Where did you meet your next partner after divorce/bereavement

I'm sorry to hear this I'm in a,marriage to a,workaholic so I've just made the decision to try and build my own social scene so I've,gone to the,sea,by my self .rekindled a monthly. Night out with women friends,gone off for coffee at a rhs place,my dh doesn't seem interested in doing much ? age tiredness .I am in my 60s.there's an organisation called meet up my counsellors told me about not yet had the courage to go to one yet .

I'm afraid I would never be daft enough to do it again! Determined to stay single now until I die. VERY happy on my own

Hi kacee, I was with my husband for over 22 years. I was devastated when we separated 4 years ago and for the first two years I was in turmoil. Funnily enough my life only started to get more settled when our divorce came through in 2014. I think you must give yourself time to adjust before you look at moving on. Like you, I didn't have many single friends but it's amazing what groups are out there for you to join, keep fit, cake making, anything that takes your fancy. Have a look in your local paper or church halls, there's usually something listed. I've been on a couple of dates but I didn't feel they were right and I didn't want to waste anyone's time. Still, I would like to meet someone special and, if it ever happens I will remember what my lovely friend told me; don't let what's happened in the past take away your chance of a happy future. Good luck xx

Kacee, just get out there and join something. The WI and U3A, find something you are interested in, I wouldn't worry about meeting anyone else at the moment, just keeping busy and talking to different people. You say you wish he had left you when you were younger, but it is never the right time to be left on your own. You had many happy years together in a relationship, no one knows how long anything will last. My darling husband died too young and I just didn't want to go on for ages. However, I havemade a new life for myself, 11 years on and thankfully still fit, I have never looked for another man and I now feel past my sell by date as men my age would want someone younger anyway. My married friends are retiring with their husband do contact with them has dropped off and I am trying different things. Some of them have their own health problems, or their husbands to cope with. You sound as if you have a close, loving family which must mean so much. All the best for the future.

Kacee write yourself a list of exciting or interesting things you would like to do, places you would like to go. Be a tourist in your own area and get out and visit places you have never been before. Walk as much as you can because you will be surprised what you see and even borrow a dog to walk if you don't have one of your own because people talk to you when you have a dog with you. Be a hospital visitor. Volunteer for something even for a couple of hours a week. You could be a driver for hospital visits, take someone shopping for example.
You need to be busy and you need to smile - lots, you may not feel like smiling but the more you do it the better you will feel. Let us know how things go please. ((hugs))

Interesting post Kacee.

My first husband and I separated after thirteen years of marriage and we divorced two years later. I met my second husband at church (his parents and both sets of grandparents also met at church) and we will have been married for thirty glorious years in August.

A friend of mine has just re-married after meeting a new man just over a year ago and she's a similar age to you Kacee, so don't think it can never happen for you. (She also met her husband at church).

I separated after 22 years and divorced 2 years later. Had dated a little but definitely didn't want anything long term. I had bought a smaller house mortgage free, had a job, was doing fine.

At the 40th birthday party of a work colleague I met the brother of her OH. He gave me a lift home and asked me to the cinema the following week. I was 48 and he was 43 and was bringing up his 3 sons alone.I had one son at uni.

We're together 19 years now, married for 11 of them (married at 56), and 4 grandchildren between us.

Just get mingling, walking clubs are often run by the local Council. I go on a Wednesday morning. Over 50s activity mornings at the leisure centre. Even just going to the corner shop for a loaf. Smile (it will get easier) at people, fake it till you make it. Good luck.

I don't really want a relationship just yet but I will still talk to people who come along and if someone does who floats my boat, then so be it.

I met my last serious partner through friends, my last not very serious partner (saw him the other day and he still refers to his mum as mumsy, hence it went no-where!) I met while home schooling my son. It is strange where you can meet someone. I've not been seeing anyone though now for nearly six years, due to health problems I do wonder how someone will be able to take me on with what I have to deal with, so I stay on my own, it's easier for now.

There are lots of singles groups Kacee [I think I saw one advertised at my leisure centre]. Try to find the time to join one. Don't look for a new relationship but take up new interests [you could join u3a as well]. When my marriage ended 10 or so years ago I didn't want to meet anyone else, but I did want a social life and people to have holidays with etc. so I joined a singles group. Because I wasn't actually looking for someone, I did. And, there were times when I felt that everyone around me was with someone and it was as if there was a hologram on my head saying 'I'm alone'; it wasn't actually the case...it just 'felt' that way. If you're feeling down, do speak to your GP. They do take divorce etc very seriously. I did, for a while, take antidepressants because I needed to emerge from a black hole into which I'd sunk; to start again I needed a bit of help. and hugs...

Kacee. Your 61 not 91. Do you have any women friends? Preferably single, who you could go out with. I don't know where you live or what your interests are, but where I live in Southend there are still plenty of women your age who still go to music venues and pubs.
Do you have 'Street Life' in your area? Look it up. In my town it is very lively.

Ann sixty. Please make you D get out there while she is young enough to start Al over again. I wish my H had left me when I was younger.

Kacee I am so sorry for the situation you find yourself in. You need to widen your horizons and believe me
I know just how difficult that must be.
My D is only 50 and with teenagers and she won't even think about another re!ationship. I fear she will leave it too late and I worry about her,we are quite/ very old and will not be around to support her when the GC want to fly the nest.

Thank you esspee. I will be looking after my 2 youngest grandchildren in May ages 9 months and 2 years so getting a part time job is not an option. Looking into evening classes is something I will do. I am glad you found happiness.

Kacee, please consider making new friends via the Internet. It doesn't need to be a dating website, (though I met my partner on one) perhaps a forum on a subject you're interested in such as gardening or take up a new hobby e.g. dancing or keep fit. Do voluntary work, get a part time job - anything to get you interacting with other people. There are very many lonely people out there. You have so much to give so chin up, move on and live your life to the full.

I do have family. I am 61 With 2 daughters and 5 grandchildren. They offer to take me out in the day but the awful feeling in my stomach makes it so difficult. I walk around looking at how many women have wedding rings on. I am so so jealous when I see husbands and wives together. I know that makes me sound bad but at the moment I live for 7 or 8 at night when I can have a large vodka. I need to build myself some sort of life

I met my now husband when he was a patient our difficulty was that he was divorced and half dead and I was married. Somehow we overcame and here we are 37 years later.

kaceeI am sorry you are hurting at the moment,the future must be looking very bleak and lonely.Do you have family or friends to comfort you at the moment until you are feeling stronger

Kacee. You say that you were married for 39 yrs but you don't say how old you are. My late Mother in law was 63 when she found the love of her life.
Unfortunately they only had 8 yrs together and then she met another man that she cared very much for.

Married 20yrs when I left, I already knew my second husband he was a friend of my best friend and the two of them supported me through several difficult years before my divorce . Our friendship grew through those tough years and we've now been married 21yrs very happily.

Downtoearth, I am glad you found happiness. I told my H he should have left me years ago when I still worked and could have made a new life.

What a lovely story. My H has left me after 39 years. I am totally devastated and struggling to function on a daily basis. I miss him so much that it hurts. I also hate the thought that I will be on my own from now on. I don't have any friends to go out with, he was my friend and my life but he moved on to a younger model.

married for 26 years,I left my husband,I already knew OH as we worked in the same place ,got chatting became friends,we have been together 13 years in August

I left my ex after 25 years of marriage. I met my present husband 2 years later as I used to wait at the bus stop in the morning outside the paper shop he used to call in for his morning paper. We started saying Good Morning to each other and it went from there. I used to look forward to his car coming along the road. We got married two years later and have now been together 20 years. He is my absolute rock, a brilliant husband and I've never looked back.