Shall i

Blackmail does not sound a very good idea!

I don't think blackmailing her is the way to go , just send them to her house and then its all down to them whether he finds out or not. One way or another she needs to deal with it.

Oh gosh, that's a difficult one!

I fear though if you did try blackmail, tempting though it may be, it may backfire badly in the long run. It sounds as if her relationship is heading towards the rocks anyway and you could end up getting the blame and coming off worse and loosing contact entirely. You can only tell her the letters are with you and tell her to come and get them. (If it's when she hasn't got a babysitter and has to bring him, so much the better!) She'll be needing your support again soon enough.

(You really knew we'd be agin it didn't you!)

I think that this has been an ongoing story that I have missed out on so I don't know the background details.
I don't think ,however, that giving the new man the letters is the way to go. It could make things worse for you.

Thank you everyone for you quick replies.
She has changed her phone number so I can't get in touch with her.
I know blackmail is not the way to go but we used to be close before she met this monster.
I can not believe she is keeping my gs away from me it really is painful,as you all know.
I will stay away advice taken.

Why are County Court letters being sent to your house?

I hope you have some way to contact her, though. She needs to know the letters are there.

Definitely don't be tempted to let anything slip to the BF. It could all backfire on you.

The letters came here because she never left home till a few months ago.she just stopped paying them when she met him.

You need to be careful because your address is now compromised. If she has stopped paying bills and the CCJs are arrriving at your house you could be having baliffs to deal with before long.

I don't think she cares if the bailiffs come here as long as they don't go to her house.
She knows I have severe emphysema and chronic bronchitis she does not care as long as it does not impact on her life.
She was a good dd before she met him,i had never even had an argument with her.

Do you know her address? If so you could write to her and let her know the CC letters have come and ask if she wants to collect them or should you forward them on. Otherwise the bailiffs will be visiting you, leaving you with the choice of paying her debts for her or telling them how to contact her. If the only way is via her man at his work place this won't go down well!

Why is anybody nice to anyone who's not nice in return. It's nice to know that you're concerned about you're DD but she knows where you live and really I think that's all you need to do.

Surely you must forward the letters to her. I believe it is illegal to open another's letters. You should also tell the county court her new address. Put the new address on them and put them back in the postbox.

As your daughter no long lives with you, don't open any mail addressed to her, just cross out your address, write her present address in place of it, and pop it in a postbox.
If there are letters arriving from the County Court, get in touch with the relevant department and inform them of the date your daughter left your premises and details of her new address.
It sounds harsh, but she's an adult, and should not be putting this pressure on you.

I would return all the letters to the county court with a note stating when you DD left and explaining that you don't know her present address. It is then up to the court to track her down. I'm fairly sure that for every letter sent out, the cost of its issue is added to the debt. Good luck whatever you decide.

Pallmall You really do need to return the letters to the county court as Judy says because this debt being registered against your address will seriously affect your own credit history and might even lead to the bailiffs coming to your home to find goods to sell to recover the relevant debt.

This is no time to be thinking of using this situation to your advantage since it will just add more sad ingredients to the whole mix. There is no advantage to anyone in this sad situation.

You are in a no win situation. She will not thank you for any input into her relationship and it will only harm you. Keep out of it as much as you can. Be patient and this may well be the start of DD's relationship ending and so everything might change for you, too, hopefully for the better.

Have you been listening to the Archers? I think your dd may really need you. If you can either write or visit that would be good. BUT with a sense of helping her and make sure she knows you love her and will be there if and when she escapes from this controlling man.

I am with stansgran on this.You send them to her address or better still contact the debt collectors at the county court. to get them to collect the letters from you as she is not at this address.

I think sending them to her address isn't good enough. If she ignores them there could be further trouble for you if the county court doesn't know she has moved from your address.

I agree with the advice to be patient Pallmall you will get to see your GS eventually. If you cause your DD problems now she will more than likely keep your GS away from you in the future.

Please follow the advice to inform the County Court that she is no longer living at your address, the date she left and that you don't know where she lives now. It's then their job to find her. I'm not a lawyer, but I don't think they can take anything of yours in settlement of her debt. Another GN member may know.Might be worth getting some advice from a high street lawyer who offers half an hour free.

So sorry that you no longer see your grandson, but you have to stay clear of getting involved in her new relationship. You've had one very bad experience of her assaulting you and you most certainly don't want another.

Sending a virtual hug and