feuding daughters

I would hate it if my children stopped talking to each other but I'm afraid my older sister and I avoid each other completely. It's been this way for years and the rest of the family just manage round it. She isn't particularly nice to anyone in the family is is particularly vicious towards me. I've tried and tried but have given up for my own emotional well being. As is often said, we don't choose our families only our friends.

thanks girls,,,bless you all,,,,,,i think one daughter is jelous of any attention i give the eldest,,,,but the one who is jelous just doesnt communicate with anyone now she has a boyfreind,i and her sister just get dropped,,,,,,so i just see more of the other,,,,i treat them both equelly.........cant win,,,,yes i will take all advise let them get on with it.......see what happens...i will keep in touch,..................................

pleased to say i met numbers...we had lunch that was nice,,,and i hope to meet salamander next week,,,,,that will give me something to look forward to,,,,,,,sweet blessings to you all for 2016. xx

My sisters hate each other, no one knows why (and they're twins too, which seems to make it worse); they behave very much like your two angie and they're breaking my mother's heart.
It's been going on for probably 15 years.
I feel like banging their heads together, it's so pathetic the way they behave, like spoilt brats.

You can't make them be nice to each other if they don't want to. In fact, you could make the division worse if you keep on at them and put on pressure.

Each of them is nice to you, and you enjoy their company separately. Leave it at that. If one rants to you about the other, tell them that it is their quarrel, not yours, and you have no intention of taking sides, because you love both of them, then change the subject, and bite your tongue about how much you would like to see them getting on better.

angiebaby, you do not explain why there is such bitterness between your two daughters. A relationship like this doesn't rise from nowhere and any resulution lies in resolving the cause of the bitterness rather than trying to change current behaviour.

Oh angiebaby... ((((hugs))). It hurts to see your loved ones fighting! I'm sorry they can't understand that.

But I agree with Luckygirl and Coolgran's dh - you need to stay out of your dds' feuding. They're grown women - it's not your job to mediate between them or bring them back together. And while I know how you feel about wanting the GC to get together, it's not your job to see that this happens either. If you can see that none of this is your responsibility, maybe you won't feel so bad when it doesn't happen.

You know, I think all of us parents have a vision of our AC getting together with us and the GC/cousins and so forth - one big happy family. But sometimes, unfortunately, it's just not to be and we have to enjoy them separately, as Lucky says. Let it go.

Meanwhile, I'm sorry the one dd you saw for Christmas had the flue. That's not her fault, of course, and has nothing to do with the feuding situation. Hope she feels better soon. And hope you do, too (in a different way).

Just chill. Leave them to it. Are they emotionally volatile usually? Are you just possibly overreacting? Will this just blow over.

thanks lucky girl.........its hard though i just want it all to be nice but it isnt,,,,,,i cant see it ending,,,,they have already told me,,,,when i die,,,,dont exspect them to be nice to each other,,,,and one girl said she can have everything,,,,,,,oh dear,,,,,

Leave them to it - they are grown adults. Enjoy the time you have with each on their own. Be glad that they are on good terms with you and enjoy each set of GC separately - with a smile.

Just leave it at that. Of course it is sad that they fall out and that the GC cannot play with their cousins, but I am sure they have lots of other friends. Keep well out of it, and enjoy the good bits - there is nothing you can do!

It is not ideal, but they are all hale and hearty and you can enjoy their company.

hi coolgran,,,,yes they are both ok with me but one wont come round while the other is there,,,,i have tried to talk to them ,,,but all i get is why are you trying to get us back together,,,,,,,,,,,why,,,?,,,,,,because its stressing me out,,,,upsetting me, my 2 daughers not talking to each other,,,it is effecting the grandkids as they are being kept apart,,,,,,,,christmas was awfull again,,,i saw one daughter she stayed,,,,but she had bad flue,,,,bt she packed all the things up this morning early and cleared off,,,,,,,,,i was heartbrocken i have taken all the decorations down,,,,,,,,i could scream,,,,

I'm so sorry for your heartache.
My dh attitude is always let them sort it out for themselves.
Are they both ok with you.