Am I doing the wrong thing?

I agree that sex, or its withholding, should not be used as bargaining ammunition. And as for using it to get a new car - words fail me!

To the OP - if marriage is very important to you then you need to have that discussion again. Do you want to stay with him if he still says no? - that is the bottom line.

Horses for courses * Gonon* - that's not my style and never will be .

Sex for me is not a currency. I don't barter with it, I don't sell it or myself and I certainly don't want a new car from it.

BUT that's my opinion - you're entitled to yours.

C'mom NanaandGrampy us women have been using it for years as my brand new car that's parked on the drive will testify.

That's such a sad situation.

I'm not sure if you will like my first comment but here goes - sex is not and never should be a weapon.

Its fine not to have an intimate relationship for many reasons but to withhold sexual contact to get your own way?

I'm sorry that just doesn't sit well with me. You must also ask yourself - if he feels no intimate connection , no kissing and cuddling how does he maintain a close and loving relationship with you and from that wish to be married to you?

So , having said that , you have every right to be upset and disappointed but I think Rose has a very good suggestion. If it just the marriage you want and fuss and furore doesn't matter to you then that seems an excellent way to get your point across to him.

I hope you find a middle ground that makes you both happy.

I understand and sympathise with you.Sit down with him, take his hand, and tell him that you know that it doesn't matter to him, but it does to you, and would he do this 'just for you' and say that it need only be you and him at the registry office, plus a witness.No fuss, or expense.?