My husband keeps buying me flowers

Stansgran, how about you shop on line if you are unable to go out and shop yourself?

My next door neighbour used to go shopping every Saturday morning - and his wife had no say in it. She had to cook, clean and 'do' with what he bought - and it was same menu every week, same day, same food. Steak night was for him, she and the kids had sausages

DH does all the shopping these days. I wish he would come home with an inspiring variety of things but he buys only what he likes. Somehow forgets what I put on the list or loses it we have an astonishing number of sausages ,mince, game casserole mix ,kidneys,sea bass, in the freezer but never ice cream or cake or ready meals.

Tell him if its not on the list it stays in the shop.

Tin hat time but Tiny is it not a sign of a guilty conscience?

My ex husband used to buy me garage flowers regularly but they were the cheap ones, pinks I think they are called, tiny carnation type, and I ended up hating the things. Same ones every time.

Now I buy my own, beautiful displays and bouquets online every so often. My next might be a beautiful Christmas display.

When DC3 was just born DH went out to do the shopping. I wrote
Squash - 1 orange, 1 lemon

He came home with 1 orange and 1 lemon but said that he wasn't sure what squash was.

My OH doesn't do flowers, but on the birth of our first child (probably prompted by his mum) he did order some to be delivered to the hospital. He arrived at visiting time and the sister said "these have just come for your wife, take them with you', so he had to bring them. The only bunch he has ever given me! I buy my own.

If you want him to shop for you give him a written list of what you want and enough money from the housekeeping to pay for what'son the list and no more, then any extra spending will have to come from his own personal spending money.

our husbands must be related. EXACTLY what happens here. Plus he has a default mode of buying enormous pork chops. Heaven only knows why. A couple of yrs ago I was driving back from my weekly visit to my very ill mother, a journey of over 3 hrs, I was exhausted, mentally and physically, it was pouring with rain and dark the whole way. I called him and asked him to have a stiff whisky Mac and a takeaway waiting when I got home. He said he would. After the worst drive ever I crawled into the house and there was a pair of raw pork chops and a glass of chilled white wine. I went to bed. He still doesn't get why I was upset.

enjoy the flowers, your a long time dead.

DS - an expert shopper - makes a list on his phone. If something crops up that he thinks may or may not be needed, he phones his wife. I don't think he buys her flowers very often!

A friend of mine asked her husband to get some Chicken Oxo - meaning chicken flavoured stock cubes.
He came back with a whole chicken and some beef oxo cubes!

Sit down with him in the kitchen (if you have a table in there) and make a list. Have him write it. Open the fridge and say (make sure he's listening - men have cloth ears!) 'We've got butter, cheese, milk. We don't need them. Just get.....a, b, c. The flowers you got me are still fresh/died within minutes, whatever... so don't buy flowers! Check his list in case he's written down the things you said don't get just because he vaguely heard you name them. In the meantime, see if your budget will stretch just once to buying some artificial flowers. They are pricey but these days you can get really nice ones. Arrange them and he will probably not notice they are fake. He's a man! Point out whenever you make the list that the flowers are still fresh.... If he likes technology, download a shopping list app, I use 'Out of Milk'. Then he can cross each thing off as he puts it in the basket.

I can understand your anxiety when you are on a tight budget. Men (not all and not only) do seem to shop differently but are you thinking his behaviour is inappropriate in a way that it has not been in the past (possible sign of dementia) or has he always been a bit gung-ho with the finances and left you to sort it out? If the latter I think you need to sit down with him and go through just what is available for what and how he thinks enough can be saved to pay for the occasional treat. However, some people including some husbands are not very responsible and that can make the other partner feel the full weight of the responsibility. Could you transfer some of this over to him or do you feel he would have you in debt before you stop him?

Lucky lady, my late husband of 42 years never bought me flowers, even when i had my 3 children. He did buy me chocolates, because he liked chocolates lol.

OH never buys flowers,thankfully as it would be those awful garage forecourt bunches .I would love a tasteful bunch occasionally but it never happens . But he also on his rare visits to the shops comes back with stuff/ gadgets we don't need . Last week he appeared with a new cheese grater even though we have two already ! New mugs are also his passion ,I have a cupboard full .

We do have cheer in our lives! But it is a tight budget and I think I object to his making the decision on our luxuries which means we (I) need to make cuts in other areas after one of his splurge shops. I do appreciate the sentiment and I'm always very appreciative of the flowers but I do hate waste and quite often that's what happens because he comes back with nonessentials or even things we have already sitting in the fridge.

Many men do this sort of thing - usually because they're not the main shopper and don't know what's at home.

Is your budget so tight that it can't accommodate an occasional bunch of flowers and nice ice cream?

Maybe he's trying to introduce a bit of cheer into your lives.

does he know the details of the budget? Maybe sit him down with the figures and show him where the money goes. Ask him to suggest what he would do to improve the cash flow??? I must say Aldi flowers are v cheap and v v good.

I would be grateful and blow the budget! My late DH didn't 'do' flowers. After I had DD1 I did suggest that some flowers on the next visit would be welcome. He returned with a bunch of drooping yellow chrysanths from the garage. I hate yellow and from then on I hated chrysanths . I should think in 38 years of marriage he probably bought less than 5 'bouquets' but he made up for it in many other ways so I shouldn't complain.......

My OH is a hopeless shopper - buying stuff we've already got, will never use, not buying milk or bread but loads of packets of different types of lentils and olives etc. I'd only complain about the flowers if they were those horrible cheap dyed crysanths , if they were flowers I actually liked I'd be pleased, as I always like fresh flowers in the house.

My DH very rarely buys me flowers but if I sent him to the local shop to pick up some milk or whatever he always comes back with a carrier bag full of stuff . Wine, fruit, chocolate whatever..... I avoid sending him unless I am up to my eyes with something important .
I don't think I would complain if he did bring back flowers.

I wonder if he thinks the budget is too strict? Does he agree with it?

Another thought - is he showing any other different behaviour? Dementia can start to show as unusual behaviour.

Otherwise, enjoy!

My DH often buys me flowers. I love it. Better now than when I'm 6ft under!

Enjoy. When you have no one buying you flowers you will find yourself wishing you had someone still doing that.No amount of home improvements/ updates can take the place of a simple bunch of flowers given with love. After all they don't cost the earth, do they?

Could it be he's blowing the budget because he doesn't want to go on holiday?

Sounds daft but it's the sort of thing my DH would do.