Rude son!

They are a breed all of their own, aren't they, some young men. The friends he invited include a girl he had been out with and would like to again but she keeps saying no. Regardless, he persists every now and then in asking her back out. Poor chap, he really should get the message.

The other thing that works wonders, rubylady, is the acquistion of a girl friend. I knew my DS was serious about his new girl friend the day he told me he had been out and bought a hoover for his house. He had lived in it quite happily for 18 months without one.

I have cracked it though with the tidying up of my son's room! We have invited his friends over tomorrow for a Eurovision party and they are staying over so he has to clean his room now! Yes, result. Be nice really, they're good kids, and I've had my feet up all week having a bad week so some company and a laugh will be lovely.

Thank you to you all for your lovely comments. I will take that Mildred, thank you, I like the funny bit, I've always liked to make people laugh if I can.

I don't know if anyone else watched Piers Morgan last night about Women who Kill but he was with this young woman who had had a hand in murdering her mother and two brothers. Her dad got shot also but survived, thankfully. He, because of his faith, has forgiven his daughter and the others involved. But best of all, he said he has forgiven himself as he blamed himself for not being able to protect his family. Listening to him helped me to put into perspective that I can do nothing about things now, and I did all I could at the time anyway so I am learning to forgive myself too. I didn't see my dad from Christmas to March so that is what gripes me but he didn't want to know, wouldn't answer my calls etc so I couldn't do anything if he didn't want me to, could I? I did phone the carers to make sure he was ok as well during this time.

Anyway, there are others on here who are coping with more difficult situations than I am and so I will endeavour to support them and get my head in order. Take care everyone, you are all very precious. X

Best to you, Ruby! My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

Hang in there ruby, you are doing really well despite everything!

Sorry not boxers, shorts!

for you. Hope you managed to get some more rest. Does sound like a very worrying and upsetting time all round. You made me laugh with the colourful boxers nursing home joke you both had.

rubylady I think you are a very brave, lovely, funny lady stop beating yourself up, you are having a very rough time we all have things that we would do differently if we could do it again but we don't get to rehearse life we just do the best we can.

Tension broke when I told him his shorts I had ordered had come. He thought I had ordered normal black ones, no, they are Hawaiian, yellow, bright with palm trees on! He told me that he gets to choose my nursing home!

I try to use humour most of the time. I'm not sleeping well, keep getting upset over my dad and generally feel rubbish just yet. I was wanting to talk things over with him as I have no one else but he has had enough of it all really. His friend's dad is currently going through chemo and might not make it, our other friend is terminal so it is probably quite frightening for him at present. Plus he doesn't like to see me upset and can't fix it.

I'm up due to feeling like I've got something crawling on me, itching, tingling sensations, jerking and shaking episode. All stress related I think, well, grief. I've not asked him to get up to be with me as he has work to be in for his A levels so he needs his sleep. I'll go back to bed (tried once) when this feeling calms down.

Thank you to you all for your wonderful comments, some made me laugh. I'm just on the "what if's. . . why didn't I do. . . I regret not doing. . . If I'd only done . . ." about my dad, but it's not going to change anything but it's still in my head.

Ah bless you Rubylady I feel for you sending you

Absolutely Mumofmadboys . Communication is the key or sometimes just ignore the behaviour, everyone has off days .
Jalima lol the tunnel !! I think 20 is quite optimistic .

Desperate measures perhaps?

Is it just me or would others find it hard if you are living with a teenage son as a twosome and you stopped cooking his meals and put his dirty clothes back in his room. It would make life very miserable for you both surely. Communication and negotiation are surely better washed down with a good amount of humour! It is important that the parent acts like an adult surely.

He is still 'in the tunnel' as DH would say.

They go into it at about 12 and don't come out until they are 20 (if you're lucky)

Ruby, yes it does us good to have a moan . Take the harsh comments with a pinch of salt , there are some very judgemental people who think they know it all , . Look after yourself and I hope you recover quickly from your treatment xxx

he needs to learn. If he doesn't do his share then, then ju st sort out all his dirty clothes and drop them back in his room. No ironing, just chuck it in his room. No meals made for him etc etc. Just withdraw YOUR labour. If he doesn't earn before uni then he soon will! Don't be soft with him

When my son came home after his first term at university he only had half his socks. He said he couldn't understand where they all went. It turned out he didn't know to spin the drum in the machine to check for socks stuck to the roof. My fault - I should have taught him that, and how to cook too.

For me, one of the delights of being a grandparent is to hear my grown up children saying to their kids the same things I used to say to them - don't leave wet towels on the bedroom floor, turn the lights off when you leave the room, don't run with your hands in your pockets, visiting museums is fun etc. You I think, YES, some of it did sink in! And they learned valuable life lessons along the way and are passing them on to the next generation. So satisfying.

Oops, sorry, forgot I was waiting for my daughter to get back to me re what they're called! I was concentrating on getting the flowers right!

It's "keyboard warriors" - ignore them!

xxxx

I totally understand where you're coming from with regard to "quite harsh comments. I posted something and some people totally misunderstood what I was saying and gave me both barrels! My daughter said they are called "
Please don't stop posting. It's good to get things off your chest. I have found it interesting reading your posts and amusing. I have been estranged from my son for 6 years (with a very fraught relationship before that too). I'd hate that to happen to you.

They do grow out of it and turn into lovely caring people.

My son was an absolute git at times when he was growing up and one of the things which most upset me was that he never said thank you for anything. Not for favours done, not for presents, not for lifts. Nothing. His father was too fearful to correct him about this but I used to say in a very neutral voice, 'You should say thank you when anyone gives you something or does something for you.' I didn't give him any big lectures abut gratitude or make a huge deal out of it but, over the years, something must have sunk in. He now says thank you, and seems genuinely touched on the appropriate occasions.

Hi rubylady, this is precisely why I seldom join in discussions as so many people get on their high horse about things and turn it into an argument.
Your son sounds like a typical teen and I am sure he is a great lad really.
Take care and make sure to look after yourself too. Definitely TLC needed here.

I can't tolerate rudeness from anyone. Not sure of the age of the son but a suitcase and a wave goodbye might be in order.