DD2 has been with her partner for about 8 years and they have a lovely daughter aged 2 1/2, who will be their only child (DD2 has a rare inherited condition and suffered a terrible pregnancy so she doesn't want to go through it again).
DD2's partner is a truly lovely man, supportive and kind. He supported DD2 throughout a horrible court case, mental and physical health problems and has seen her at her lowest ebb. She is much stronger these days, and they are both excellent and loving parents who put their child first. Their daughter is bright, happy, healthy and a delight.
However, DD2 is committed to attachment parenting, co-sleeping and still breastfeeds. We were concerned that though this was far from harmful for DGD, it might not be great for DD2's relationship. We've offered to babysit but they don't take us up on the offer much and we can't have DGD overnight till she stops breastfeeding.
That's the background. Then, after a lovely family Easter, DD2 emailed to ask if she and DGD could stay with us for a few days soon. She said she and her partner needed some space apart as they were going through 'a patch', but they weren't actually splitting up. The idea is that they have time to think, and then will be better able to discuss and work through their problems.
I replied by saying that of course they could stay. I didn't ask for details or reasons, though I have a thousand questions. I am gripped by dread because of course I don't want to see them split up. DD2 is self employed, working freelance but doesn't earn a lot. She has had serious mental health problems in the past and still takes antidepressants, but she copes so much better these days.They are a lovely little family and I am bewildered and sad for them.
However I know i am jumping the gun and I hope they find a resolution to their problems. DD's partner has suffered the loss of his mother a few months ago and that could be a factor, but I don't know. Oh, and DD2 is due to have major leg surgery - further amputation - later in the autumn. I'm trying not to panic about that but....
My instinct is to ask questions and try to help somehow BUT I know that is the Wrong Thing to do. She hasn't asked my opinion. So I have asked nothing and will not do so, unless she wants to talk. I've made it clear we are here for her, for them all, and simply asked her to let us know if and when there is anything we can do to help.
My old anxiety, which had been so much better the last couple of years, has returned somewhat, but this time for a good reason. I don't know what else to do. This isn't about me, but when I'm anxious I find it quickly overwhelms everything and I am concerned that this will happen again. Then I'll be completely useless to support DD2 and I don't want that to happen.
DD1 is expecting her first baby in a couple of months' time, but this news has affected the euphoria of that somewhat!
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and if so, how did you cope, and were you able to support your DD/DS and their family? Did they resolve their problems and if so did they seek outside help?
