Support for those estranged from family members. Moving on together,

"If you had left me alone, I would have left you all alone"

How ridiculously childish this comment is?

Hello everyone, lovely to see that you're all doing your own thing and enjoying life as best you can.

Summer has always been my time, and I practically live outdoors. With this year being so poor, I have really missed this, and am considering a holiday with lots of sun. Since my illness though I have lost a lot of confidence, so am dithering a bit. We'll see.

The latest video from my son has had me falling about laughing. The little one is recently dry, and delighted with herself. However she has taken to going up to random people, lifting her dress and saying "knickers"! Obviously this is being discouraged, and she is being watched like a hawk, but seeing it on the vid was very funny. She is so beautiful, lovely long golden hair, and huge velvety brown eyes.

for all.x.

Madamecholet. (Oh Gawd, here we go again)

If you truly thought I was 'splitting hairs* by stating that I felt your comments were nasty, not you personally then you simply do not understand the vast difference between accusing a poster of making nasty comments and accusing a poster of being nasty i.e having a nasty personality. However it's possible I could revise my 'opinion.'

In fact you've revealed that, although you intimate in more than one of your posts that you can understand why certain people have become estranged, you really don't have a clue.
That's blunt and I make no apologies this time!

I would be surprised if anyone on this, or the other estrangement thread, knows anything of your own situation - if indeed you have one - as you don't 'interact' with others. Maybe your posts would go down better if you just showed a little of yourself and exchanged thoughts rather than throwing out insults (vis-a-vis Rhinestone for one example). You need to learn the difference between insults and opinions.
I recall you 'defended' 'Greenockgran' who suggested everyone on this thread was wierd and once asked 'are you drunk' -(no idea who that was intended for!) which I did find rather odd.

Maybe you are are just plaing Devils Advocate on here, but try a little humility MC - it might go a long way and people might 'listen' if you have any positive contribution to make, as you seem to do on general threads.

The thread is being derailed again. I'm not going to argue with you madame.

What no-one seems to be addressing here is the fact that Rhinestone’s unpleasant remarks about me were the start of all this. Do you think I should not have responded? If you had left me alone, I would have left you all alone, but you seem to think this thread is some sort of “safe space” where the regulars can snipe at other site members with impunity.

I can’t imagine why you think I must have a boring life Celebgran - I am happy to say nothing could be further from the truth! Are you suggesting that people only post on GN because they are bored?

That doesn't explain why you're reading it in the first place. celeb, you're not ignoring

Cholet it's like you can't help yourself? Boring life maybe?

Cholet I find it strange that you should turn up on this thread with usual snide comments can't u go play elsewhere ?

Oops forgot my end advice and sugarpuff s ignore?

It's a good job I did read it, or I wouldn't have known that Rhinestone was "having a go" at me and I will always defend myself when attacked.

Perhaps your question should be "Why are posters bringing disputes from another thread on to this one?"

Why are you so bothered whether the posters move on or not madamecholet ? Why are you even reading this thread?

Smileless, I think you have to agree that you were all being left alone on this thread until Yogagirl brought up what she called “nasty uncalled for comments” on the other thread, closely followed by Rhinestone (who had announced that she was leaving the other thread) just continuing her argument over on this one. Incidentally, before ridiculing my post, Rhinestone, it might be a good idea to make sure you understand what I actually said. The point I was making that Fairydoll was splitting hairs by saying that she had not accused me of being nasty, but merely said that my comments were nasty. The “thanks” part was irony, but as it is not something widely understood outside the UK, I’ll let you off that one.

This thread is titled “moving on” – if only!!

Well said Smilless but I think cholet exists to try and provoke reaction why else would one post such nasty offensive comments?

Very sad. I believe it was sugarpuff who said ignore or was if Fairydoll and that really is the best advice,

Well done for emailing gnhq I also made it clear that it was grossly unfair to not delete the offensive post by penstemon where she claimed I caused my estrangement.
Instead they deleted whole thread.

I was so pleased to read whe in Ireland how well the new thread I starred was going and do hope it won't be hijacked again and keeps free from the vitriol of before.

Of course people don't always agree on a forum but agreeing to disagree is best not Downright nastiness as you rightly said Smilelss

No of course you haven't Pollengran. I've read your posts on the other thread and I'm glad that you've found it so helpful. I've also found it so.

There's nothing wrong with a difference of opinion on any thread. I've posted there myself a few times and as I said in one of them, the subject of estrangement is an extremely emotive one and it isn't necessarily what's said that can be offensive but the way in which it is said.

I think there's a clear distinction between straight talking and offensive posts. I thought Yogagirl's was the former and Madamecholet's the latter. To say we've been left alone to endlessly sympathise with each other is offensive. Yes, this is a support thread and disagreements do happen from time to time but are voiced respectfully.

You and I have now had a perfectly reasonable and polite discussion where we've expressed our different opinions without causing offense, it's such a shame when others seem unable to do so.

I hope you don't mind me putting my tuppence worth in, as the other thread has been an eye opener for me.

It seems to me that people there are giving an opinion, and it's not always what people want to hear. I think that is healthy and thought provoking. This thread is for support and that one is not, so posters here may be used to sympathy and then get offended if another poster does some straight talking which may not suit.

I think it is a good idea to separate the two, and the kind of responses given.

When I read the post from Yogagirl I felt it was inviting a response, and Madamecholet is entitled to give one. Maybe best to keep away from from the other thread if it going to upset the people who are used to posting here. As I said, just my tuppence worth and I hope I haven't offended anyone by giving it.

I'm intrigued madamecholet. You seem to hold this thread and those that post here in contempt yet you don't seem to be able to stay away.

It wasn't any of the regular posters on here that fueled any unpleasantness on the regrets about estrangement thread. I've made several posts on there because after all, this is a public forum and GN's are free to contribute to any thread. Fascinating isn't it, that although we are unjustifiably accused of wanting this particular thread and those that came before it 'closed', you've referred to those of us who have posted there as "migrating over to that one".

Not only do you seem to be unable to stay away from this thread, you just can't resist mentioning it. Before any of the regular posters on here had even posted, you found it necessary to refer to this one.

"You have all been left alone on this thread to endlessly sympathise with each other"; apparently not. I don't know why you find it necessary to be so unpleasant and TBH I find it hard to believe that any thread to which you contribute goes "along very nicely". I emailed GNHQ following the deletion of the previous thread and pointed out that the posts regulars had taken issue with weren't simply offering an alternative point of view, and weren't being taken the wrong way, they were nasty.

Rhinestoneforgiving and forgetting aren't easy things to do, so perhaps you could just put it aside for the duration of the visit. I'm sure your DH will appreciate you doing your best. Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend.

Still no news about the move Yogagirl. All very frustrating still Mr. S. and I are going to see the new house tomorrow afternoonand I'm really looking forward to it.

You've had so much to contend with Mumsy and yet "...if she did visit I'd be polite and take everything with a pinch of salt". I'd need several sacks full of salt I'm afraid to deal with a visit from our ES. for you.

Celebgran, you have all been left alone on this thread to endlessly sympathise with each other, but when other posters start talking about me, I consider that an invitation to join the discussion. I do feel sympathy now for relatives of some of the posters on this thread – as it is clear that even when an argument has blown over, you just can’t resist dragging it up again.

Rhinestone sorry too for your friend passing sometimes we do need to just switch off,

Rhinestone good see you posting.

Yogsgirl I wasn't t sensible did lot gardening yesterday and acquacise today so knees v painful may have little rest ??

Rhinestone I love dancing and. Music and seems sad you don't feel you can now
IT really cheers me up. Especially at our local club as we have so many good friends there.

Smilelss do hope things soon go through for you

Today ran into elderly neibor who was estranged from her son for years, they eventually reconciled tho things never go do with D I law she said e very give up hope or sending gifts.

Sadly I guess I have given Up hope and this was first year I didn't send our dear oldest gd gift but did send nice card, it is so very hard to know what is best action.

I have t written anymore to ed since their wedding. Anniversary may 19 and cannot see any point as everything is always ignored.

I hope and pray she is recovering well and able caref or little ones again and would adore to have heard from her but seems another olive branch bites the dust.

Omg cholet have just read bits of other thread wasnt aware of it naving been away and busy can see telltale signs of posts deleted, please don't start on this thread it going so well.

We really don't need you

Yes, the other “estrangement” thread was going along very nicely until some of the regulars on this thread migrated over to that one. However, you all back on here now, so all is well!

Rhinestone, its not easy to forgive or forget I couldnt personally beacause theres been too much damage to me mentally and physically ( re my poor health ) but it depends how bad the situation was to forgive and forget. I dont trust my daughter one iota! but saying that if she did visit I would be polite and take everything with a pinch of salt!

See your daughter even if it doesnt lay things to rest that way she cant come back at you saying you refused to see her, its just one day go with the flow!

Rhinestone forgive & forget, for your DH sake and for you, she knows she did wrong, so hopefully she will be more thoughtful in the future. If only I had that chance with my estD, it's been so long, almost 4yrs now

YogagirlRegarding the same person on the other thread who made mean comments as on here ---I had to laugh as she thanked someone else for not saying SHE WAS NASTY but that just her comments were nasty. Like making just nasty comments is okay.
So ladies I have a dilemma. Maybe you can help me. My stepdaughter is coming back to town for a visit. She told my DH that she and her boyfriend of 23 years have one day to see us. I'm having a difficult time wanting to see them after her not allowing her dad to see her in October and lying to him. She said she didn't have time as the visit would be all about the memorial for her boyfriends dad. We were not allowed to go to the memorial . She said if others saw us they would think we were there to see her. And yet there she was on Instagram at our little grand holds birthday party we weren't invited to. The son of our ESS.
My DH calked her out on it and they made up.I don't trust her and don't care to see her or her boyfriend. Yet I know I probably have to do this for peace. I have never had a problem with her but she does live 3000 miles away.Any thoughts?

Ruby

Hope your ok Smileless any news on your move?

Celebgran hope you've got your feet up after all that dancing at the weekend

So sorry to hear about your good friend passing away Rhinestone you did the best thing, hibernating, hope your feeling better today

Been reading that other thread on ' Regrets about estrangement' 9pages of it, very interesting. I thought it such a shame that towards the end the poster [or two] that got 'our' thread deleted was on there and making the same unkind and at times nasty uncalled for comments!

Hope you all had a good weekend Luckylegs Rosy Fairydoll and all

Smileless Selling a home and buying a home are on the list of stressers in life. Even though it is a happy place it is also not without tension. It will be so delightful to have a new environment and with that comes a new lease on life.Good luck!
Another friend has passed away on Friday. We were both divorced around the same time and our children were friends. I spent the weekend watching all the episodes of Bleak House and Mr. Thorne. I just needed to do nothing and I didn't even get dressed. I feel better this morning.
Celebgran How I wish I could be like you. I was always the dancer and never could get off the dance floor. I cannot remember the last time I danced or even felt like it. Gee. I hate the way I feel sometimes. Good for you to keep going.
Hope everyone else had a good weekend.