taken the hint now.
Good luck Nannanoo...