why is my husband so difficult when it comes to socialising?

My DH is not a social animal these days. He hasn't always been that way. We used to have anything up to a dozen friends in to eat regularly and the invitations were always reciprocated. Lovely, jolly, companionable (lengthy) evenings. Then some of our friends died and it kind of took the heart out of things for him. He didn't seem to be able to cope with the spaces at the table and just didn't want to do it anymore. Others felt the same and over time it kind of fizzled out. We see very few people outside the family and the invitations always have to come from me. We have friends we know from our service days that we still spend the day with two or three times a year as they live in different parts of the country. He just doesn't have the same need to be with people these days and he would pull up the drawbridge if I let him.

Yes must admit I've got less sociable too, really dislike people just dropping in I want to be prepared.
My husband has a large family and I don't so find I am much more self contained. Think it's a case of trying to find the happy medium maisie. We tend to go out for lunch with friends now so it's time limited and no extra work. .

Always said I wanted crocodiles in my moat Ilrina, .

Some people do not find it easy to make social contacts, others, dropped in a desert would have a large social circle within hours. It is something built into one's personality.

Perhaps, underneath, he really doesn't like the people you have a good time with.

Maybe he just does not like this couple, and you do. We have actually put all the lights out and crawled along the floor to avoid couples/neighbours in the past who think they can turn up uninvited (and ask to borrow our lawnmower as they leave at 3 a.m).

We are far too old to go through that nonsense now but we did used to do it so as not to cause offence, (or maybe we thought we should have friends).

Don't worry about not being invited back. People just can't be arsed with cleaning as Jane said. It's a different world these days.

I am the same, I loathe having people in my home( Son, Wife and GD apart), but un like Tanith if they do have to come for some reason I like to know in advance. Cannot be doing with people turning up unexpectedly, alot to be said for the old tradition of calling cards
. This is why I would love a castle with moat, drawbridge and portcullis Oh dear I really am antisocial lol

Exactly what Jane says, and yes, it maybe is because he never socialised much as he grew up.
Like most women, I do all the arranging to see friends/relatives, and DH if left to his own devices ( never let that happen!) would just potter about happily and not see anyone else for a month.

Maisie Maybe the ones who haven't invited you back are very busy or for some other reason don't invite people to their houses.

If your DH wants to see them, perhaps he could ring them up and ask if they'd like to join you for a meal out at a pub or restaurant.

I have to admit I do far less entertaining at home now. I prefer to go out somewhere with friends, then I don't have to spend the whole day cooking, making sure the house is clean and tidy, and then clearing up afterwards.

Can you meet each other half way?

I'm the same , rarely invite people round although if visitors just arrive I'm fine its the anticipation I can't deal with. I know my husband and some friends and family find it odd but I can't help it, I'm sure your husband wouldn't just do it to annoy you.

Maybe it's not a problem. Maybe he's an introvert. Perhaps he finds socialising with certain people difficult.

I'm like that.