A beau for my daughter

I have a lovely successful unmarried son age forty. About to be forty one in two weeks. Would she consider an American?

Btw he has no ties. Only the kind you wear.

Sorry, can't help there sparkledeb, I have three daughters but I want to say I admire you for your coming on here to ask.....

Yes, good idea, sparkle. If a nice man materialises from a GN contact, how will you tell your daughter? Would she agree to meet him? Wish I could help but my 47 year old handsome, solvent son is already married with a family. Obviously I was only 12 when I had him.

nottooold
I can't help wondering how, once a suitable GN DS has been identified, the news would be broken to him that he has been lined up for sparkle's DD
I can't help feeling that expressing approval of one's DC's potential partners might signal the end of what might have been a beautiful friendship

Sparkeldeb - I sympathise, I too have a daughter of that age foot loose and fancy free, her father worries that she will be 'on the shelf' forever. My best friend has a daughter of 30 who seems to be of the same mind, we have suggested, but not to them, they set up home together and raise cats and knit in their old age

It's great that your showing concern for your daughter's happiness but how will she react when she finds out?
My daughter's friend is 29 has her own flat and car and no man in sight. I know she would be horrified if her mum tried this.

I agree with you nina but I would love to find someone for my lovely DS1 too!

I agree with you too nina but, like kitty I wish there was some way I could find a life partner for my lovely DD. She is 42 and lives alone in a lovely rented house. Well, not actually alone, because she has a beautiful little baby daughter. Which of course, makes it even harder for her to meet someone.
Looks as if many of us have single DC who want a partner. How to get them together?

I would gift wrap my 46yr old son in £50 notes if someone would take him off my hands?.
However I am very realistic and with one failed marriage and one failed long term relationship I couldn't give him a recommendation?.
PS he is a very good cook.

Mine might be a bit young for her at 31. He lives and works in a local hotel/pub. I would live him to find a life partner, but he seems happy as he is, so I think it best to leave him to sort out his love life for himself.

I understand how you feel, Indiana, but I doubt DD will take this very well. Nor anybody's DS.

Besides, if DD has a DD, then she knows how to find a man/relationship, even if baby's dad didn't turn out to be the right one.

True, it may be harder with a child, but many single people at her age have kids. In fact, many of the guys she meets now will have a child or two themselves and won't be surprised or upset that she does.

Do you have anything like Parents without Partners where you are? Has she thought about joining?

IMO, you need to trust her to figure this out. Be her sounding board, by all means, if you will, but resist the temptation to solve it for her. That's my opinion, anyway.

We could set up a gransnet dating agency for single offspring, but it wouldn't work unless they discovered that spark when they met. As a friend with an unmarried daughter of a similar age used to say, "You can take a horse to the water, but a pencil must be lead!"

Thank you , you know what it's like you love and worry about them so much and just want to make it right for her, I forgot to add that her two younger siblings have recently got married and then gone on to have beautiful baby boys, my daughter worked as a nanny in Paris for awhile and is great with kids, she would love one of her own, Hopefully one day. X

Oops! I see I mixed the 2 of you up, sparkledeb and Indiana! Sorry about that!

Sparkle, the comments about DD probably not taking this very well were for you since you're the one seeking a man for her here on the Internet. I'm sure I would have been mortified if my DM (dear mother) had ever done anything like that! (Ok, we didn't have the Web back then, but you know what I mean.) Yes, I know we all love and worry about our children, even when they're adults. But, unfortunately, I don't think there's much we can do as they get older but be there for them.

I'm sure it's hard for DD to see her younger sibs getting married and having kids "ahead of" her, especially since she's "great with kids." But hey, she could choose to work or volunteer with children. And in today's world, she could choose to have or adopt a child even without a husband or significant other. You may not like those other options and she may not either. But my point is, she has other avenues open to her if she wants to try them. Only she, of course, can make these decisions.

Indiana, naturally, my comments about DD having a DD and many adults in her age group already having kids were meant for you. While 42 is still "young" from where I sit, LOL, I don't think you should be looking at this situation as if DD were 21 and none of the guys she meets are ready/have had to deal with childcare yet. Maybe I'm wrong though.

My question about organizations like PWPs was also for you, Indiana. Perhaps DD has already looked into that. But if not, chances are, she will in time.

But, sparkle and Indiana, my suggestion to just trust your DD was for both of you. Meanwhile, I hope with all my heart that they both find lasting love. And I'm sure they will.

Oh Wendysue my comment above was really only lightly meant, just as a response to sparkle. I would never, ever try to organise my DD's love life, much as I would love to see her happily paired off with someone (note the 'happily' there!!).