Support for those estranged from family members. Moving on together,

Have to start a new thread now

Wow if we both book we get £15 each apparently?! Not sure if from website?

How exciting! Xxx

Don't panic Celeb. Just seen your messages and have booked the same hotel. I'll be back on later.

Oh yogagirl did I know her?
Send me pm with details
That is so tragic, same age as me! Omg

I have accepted will go to my grave without seeing my daughter as I don't think she ever really loved us, i a.mNot sure her personality is capable of it, I really want to try stop caring too but I find it al last impossible.
Our daughter is now fasting for cancer research however she doesn't know or care if her own parents even have it!
I wish it didn't hurt so and I could stop feeling so sad and upset, being ill seems to have made me regress ???

I've just heard some terrible news, the founder of the other web page on this same subject, died on Xmas eve, died very quickly of brain cancer. Never to be reunited with her beloved Grandson & daughter, her only child & grandchild! Sheri loved horses and had a horse for her grandson, waiting for his return that never happened She died of a broken heart! How does that make her daughter feel now!! She was only 61yrs old.

Hope u ok smileless no replies from pm

We have been positive and booked hotel for July!

Wish everyone peaceful happy day.

Dh gone work hol over, I have had right knee drained and cortisone jab but now been discharged??it's called nhs money for Foreign tourists but not for people in pain to have treatment for longer than 6 months!? I will. Wed go back gp when need more treatment another referral !?

I have made few phone calls and managed to get appt for spinal consultant for 13
Feb cancellation fingers crossed.

Smileless a anxiously waiting for yountonanswer we have decided on hotel for July!

Can't wait!

????for U so sorry your umhad few tears, sometimes it helps to release some tension dear friend, it is so very painful and I hate to think of you being sad, but we can't avoid feeling low sometimes because who the hell wouldn't when we have lost our much loved children. And not to mention grandchildren it would break anyones heart.

Thanks smileless! Think my back is protesting today!

Fantastic news yogagirl so pleased.

I too have good and bad news, good my ovaries scan clear, and mammogram!

Bad we are having v stressful day my scan was early then we met friends for drink who we should have gone on cruise with but they did go on a bit about it!

Now we are having major bit up I think it's so stressful. Being in so much pain and tempers get frayed. Dh just doesn't think I am on morphine today and without asking he gets me drink at club so daren't have any more morphine, he is so good at caring for me and it was just a blip but is hard sometimes. I didn't want cause fuss in front of friends and was great to see them,

That's great news Yogagirl, hope you'll have a nice relaxing weekend.

I take my hat off to you Celeb, I really do as you don't allow all your health problems to interfere with getting out and about.

*Luckylegs*. You're right of course, we do need to recognise our own self worth, each and every day. Our AC no longer wanting us to be a part of their lives doesn't mean that we're not worth knowing, we are.

Yes eddiecat, the link between emotional distress and health problems is well known. My brother suffers from irritable bowel and it's very unpleasant, he too says it gets worse if he's stressed; I hope yours soon settles down to a more manageable level.

Well I had a strange day yesterday. I don't know why but my ES popped into my head in the morning and that was it. I spent the rest of the day trying really hard not to think about him and doing precisely that.

Felt a bit better after I'd given in to the tears and had a little cry. It's weird how this whole business affects us. It was as if something had pulled the dressing off of my wound and it wasn't as well healed as I thought.

Smileless thanks for crosses your fingers,toes & eyes for me, you can uncross them now, as all went well

Welcome Boditree sorry you are in the same sad boat as us all on here, don't know your story [?], it would seem you have told it on another thread.

Hope your both feeling better today Celebgran & Luckylegs

Well my op went well, I was in at 7.30am and home by 2pm! I can't believe how well I feel, doing my class this afternoon and then two tomorrow, so I needn't have been afraid, I thought I would have been flat on my back for a week! It was a big endometrial polyp, which they took out and quarterized, just need the results to come back benign and I'll be a happy bunny Thanks for pm C

Eddiecat ?Spot on the enormous stress of estrangement has caused me a lot of health problems dh too. As u say v difficult to relax when estrangement hurts son and affects every aspect of our lives.

Luckylegs sorry to hear that and hope it isn't too serious ?Please post whatever problems we can share or help suport you over you have been so kind to me,

Is flood damage sorted? Hope so. It must be struggle cope on your own,

We had amazing afternoon with my dear nephew wife and little ones baby is six months now and soooo cuddly bless him. Little girl is getting sooo grown up she is four in May love them so much.

We off visit my friends mum this evening social day !

Feel relieved dh cyst not got be removed unless gets bigger.

Happy weekend all!

I have scan Sunday and knee specialist Monday all medical.
However we have show tom. Night and my dear hairdresser coming give me blo dry
Tom she only got six weeks to go hope and pray all goes well for her this time,!

I think there is a huge link between stress and ill health. I`ve always had problems with irritable bowel but it has gone off the scale since the estrangement from our DIL and grandchildren. Doctors say I need to relax more, try yoga etc etc but it is impossible to chill out when there is heartbreak at the back of your mind all of the time. Best of luck to you Luckylegs

Already posted on other thread to BoHditree and welcome, we are all here to support you.
I have finally had results of tests at hospital, from now on have to take medication and have an operation. Don't want to dwell on it because I know many, many worse off, Celeb for example has been through too much. I only mention this because I know I developed problems because of the estrangement, i did not look after myself as I should have and it wasn't worth it because I have just added another problem, in no way can worrying, trying to find solutions out of our hands help. Do all of you, please see your value and try to switch off.
Sending you all ???have a good weekend.x

I'm glad you came over here, also, bodhi. There's a lot of support in this thread.

Celebgran, good to hear you had some "amazing days." That's wonderful! Good that you're feeling better, too.

Welcome from me too bohdi. Wish could say it gets easier but in my book it's always going to hurt, we just kinda cope better. Most of time bee. 8 years for me.

I am rather stupid and semi friends of my daughter who don't approve of what she has done tell me stuff, it hurts,
Latest she is cutting out choc treats for feb she was always chocoholic in memory of nannynglasses s i law Gran I presume. However her own mum and dad are totally ostracised.

On bright note we had amazing ? three days away eve. Stayed extra. Night at g hall warners treated ourselves to garden lodge it was fantastic.
Rushed back today for my physio. And as I suspected waste time despite every ring I got a d explaining I was asked to go but of course This was wrong diagnosis last nov oh gosh I have been in pain a long while !

Yogagirl as in my pm all luck I. World and be anxious to hear how it goes. Big virtual hug. Xx

Smileless thanks for ? I am lot better this week despite a little falling out over jobs I get so frustrated relying on dh for so much he has been magic this week, i forgot my nail polish etc and off he went and chose some for me, the Downside of our posh lodge it was a long walk from restaurant and dining room.
Had use stick oh dear.
Good be back with Rosie posie and taken me some time get her freshened up.she is being groomed next week thank goodness.

Welcome b0dhiTree I'm so pleased that you've come onto this thread.

Estrangement is a very traumatic thing to have to deal with. It's something none of us ever expected to happen. When I think of all of the awful things that life could have thrown at me, this was not one of them. To be honest, I'd never heard of it before and when it happened I was so ashamed I didn't even tell my dearest friend for
about 3 months.

I'm sure that if I'd ever had the conversation with my ES that you've imagined having with your ED, his response would have been the same.

"But manipulative, possessive s.i.l. came into my life and that was that" the same for us but it was our d.i.l. It's almost impossible to believe that one person can come into a close and loving family and completely tear it apart.

When this thread reaches 1000 posts, it wont be possible to post here again but fear not, another will begin because as well as all of the lovely people, family and friends that we need so much, we also need one another; the friends that we've found on line.

Hello fellow estrangees. Thank you to Smileless2012 for pointing me to this forum. I am relieved to know I am not alone. I have had a number of traumas, including a murder, in my life but I can honestly say being estranged is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. The problem is that it never ends. I swing from hope to despair and from energetic to complete fatigue. I sustain myself with imagining telling my daughter this would be the situation between us in 2017 and her reply would have been 'I'd never do that to you Mum' but manipulative, possessive sil came into my life and that was that.

Everything crossed for you Yogagirl; fingers, eyes, toes (well sort of) and legs. Let us know how you get on.

So sorry about your cousin and your poor aunt. Mr. S. found out a few days ago that an old class mate friend had died, Mr. S. had been best man at his wedding. Same age just 63, it's scary isn't it, we have no idea what tomorrow will bring which is why we need to make the most of today.

Thinking about you all dear friends.

Fingers X here, Yogagirl! Sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else.

My heart goes out to you over the bad news, too. And even more so to your poor aunt. I hope she gets past this but know she might not. Such a tragic thing!

"This Son's dying wish was to walk his D down the Isle, which he did just before Xmas, but with his immune system down, due to chemo for his cancer, it proved to be his end, he died on Xmas eve."

What a sad Xmas for his family. But there is a silver lining - he got his dying wish. Maybe that means he died a happy man. Prayers for his mom, widow and family.

Luckylegs nice to hear you had a good time out with your friends & yes it's amazing what things come to light about people. On loose women, Jane shared a flat with a gay college friends when she was a lot younger, he turned out to be her cousin, of all the people to choose to share a flat with! Turned out the sisters [Jane & friend's GM] were close when they were young, but then fell out and never spoke again. Jane & friend got them back together again after 30yrs [or more] of estrangement!

Heard bad news this morning, my aunt's Son died Xmas eve, she has taken it so badly, she is now in hospital, not eating & given up on life. He was her baby Son and even though he was grown with grown up C, he was still her baby boy. This Son's dying wish was to walk his D down the Isle, which he did just before Xmas, but with his immune system down, due to chemo for his cancer, it proved to be his end, he died on Xmas eve.

I am going in for an op tomorrow morning, hoping it's just pollocks, which they will just take out, but feeling afraid! All these years since this estrangement, I've wished myself dead, as the grieving for my beloved D&GC was too much to bare and now this, but I would never have wished myself a slow painful death from cancer, it would have been a quick job. So fingers X for positive result tomorrow.

On a more even keel now, but not sleeping, for a change not worrying about d, apart from blips, know there's no answer to that, but getting these jobs done after the leak. The older I get the more these things bother me. It is a case of mind over matter. Had a lovely day out yesterday with a few friends who know nothing of my estrangement. I sometimes wonder if we really know another person, there must be lots like me who keep things hidden.
Love to all coping with this awful problem.

Thank you Yogagirl all we can do is try our best. Addiction and drinking when looking after young children is iffy at best. Hope it all gets better.

Have a good week ladies .

Celebgran so sorry you are feeling so down to try and cheer you. How very odd how the pic of you and Tor fell out the cupboard on her birthday when you needed a hug from her, you got a pic instead

Well done Sparklygran