Sorry rather a long story - I'd appreciate your thoughts please. We have been married 29 years and it hasn't been the happiest marriage, but we have stayed together. We don't have a lot in common, he is getting more insular and unsociable.
What has brought things to a head is our oldest son.He went to Australia 7 years ago, travelling, and unexpectedly after a couple of years met and married there. We went to the wedding.
It then turned out that she was severely bi polar, and after about 2 years they split up. He had supported her money wise and in all ways but she wouldn't take her drugs and eventually it was too much, she was attacking him etc, causing him problems at work etc.He then had a bit of a breakdown, and left his job and went travelling, as e didn't know what to do.
Two years later he came and visited us for first time in 7 years this January and stayed for 5 weeks. Since then he's been in Europe with friends. He wants to go back to Australia early next year, to get his citizenship, but before then would like to come and stay with us again, may be for 2 months or so. We had a long phone conversation the other day, he said he is a bit lost and down and doesn't know what to do, he has lost all enjoyment in life, he was in tears at the end.He feels he doesn't belong anywhere.
I said just come to us, and we'll be there for you, so he's booked a flight. My husband does not want him to stay more than 2 weeks, he says he's an adult now and can't keep coming back here. I said it's possible I won't see him again after he goes back,as we can't afford flights and nor can he.My OH says he can't keep dossing around and must go back and get a job and sort his life out. My son feels in a state and not at all in a positive mood to go for jobs.
This has all escalated and OH is suggesting we have 6 month separation, and he feels I am unreasonable in wanting to molly coddle my son.He has never been a loving supportive father. Do you think I'm being unreasonable? I feel so sick about it all, I just want to help my child when e needs it (although he is 32)
