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In a pickle

(10 Posts)
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Maggie59 Fri 18-Nov-16 22:46:43

I moved to a different town about 15 months ago and have gradually made friends. One is a widower about the same age and recently I've found myself growing more and more fond of him. I know he likes me a lot as he always makes a point of greeting me with a hug and kisses when we see each other and last week he told me he'd missed me while he was away on holiday. Before he came out with that, he asked if he could say something 'corny'. He texts me sometimes and always ends his messages with at least 3 xxx
Now, I've been married for almost 30 years and things haven't always been smooth sailing, but what do I do? Am I reading too much into this situation? I should also point out that my friend is deeply religious.

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tanith Fri 18-Nov-16 22:59:01

What do you want to do? Start an affair? I'd sort out my feelings and intentions regarding my 30yr marriage before I could think about starting up with a relationship with someone else. You need to take a step back and sort out your feelings about your husband and your marriage and whether you want it to continue or not.
Sorry if I'm blunt but I really don't know what else I could say.

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rafichagran Fri 18-Nov-16 23:29:47

Please be careful. Are you just flattered by this mans attention? I have to say you sound like a love struck teenager, only you have alot more to lose.

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Christinefrance Sat 19-Nov-16 08:18:55

Tanith is right, be very careful what you wish for. It's good to know we can stir emotions as we get older but also easy to mistake substance for shadow. Enjoy new friendships but 30 years is a lot to lose.

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vampirequeen Sat 19-Nov-16 10:56:01

How good/bad is your marriage? Would you consider leaving your husband if you hadn't met this gentleman? How long has he been a widower?

I left my ex after 30+ years and have never looked back but I left for my own sanity. If you are truly unhappy in your marriage then it's time to think seriously about what you want. Do not make snap decisions and do not base your decisions on a possible relationship with this gentleman.

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janeainsworth Sat 19-Nov-16 11:03:27

Perhaps you should think about the widower as well as about yourself.
'Leading someone on' is an old-fashioned term but you are not being fair to him to make him think you're interested in a relationship if you're not.Any 30-year relationship has periods of not very smooth sailing.
Frankly if a man sent me texts that ended with 3 x's my replies would be very short and to the point and completely devoid of any terms of endearment.

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Maggie59 Sat 19-Nov-16 14:37:52

Thank you for all your comments. I'm going to let my head rule my heart.
For those who asked, this man has been a widower for 13 years.

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DaphneBroon Sat 19-Nov-16 14:45:53

But you aren't a free agent, or are you?
Be sensible, perhaps include your DH in some meetings (coffee or whatever) if you are not "in the market" you have to be clear to the poor man.

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rosesarered Sat 19-Nov-16 14:50:44

What the others say! Include your DH when you meet him and make it clear that you have no romantic interest in him.

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Marmark1 Sat 19-Nov-16 21:13:13

I'm certainly not religious myself,but deeply religious?coveting another mans wife?

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