how to please your husband

I've just realised that I'm the opposite - if he asks me to help him to do something I usually grumble and moan, or say 'Do it yourself!' Not very nice

Did anyone 'sneer' obione?

sorry about the spelling I have never typed this word before so Kowtow it will be in future.lol

Kowtowing.

We're a team. We help eachother. No cow-towing in this house.

I have come to the conclusion, that what works for one couple does not necessarily work for another and vice versa. If the end result is genuine happiness for both people, the method they use is not really very important, and shouldnt be sneered at by anyone else.

Nor me ethelbags ! Neither of us is a 'cow tow' type of person. Relationships are so much better when based on mutual respect.

that's one of the reasons I don't want a partner, I like to be independent. I do things for myself and yes I could do with a hand in the garden and with decorating but I will just have to pay, I couldn't bear having to cow tow to a man

I think everyone likes to know they are loved, needed, attractive, clever etc and so many use compliments as a means of keeping their partner 'down there'. I used to have a friend who once told me she and her fella' were going to a wedding and he looked handsome but she wouldn't tell him for fear he would get cocky ... the way I see it, if we don't make our partners feel loved, needed, tell them we are proud of them and how clever and handsome/attractive they are, eventually they make find someone else who does but it's got to cut both ways. If there's one giving and one taking it won't work.

Christinefrance: I'm with you. My husband only notices me when he wants some home cooking. He's not interested in anything I have to say- very sad.

Teddy123- no-one has mentioned perfection and endless bliss- every relationship has ups and downs. Just talking about being honest and 'equals' (as said, which does not mean 'the same' at all) - without pretence. That's all.

Thanks for the concern over our health. The good side is that what I can't do Mrs. P can and visa versa, so we can manage. WE are very much a partnership atm. Also I drive an automatic car, and as it is my left hip that is crook, I can still drive and we are both comfortable in the car. heading north for a family lunch this weekend. I have borrowed a wheelchair for Mrs P, not sure that has pleased her

I also live with a friend , more a lodger really but it isn't the real him.
There was some advice from Jerry Hall, about being a chef in the kitchen, something else I can't recall and ending with, and a whore in the bedroom. Looking at the two she landed it is not advice to be taken seriously.

Feeling rather envious of most of you contented Grans who seem to have such understanding relationships with their DHs. The only one I can relate to is the previous poster 'Christinefrance'.
That said I'm definitely a strong woman, delighted that I can cope with the absurdities of life.

Granjura you are absolutely right and pretence just does not cut it!
I just treat DH as I would like to be treated and he does the same for me, it works well and he is my very best friend. We help each other, pay compliments, always thank for kindnesses and work together on things which are easier with two pairs of hands. We agreed when we first married on total honesty and openness as well as asking plainly for anything at all without doing the irritating hinting thing.
As we are getting older we have had to do so much for each other as injuries, illnesses, age etc. dictate but all the above helps enormously. The only sad part is when either of us is no longer able to do all that we once could, either for ourselves or each other.

to Wobbly and Mrs P with best wishes for better health.

I have given up trying with Mr Grumpy Moser. You should see him pulling his face if you just ask him to move something heavy. He is largely concerned with his own interests.

I feel like I live with a friend, he's very chatty but totally undemonstrative, can't even remember last time I had a hug or cuddle, I used to ask but gave up, I shouldn't have to ask. He's cold. Will buy me anything I want, do anything I want but no affection. Quite depressing!

BRedhead59, I'm a man, but I'd have loved you Granny.

because in a trusting and equal (with all the differences- equal does NOT mean the same) - pretence isn't part of it (that is if I got that right Foxie).

foxie, why not both?

TriciaF sorry the soppy thing was nothing you said, just me with foot in mouth syndrome

The best way to please my husband is to go with him to a rugby match (often in the freezing cold!) Or
Go for a ride with him on his motorbike (but definitely in warm weather!)

No point in asking him to do any DIY as he is hopeless.
He has what he calls little man syndrome.
Get a man in to fix it !

He is brill cook and has cooked every meal for me this week since I had a foot Op.
And done so with good grace
So its a two way thing in our house

Christine - I didn't mean being soppy, I don't think anyone who knows me would ever say I was soppy. In fact I wish in a way I was more soppy.
I'm just interested in what pleases men because I didn't believe it before. And I hadn't realised how much it pleased my husband to feel needed.
He's often a GOG, and I tell him that, so I'm glad to have found a way of getting him out of it. Doesn't always work though.

Absolutely Tricia, BOTH is the keyword. And we both have our strengths and appreciate, respect and admire each other for them, Yin and Yang. But 'pretend' to be needy, no. I do need him often, and him me- as we totally complement each other. And its not about 'backing down, either- but honesty and trust. Pretence is not helpful imho.

I'm with granjura on this one. As a divorcee/ single parent,I made sure I and my two children became independent and wouldn't have it any other way. My partner also admires me for this .