Cheated on at 68

grannypiper LTB in Mumsnet is short for "leave the bastard".

nanaK54, what is LTB ? THANK YOU

Have not got anything fresh to add to all these wise words, but from personal experience I would say that broken trust, like broken glass can never be properly repaired. You have been decent and honourable, but he hasn't. Run for the hills dear lady.

Your title says it all really, you were cheated on. You have the proof and who knows how many other times he's cheated? Apart from the health aspect of him sleeping with another woman,you can no longer trust him, and that's not a great foundation for the relationship to continue.

Don't allow your fear of being alone to make the decision for you. You are a lovely caring person, who took care of him when he needed looking after and this is how he repays you. You have your pride and he has treated you with gross disrespect. You deserve better.

Keep walking towards the exit.

Definitely agree with the posters saying run don't give him any leeway at all chances are this isn't the first or last time but you were the one looking after him after surgery etc nah not worth, never be trust worthy now he's cooked his goose Kick him to the kerb but don't go out looking for someone to take his place that could be equally disasterous just have some fun doing your own thing with friends
good luck Mrs T

Swanny 'I told her I didn't fancy the milkman or the coalman so would have to go out'.

I would personally give him the boot - I couldn't cope with wondering if he was being faithful.

I have been on my own for over 3 years since DH died, no man around although I do have male friends,not sure I actually want a man although I enjoy male company, certainly would not move in with a man or get married again.

As others have said get out there & socialise, enjoy life

Yes, some good advice there, Mrs Trellis (PLEASE tell us you come from North Wales!) The fact is, you don't have to DO anything. Sit tight. Bathe your wounds. I hope he's kicking himself. You have the power, the upper hand. Do you have clothes etc at his place? [I send you flowers, but don't know how to do it!]

Agree with Teddy123 once a cheat always a cheat! You deserve better and there's someone better out there, in the meantime enjoy yourself with your women friends.

In that situation I would never trust him again. I would be constantly wondering what he was up to when apart. At his age he should understand loyalty and honesty. I would have to say "on yer bike".

Don't walk away - RUN as fast as your legs will carry you. A cheat is a cheat at whatever age. And my experience has shown that these OLD men want to be like the young guys ..... Sha**ing literally anyone who makes themselves available. His Viagra bill must cost him a fortune ...

Times have certainly changed with many reports of the increase in STDs in the older population. A visit to the clinic is a must!!

Sorry to be negative ?

I would invest my time and energy into women friends .....

I'd keep my distance. He's disloyal. It's easy to be sorry when
found out. Get yourself out there and meet someone else.
Good luck Mrs Trellis.

Perhaps this will seem far too flippant... mumsnetters have a term LTB...that's what I would be doing in your shoes.
Good luck with whatever you decide

Sorry to hear about this, Mrs Trellis. You must be feeling really "betrayed" after having been "partners" for as long as 2 years. How will you ever trust him again?

If you hadn't found them together, would he ever have told you about it? Is he capable of sustaining a relationship with only one woman at a time?

It sounds like you are attractive enough to find another partner so for your won self-respect, dump him now. He is not the only fish in the sea.

Do walk away. Established pattern for him....until he is older and feebler. Do you want to be the reliable one who nurses him in his dotage when he can no longer "get" other women? Good luck in your decision.

Hope you manage to sort this out. I don't think anyone in a relationship wants to share a man with unknown sexual partners both from the emotional point of view and from the personal hygiene aspect.

there is a lot of good advice on this thread. do hope you can resolve this.

Your choice - I understand not wanting to be alone or bothered to look elsewhere. So if you stick around its your terms.... Thank heavens you didn't marry, it would be much more difficult if you choose to bin him off. If you decide to continue with your relationship be very aware what that relationship now is - it's not what you thought anymore. Most importantly give yourself time, and make sure your eyes are wide open, whatever you decide your future is. I'm sorry for your troubles

You say he's sorry and still loves you so it would be hard to walk away. But the relationship isn't what you thought it was (exclusive).
Whether it was a moment of weakness on his part or a pattern of untrustworthy behaviour, only time will tell.
My impression is you do want to forgive him but you're not a pushover. As you're not married or living together you could continue as you are - only you know whether you can live with your suspicions.

Sorry for your upset Mrs Trellis but I think I would have a problem erasing this picture from my mind, old lech springs to mind. I too would recommend a health check.

My first thought would be a visit to the Dr to make sure I'm ok, if you know what I mean ....

then I would tell him to get lost!

I would have no more to do with him. Sleazebag.

Keep him as a mate. And,arrange future shenanigans of your own.

A relationship with him would be fraught with worries now and who needs that when life is full of other things? You don't want to have any STD or drama you want to relax and enjoy yourself. He burnt his boats with you, his loss.

His actions don't fit with the image of you as a comfortable trusting couple. It fits with you but not him. Do you really need him in your life? If not maybe easier to move on now, disappointing though it may be. Always best to have someone you can trust, that seems to have gone and what are you left with ?

Only you can decide, follow your gut instinct but realise the relationship can never be the same after his betrayal, up to you if you want to risk life on the egde so to speak?

I understand where other commenters are coming from, but in the main you seem to have a good relationship and if it was just a one-night stand thing, I'd stick with it, warn him that if it ever happens again that will be the end and try to forget about it. Good luck!

If he didn't want an exclusive relationship he should have been upfront with you.
Tell him to get stuffed and get on with enjoying life