Support for those estranged from family members. Moving on together,

A day Celebgran? Please don't flatter yourself - it was the work of moments using the search facility whilst watching Harry Potter last night with my family.

There was unfairness being exhibited towards another poster on this thread. I, along with several others, corrected the apparently flawed recall. So please don't try and shoot the messengers, we didn't write the original post.

Wendysue made a relevant comment from this thread. Yoga did not do the same did she? Are you not going to apologise you Wendysue for your rudeness to her?

Wow! You're messing with gransnet royalty wendysue

We are all human bibbitymand yogagirl is pointing that out! People in glasshouses springs to mind

Or let's get biblical judge not that you be judged

Yogagirl and yes fairydoll ornsorry whoever said it hownsad to have so little else to do o New Year's Day?

Katek I do feel for u your life must be so empty.

We had amazing New Year's Eve and just off to join friends for drink.

Do hope 2017 doesn't see return of nastiness on here yogagirl?

Wendysue I really feel you dont intend to br difficult and for katek to spend her day looking for old posts is unbelievable. Things change a year is a long time.
However if things are going well who o. Earth would mention a time when they weren't ?

So...she's human. OK.

So did Celeb.
That's a brilliant level of pettiness you've exibeted there Yoga. Interesting.

As said Bibbity Wendysue gets it wrong a lot!

So Wendysue makes a correct statement. Celeb is rude to her and dismissed her statement. Multiple people come forward to show that infact Wendysue was right.

What does your random statement have to do with anything related to this Yoga?

Well as we are 'copy & pasting' Here's one for Wendysue from the other thread we are on, showing she doesn't always get it right:

Wendysue read the posts, OP has already 'cut out' her m.i.l & f.i.l, the planned Xmas week together was cancelled and 'courage of OP husband needs to read: brainwashed!

Celebgran

I am an estranged parent and can empathise with the pain those of you in estranged relationships are experiencing, it hurts, I know it does.

I sometimes drop by on Gransnet, it helps me to read forums such as this one and not feel alone in my grief.

I don't comment because this is a public forum, anyone can read it by entering key words into any internet search engine.

Whereas on the one hand an individual has the freedom of speech, yes ! Free to write and say what they like, I agree. On the otherhand these screen shots of Celebgran's earlier posts from over a year ago proves that once something is written on here it stays on here, it stays on the world wide web for all to see.

I do feel for those of you hurting right now, both estranged parents and estranged adult children but am amazed at the content of conversations posted PUBLICLY here and the possible implications of slander, defamation of character and maybe further family members cutting you off if they read what some of you write about them here !

For instance, not singling any one out here but there have been incidents (and this could be proven on screen shots or by just reading the whole thread) where members have made derogitory comments on a public forum about close friends, non estranged family members and neighbours - what if these people saw this, they might, they too might come by this public forum and see the awful derogatory comments made about them, some actually identified.

If I was one of these people and read such derogitory comments about me on a publicly viewed forum I'd not want any relations with the writer.

I sometimes ask myself are one or two of the regular posters here deliberately using this forum as a means to harass their estranged adult children, that they want them to read it ? I can't think of any other reason why anyone would want to come here publicly and post ????

Yes, there is an element of support needed, of course there is, but why not set yourselves up privately to support each other ?

This post is not intended to offend anyone but is just to highlight that once you write something here, it stays here forever and ask yourselves, if our estranged adult children read some of the things we write aimed directly at them, would our comments truly endear them to want to reconcile their relationship with us ? I very much doubt it, quite the opposite in fact, if they read some of the things written about them here I feel it would only breed further contempt and push them further away.

Why was it unnecessary? Wendysue was being accused of being uncertain with her facts. She wasn't.

No , just pointing out inconsistencies in another post which said someone was not telling the truth and berating them for it.

KateK

Was that really necessary?


Maybe you've got nothing better to do early on New Years Day...

SAD

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I find it helps to give DS money for things only he can use. There is no splitting his clothes, his work phone, his office equipment.

Should have read, lost someone not do to e, yes it is the I pad not me but I don't read back before I post. Will do better.

Celebregran has had a very bad year in particular with her health, I am glad she enjoyed her Christmas, always a bad time when you have lost do robe.
Happy new year to everyone.?

Don't let the false memory spoil things. I remember something about your son fetching fish and chips and drinking out of the glasses like bottles. Also your room not being ready. I am so pleased for you that this year was really enjoyable but please don't insult us by insinuating that we don't remember.

I also remember last year you posting about your horrible experience visiting your son.
You went into detail about how cold and unwelcoming your DIL was. And how rude it is not to cater to guests.

Wendysue I dont really think it helps to offer negative remarks from a year Ago? Do you?

Especially,when us are so uncertain of your facts

Hope u don't mind me pointing that out.

My son and his partner share most stuff and yes I think u have confused me with someone else.

Nah, I didn't say that you said DS's partner "NEVER COOKED" for you and DH. I said "rarely." In fact, in the past, I recall your worrying that your "poor son" had to do everything when you two visited but that it was very different when HER mom came to stay (unless I have you mixed up with someone else - if so, I apologize). When I suggested they might have a "yours/mine" policy ("You take care of your family, I'll take care of mine"), you seriously doubted it...

And I guess you were right cuz this time, SHE did the cooking. And, apparently, you had a very good time! So that's a plus - and that's how my earlier post was meant, as well. Sorry if it didn't come across that way.

As for my post in the other thread, I've already talked about that. But here, I'll just say that it's about a possible last resort in the future, regarding a MIL who seems to try to take over everything and causes endless drama. Nothing like most of the moms/MILs in this thread who appear to be very caring and reasonable.

As for why I come in here, I've said it before - "There but for fortune..."

Yoga girl ???.

It does seem Strange for wendysue to do that however I have not read post.

Not sure why She posts on here as is not estranged but of course everyone is welcome and she had made valuable contribution at times,

I was not pleased to read the post saying my son's partner Never Cooked for us?
That was not the case but if it was I feel inappropriate. After the wonderful time we just enjoyed.

Yogagirl it is is damn hard but count your blessings, it is what it is and. We pray one day we will see our estranged ones again but we must not let it destroy,the wonderful things we do have.

Happy new year to us all 10 of us are going to dance.

My gp was wonderful yesterday so kind and helpful showing me diagram of back and how my nerves are,affected.

Xmasgran thanks for your concern, not being at work has given me lots more time to come on here and read and post on other threads as well as this one. Yes of course Xmas time is now the sadness time of year because you think of how happy it should be with all your AC & GC. My estD has turned the most wonderful thing in the world, having GC, into a living nightmare! My Son joining them has added to the heartache and I worry about him so much, so much!

I'm very lucky to have another daughter, who is a kind, gentle and considerate daughter, living nearby, that has given me a wonderful little GD and a reason to live. My s.i.l is lovely too, we get on well, in fact we are celebrating new year all together tonight and this afternoon we are going into London to have a meal with my prev. in-laws.
So everyone will be pleased to know, I'm busy all day & evening, so will be giving GN a rest..Hurray I hear you all cry

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL

Thanks for the defense, Xmasgran and Momof3. Clearly, the case in the other thread is very different from the ones that come up here, and yes, I only spoke of a CO as a last resort if it ever becomes necessary.

Eddiecat & Rosyglow, I'm so sorry to hear about what you're facing! Lots of (((hugs!))). I may be wrong, but it sounds as if your DILs are very controlling, emotionally abusive women. That would certainly explain why marital therapy didn't work for your DS and DIL, eddiecat. From what I've heard, abusers often try to manipulate therapy sessions.

As another poster said, I hope your DSs leave these women, eventually, and manage to get joint custody. Also, if they get joint custody, they'll be able to bring the GC to you more freely.

Sorry you were alone on Xmas, eddiecat. But how thoughtful of DS to send you those videos! TG for modern technology!

Sorry Yogagirl you are being completely out of order with regards WendySue. She emphasised trying all positive routes before cutting the MIL off, you need to remember that all families are completely different. It
doesn't have to be a clear cut case of abuse in the case you're referring to the op is talking about herself withdrawing contact, after being driven to the point of distraction. Her husband can arrange to see his mother himself with children as and when they are involved