Missing grandson

Please, break you post up a bit, paragraphs etc, it is very hard to read!

However, I will go back and try to read it properly, as your post deserves a proper response

I am really really sorry that your going through this. Your obviously and understandably upset. I wouldn't recommend going through the courts. It's practically a none starter unless there is real abuse. I think all you can do is let things settle then take a deep breath and contact your daughter again. Ask if you can continue to see your grandson and help with the childcare but make it clear that you will keep your distance from them if that's what they feel is right. I hope that works and if it does you really do need to distance yourself from them as a couple let them work things out for themselves. Of course keep your door open for when your daughter sees the light and hopefully ends the relationship. Let us know how it goes. I know you'll get lots of empathy and advice here, but for now here's a ((((hug))) and hope that things will get better and a good cry. Xx

Thank you morethan2 all I can do is wait really.I am just really worried because gs has to occupy himself while she sleeps all day.her bf looks after him at night.
He does not know her bf and I don't either.
Her bf tried to drown his wife and got done for it.
He throws tantrums when he doesn't get his own way the bf not my gs.sorry phoenix first post.

Oh dear Pallmall what a dreadful situation for you I agree with Morethan I think you have to actually back down a bit and accept her bad treatment to be able to be with the little boy. However bad her treatment of you is I d take it just to save that little chap If the boyfriend is a convicted man it isnt safe for him to be looking after a child at night Personally I would swallow my pride and hurt anything to get the little boy back into your care I definitely wouldn't annoy the boyfriend or talk about him in bad terms to your daughter how ever much you want to. That little 6 year old has to be safe and he doesn't sound safe with your daughter and her boy friend

Pallmall1964 I had to work at separating your post into paragraphs to read it.

One thing first is that you said in the early part of your letter that She had met a man and was spending all her time with him leaving your GS at home on her days off. Do you actually mean leaving him alone in the house?

If so, that is quite unacceptable and it should be reported to the police when it happens.
You have had the police come to your house after she assulted you. The police should have routinely kept a record of this dispute/fight and sent a copy of the incident details to the local social services.

If these sorts of rows continue and in the presence of your GS it is very damaging and stressful for the child. He is the most vulnerable person in this situation.

From what you say this "boyfriend" sounds an agressive type.
I would be very concerned about his future behaviour towards a child that is not his.
As you have already had a visit from the police they probably have more information about your daughter and partner than they are allowed to tell you.

I think you should talk and write to childrens services about all your concerns and the incidents that have occured. You need to put it in writing and keep a copy of this.
If you have any other concerns about the way the child is treated you must report it.

If you do write please use proper paragraphs as it takes a long while to read the details when there are no proper spaces and it is important that any concerns are read as quickly as possible.

See a solicitor ASAP. You have an extreammly strong case for GPR. But only if you act very quickly. The longer you leave it the more they can prove you don't have a bond to maintain.
Your DGS is being abused but it will be very hard to prove and may be thrown our as a malicious report.

Some of the ladies from the estranged thread might be able to help. You could PM them.

I found your post awfully difficult to read too, but I did my best and can see that you are beside yourself with worry and I don't blame you.

Try to keep calm for the sake of your gs and move as fast as you can because it does sound as if he is in a troubled situation.

Keep posting.

What's GPR?

It's a very difficult situation, PallMall, try to keep calm and don't do anything rash.

If your GS is being left to fend for himself while your DD is asleep during the day sometimes (I'm presuming he goes to school during term time) she should certainly be reported to Social Services.

I think it's grand parents rights Ana

I m more worried about him being left at night with a man convicted of trying to kill his wife

Bibbity sounds as though she knows what she is talking about. Professional perhaps? Could be helpful?

I didn't think grandparents had any rights in this country, in law.

Thank you everybody.i will take your advice bibbity
I will see a solicitor Monday morning.

Grandparents don't have rights as such. They have a moral duty to promote the best interests of the child by reporting any serious concerns.

it's true that grandparents in England (don't know about Scotland or Wales) don't have rights. English law gives children rights and parents responsibilities. As Nellie says, grandparents and other people have duties to protect children. Your grandson needs you Pallmall, I'm relieved you've found this thread helpful, best of luck.

Grandparents may not have set in stone "rights", but I would think individual judges would decide a course of action based on the case put before them.

I would say, don't delay seeking legal advice.

Pallmall. You are in a very difficult situation. If your daughters BF tried to drown his ex wife and he was charged with it, then he will obviously have a criminal record.

I don't pretend to know how the system works but would advise you to contact children's services at your local town or county hall. I know you dont want to upset your daughter but it sounds like she is strongly under the influence of this new BF.
Your grandson is definitely being abused even if it's just mental abuse - at the moment.

Do you have a friend or relative who you can discuss this with? You clearly need guidance and you mustn't leave it too long. It really seems beyond trying to make your daughter see reason. Where does your husband stand in all this? You both need to be involved in trying to sort this situation. I feel so sorry for your little grandson. He needs help and he needs it ASAP.

Social services are completely useless,no wonder so many children are being killed.
I explained everything and they don't want to know.i feel totally despondent!
There is one bit of good news for me,she has always been good at paying her bills, and there have been lots of debt letters coming through my door for her.i know I should not of opened them but sod it.he is in to her pocket all the time and has even said that she will have to pay half the bills or he could not live with her.
When she attacked me she stayed with him for eleven days,he asked her for the council tax for those days.
One of the debts she has been ignoring is no insurance and they have issued a warrant so they will send someone to arrest her.
When he finds out about her debts and there will be no spare money for him he is going to get rid of her she will be no use to him.
When she does get arrested he is not going to help her and he has no friends so can't borrow the money off anyone.i think he may have the cheek to ask me,her dad has said he will divorce me if help her or have her live with us again.my dg is welcome here but after what she has done I agree with him.