Grandson at risk

Thanks for all the support. My GS was made the subject of a child in need order as soon as DS was pregnant because she has a mental health problem and her living conditions can be chaotic to put it mildly. However during her condition is stable and her consultant and CPN have both stated this. During pregnancy her partner kept threatening to get custody due to her health - you can imagine how that affected her and his mother even went to a solicitor. Anyway baby born and soc services involved but partner denies having any problems of his own until sw of the time caught him lying about it. There was a conference with police involved DDs problems discussed and then partner was shown to have been involved with everything he had denied and other things - non of these disclosures have made him change his ways - he is still bullying. So much so that he has been MADE to leave the property while he undertakes abuse awareness course. This was sw's idea and this in particular is hat I mean by 'on the fly'. He made a big fuss about access to DGS so sw agreed he could visit 1/2 times week - this needs to be supervised and I do this - she doesn't have to pay me! BUT he comes and goes as he pleases and has money from the benefit that is paid to pay his mother where he is living. This frequently leaves DD without heat and I stump up for this. I have told the the sw that her action plan means that much needed money is being taken from the household but she doesn't seem to understand.

She has come up with other crackpot things as well. By the way the Order is on the basis of neglect - which is not happening DD is doing everything she can for her baby (except tidy up much!)

Of course there are lots of other things that I'm not happy about. I do attend the conferences as I am DD's carer - believe it or not partner refused to be her carer even though he lives with her and I don't. Latest CPN asked why I am carer in a conference and I said it was because he had refused - not one person asked him why.

Sorry this is so long and it is only part of the story but I have thought about my MP. The trouble is I have worked with sw and this one seems to be confident beyond her competence and leaves sentences unfinished which makes almost everything sound like a veiled threat.

Contact your local MP. I hope you can sort things out.

Gill, my heart aches for you and yours! I know how much you must feel for your DD and your DGS. And I can see from your post that you are worried about DGS being ripped away from his mother/your DD.

Like f77, however, I'm afraid I believe we need more information if we're going to be able to truly grasp the situation. In addition to her questions, I have a couple of my own. If it's the dad who's abusive, why do you seem to be worried that the focus will be on DD?

It's understandable that you don't want to give identifying details. But perhaps you can answer our questions in a general way? DD wouldn't be the first woman to go on staying married to/sharing a home with the accused abuser and trying to defend him, IF THAT'S the case here. Nor would she be the first whose abusive ex, IF THAT'S what he is, tried to turn the tables on her. Please try to tell us whatever you comfortably can.

(((Hugs!)))

Do not know anything about this subject really, but can just a SW put a child protection order in place? I would think that is a lot if responsibility to fall on one persons shoulders. The trouble is we have heard so many tragic cases about SW not doing enough with dreadful consequences I wondered if they are being extra careful. It must be a dreadful time for you all and I do hope you can get this sorted and the truth told.

I would suggest asking for a meeting with the Social Worker involved but do not go to this alone, take notes during the conversation, ask for the Social Worker for her future proposals and plans and the time line. You could have your phone or other device on record. I have found Social Workers to be very adept at covering up their twisted and stupid comments. Even when taken to task over written statements on their own headed paper they can not admit that they got things so very wrong. I cant go into detail as that would be identifying but you could not make up the garbage that they came away with.
I have worries but I would never go near a Social Worker.

I've complained by writing to the chief executive of our social services department (looong story). It certainly makes everyone sit up and take notice!

I was a SW, and at that time anyone who was not happy with how the SW was acting could go through the complaints procedure. I do realise how daunting and slow this can be, but it is an option worth looking into.

You could also ask to speak to the Director of Social Services for your area, rather than just the line manager.

It is possible that others have had a problem with that SW and the more people who state their concerns, the more likely it is that the problem will be resolved.

You must also bear in mind that SWs have to take some pretty tough decisions as society's representatives in the protection of children, so many SWs have to bear bad news and make decisions that families may not be happy with. That does not always mean the decisions are wrong - they can be, but not always.

As a grandparent you are quite at liberty to contact the SW yourself and express your concerns.

It is also possible that the SW is the messenger being set up to be shot at. I know that much of the time towards the end of my career I felt like a pawn in a game myself!

Not being nosey here but could do with a bit more detail , ie what is the reason given for a Child protection order and does the father live with your daughter and GS ? The stress will not be a reason to remove him only if he is considered to be in danger. I have had a similar situation , my DIL had some sort of breakdown and my GS was left with her and has been badly affected .
My son was separated from her and we fully expected GS to be removed as my DIL`s behaviour was so extreme . It is a very last resort to remove a child even sometimes when it would be in their interest .
Someone will come along and answer your question on here with more knowledge than I have but I am just offering you a bit of support x

Sorry I have no words of advice but plenty of sympathy and empathy. Our family have been through a similar situation.