Making friends/ what is the best way?

Catlover. How very odd. Is your husband not capable of making his own friends!.
Is he a shy person or what?. You could join some clubs, bridge, golf, bowling. There are gardening clubs, book clubs. These are the kind of places you are most likely to meet couples.

Suggesting that you go out and find friends for him is absurd and sad. Time has moved on. You have your friends and you must hold on to them and your DH must find other ways of making friendships for himself. There's always adult education, loads of things to do. Push him into doing things for himself.

Oddly enough (or is it?) I often do like my friends' husbands and get on well with them as couples. But that doesn't mean it always has to be a couples thing.

It is difficult when you move away from friends. Some friendships survive, others don't, but it's not the same as seeing and meeting up regularly. So somehow catlover you do have to rebuild your friendship base and it's much harder when you're older.

There's not the same natural opportunities such as work colleagues becoming friends, parents of your children's friends and so on. You do have to go out and find them.

Best of luck.

Just wondering, do you have to help your husband to dress in the morning?

My husband and I were members of the Caravan Club and Camping Club and attended rallies with both clubs and made friends with many couples.

Meet-up is a great site for doing almost anything imaginable and, as it says, meeting new people.

As well as going to/joining things together, do encourage him to join some sort of interest group (or groups) on his own account. If this involves developing an existing skill,or sharing knowledge, he may well find he has much to contribute as time goes on. This will build his social confidence, and you may then be invited to join occasional gatherings (such as those organised before Christmas!) where, for once, he is in a position to introduce you to new people he likes. You can then take things further if you find you want to do so.

You could try having dinner parties. Or drinks? Or card games etc.

Think it can be difficult to make friends when you move as people who have not moved often have "enough" friends. My recent experience is that A) it takes longer than you think
b) join things because you enjoy them and if you make friends that's a bonus c) don't be joined at the hip d) take the initiative-someone has to make the first move. If you do think you like someone, suggest something low key such as coffee or a drink at 6 so no need to feed him/her/them. Good luck - it ain't easy but no one will come looking for you unless they know you're there

The WI is a good way to make new friends and get to know a new location. My WI friends were so supportive when my DH died recently.

When we retired 14 years ago we both followed our own interests - WI, flower club for me, men only lunch club and various wildlife groups for DH. However there are other groups we both belong to - gardening club, fine arts society, club with an after dinner speaker, etc. As we live in a small town many of the attendees are the same people, so we have got to know people both as individuals and as couples. We now have more friends and acquaintances than we have ever had, and never go to the shops without seeing someone we know. But you have to be brave and both make a start.

No-one's mentioned the WI and I don't know why I am because I'm not a member. However, most communities have one and according to my friend (who is a member) it is an excellent way of getting to know other women. I have some sympathy with the OP's husband as I think women are often more sociable and find it easier to make conversation. Poor chap, he sounds a bit desperate. If he can't face joining something on his own such as a bowls club, golf club, book group or whatever, perhaps he should consider volunteering - Citizens' Advice or the local hospital. That way he would meet a wide variety of people, some of whom might turn into friends.

Sorry to say I thought of car keys too
I've always managed to find a "best friend" in all our many moves, but can only think of one where husbands were friends too. And they were work colleagues.
I don't like my present friend's husband, and he and mine hardly speak.
I think women need a close friend more than men, to share moans and groans. Especially if we haven't got sisters nearby.

go to your local bowls green and join up you will find friends have fun and keep fit all at the same time.

DH and I have friends as couples, sometimes I like one half of them!
Since I retired many friends from work come to visit,which I love, but if DH is home he comes and sits with us and totally takes over the conversation, it is SO irritating, as my friends have come to see ME, and talk to ME, when its time for them to go home, I wonder what WE talked about,DH is satisfied as he was the star of the show, can anyone suggest anything to help please!

Do you have any shared interests ? if your husband or yourself were in any of the services, the RBL in your area probably has activites you could join in, and a shared interest in a service (Navy, RAF, Army) could be some way to get started....or a wine club, if that would interest you ? Best thing is to find out what's on offer locally (from notice boards in the library, local paper, etc) ...any volunteer work you would like to do together > etc etc ....it is difficult when you move to another area, but it can be done, but not instantly ! good luck

That's nonsense that women are better at making friends my grandson makes friends with everyone his sister is very private and finds it much harder, as others have said its not something you can persue you either have things in common and it grows or not It sounds like he wants you to do all the hard work and then just tag on and expect the husband to be his friend Nah I d just plough on making new friends and if their husband wants to get included on fine .... if not .........

He says " it is too difficult for him to make friends". Friendship takes hard work, perseverance, shared activities, and a genuine interest in other people along with being willing to listen. It doesn't come on a plate, and no one else can do the hard work for him, not even you. You clearly know how to do this, so please don't deprive yourself of the joy of friendship. And, in due course, one of you will be faced with a solo life, when the friendships you have nurtured will sustain you. Sorry to sound harsh - good luck.

How about joining the local activities? I met lovely people when we moved to the village that way. Or look it up in the library, post office or even the corner shop for leaflets on "what's going on". I would aim for having a good time meeting new people rather than concentrating too much on who you want to be friends with. That will come later when you get to know the group better. Better still if you have a dog, which I don't, but was told by a few people that was how they meet lots of friendly dogs walkers in the village.
Good luck! Getting to know people and ends up becoming good friends take time. Enjoy your new home and have fun. By the way...strangely enough, whenever I am weeding in my garden...it never fails to amaze me how many people actually stopped and chat with you.

are you both up to walking, as joining a walking group is a non threatening way of socialising with men and women together?

If you want to make friends with people that you are both going to get on with the best bet might be to find a common interest, or something you want to try together, and join together. Could be anything from joining a bridge group to learning to kayak.
However this should not be your only source of friends. It always appears to me to be a huge mistake for retired people to go around joined at the hip. If you ever find yourself on your own (and 50% of us will do so) then it is possible that you may no longer be welcome in a social circle that is based on couples.
I moved 3 years ago and have made a lot of acquaintances and some lovely friends by joining a community choir, joining a political party and going to Welsh classes. U3As are also goo - you could join with your OH but get involved in different groups.

But I like it!

You are very naughty!!!

lol @ Badenkate, I was thinking exactly the same thing!

Sorry. For some reason my mind went back to the 70s and car keys

I think he is asking the impossible. You can't just go out and get friends. Think the advice to pursue your interests and see if a friendship develops from there is the only way. Sometimes you might meet a couple on holiday that you get on with. You have each other and I am sure friendships will develop along the way.